Let’s face it — sometimes, it seems like men and women may as well be entirely different species. I mean, the self-help relationship book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus was penned for a reason! While every individual has a distinct personality, in general, there are a lot of differences between how men communicate and how women communicate, how men view the world and how women view the world, etc. That means that some things guys might think aren’t really a big deal are total swoon-worthy moments for women — and vice versa. Men tend to think that women are wowed by big, expensive gestures, but in the worlds of Shania Twain’s classic song — that don’t impress us much. In fact, many women tend to prefer smaller gestures that guys may not even realize they’re doing — a subtle glance here, a chivalrous gesture there, just being a gentleman in general. We’re not looking for hot air balloons and sky writing. 

So, if you’re looking for some tips and tricks on how to get an impressed eyebrow raise from your date, look no further — here are 15 things that you should do — or may already be doing, in fact — that women absolutely adore. Honestly, sometimes it’s the little things in life.

15. When you open the car door/restaurant door for her

Once upon a time, this gesture was almost non-negotiable — it’s something that all men did for all women, regardless of whether they were trying to impress them or not. It was just good manners. Unfortunately, it’s fallen out of fashion a bit, and many men are kind of just assuming that ladies can open doors for themselves. And yes, they can — however, it’s still a gentlemanly move to open a door for her, and one that she will definitely notice. It takes literally about two seconds of your time, and it’ll make a great impression. Want to add some expert level to this particular move? Put your hand on the small of her back as she’s walking through the door. Swoon. That’s a good way to pretty much guarantee a second date.

14. When you give her your coat

Listen, women get that their tendency to fail to bring appropriate outerwear in certain cases is frustrating. However, let’s be honest — sometimes, when a woman has spent a long time planning the perfect outfit for an occasion, she doesn’t want to ruin it by adding a bulky sweater or jacket on top of it. I mean, why bother putting in all that hard work just to cover it up? When it gets a little too chilly, though, and you offer her your coat? Mega points for that move. Even though your coat is probably less flattering than whatever she may have worn, somehow, it looks cute and women are more willing to rock that look than spoil their outfit with their own outerwear. We didn’t say these things always made sense — just that we appreciate when you slip your jacket around our shivering shoulders.

13. When you check us out — but try to do it subtly

There’s a pretty big difference between what guys think is subtle and what girls think is subtle, but honestly, it’s sort of endearing. Listen, no woman wants to be on the receiving end of a full-out, blatant oogle — it just makes women feel uncomfortable more often than not. However, a little side glance, a burst of elevator eyes, a check out that you think is subtle and she’s not noticing but she 100% is? Most women love that, especially if you’re someone they might already be interested in. It just validates that she went with the right outfit choice when you can’t seem to take your eyes off her, and she’ll appreciate the fact that you’re not full-on staring at her curves and ignoring her face entirely. Subtlety is key when it comes to a charming check-out.

12. When you make decisive plans

Okay, there are times when a woman may have a specific idea in mind for a date — a particular new, hot restaurant she’s been dying to check out, a movie she’s been waiting all year for, etc. However, for the most part, women don’t always love being put on the spot and made to choose what the evening’s plans will be. Women like when men take a little initiative and plan something out. It lets us know that you put some thought and effort into it, it takes the pressure off us to choose between a hundred different places, and it lets us focus on the night at hand instead of whether we made the right pick. Plus, it shows that you’ve got a certain degree of confidence, which is always an attractive quality.

11. When you play with kids

One quick caveat here — if the woman you’re interested in really doesn’t like children and has no interest in having children in the future, this may not really be the thing that catches her eye. However, for most women who see babies as something on the horizon for them, it’s a total heart melter. Whether you’re just pulling a funny face at the kid at the next table at a restaurant, or horsing around with your nephew at a family event, there’s just something adorable about a guy getting all goofy and showing his tender side. It lets woman see that you’re definite father material — which, if that’s something important to her, is a big deal. Plus, it’s just incredible cute.

10. When you cook for her

Everyone has heard the saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but let’s be real for a second — women have to eat too, and there’s really nothing better than discovering that a guy has got some skills in the kitchen. No woman is expecting a gourmet five-course feast from her partner, but if you’re able to whip up a batch of waffles on a lazy weekend morning, or pull together a quick dinner after we’ve had a long and exhausting day? Major, major points. Even if a woman loves to cook and has no issue being the one in the relationship to do most of the cooking, every now and then, everyone loves to be pampered a little bit. If you have some wine to go along with your dinner? Even better.

9. When you hug her from behind

Okay, note — we don’t mean sneaking up on someone from behind when they’re not expecting it and scaring them half to death. That is super not cool. What we mean is when a guy is standing near his date or partner and gently gives her a hug from behind — just a slight squeeze, barely perceptible. It seems like such a small gesture, and it’s certainly nowhere near as X-rated as some of the things you can do, but there’s just something about it — it makes women feel safe and protected, and it has a certain intimacy about it. So, if you really want to melt her a little on your next date, don’t go for the full on make-out until later — stun her with a little hug from behind, and she won’t know what hit her.

8. When you have your sleeves halfway rolled

Different women have different preferences when it comes to a man’s style. Some women prefer a more casual look, jeans and tees and Converse, etc. Perhaps a leather jacket thrown in there, if you like that bad boy vibe. Other women love their men super clean cut and dressed to the nines in a perfectly tailored suit. However, there’s one clothing trait that almost universally drives women crazy — the halfway rolled up sleeves. This could be on a worn flannel shirt or a pristine white dress shirt — something about the half-roll is just plain old sexy. Obviously you can’t rock this look if you’re in a full suit, but if you’re just in a button down of some sort? Roll those sleeves. Trust us on this one, there’s just something about it.

7. When you drop some knowledge — but not in a pretentious way

Listen — no one likes a know it all. Even if you’re insanely successful in your field and kind of a big deal, that still should not be the sole topic of conversation on a date, plain and simple. However, there’s no denying that intelligence is an attractive quality in a man. When a guy chimes in on a subject and shows his expertise, or even just pulls out some unique trivia out of nowhere, it definitely deserves a bit of an eyebrow raise, because that’s kind of impressive. While women are obviously drawn to certain physical characteristics in their romantic partners, what’s going on in a man’s brain is just as important as the colour of his eyes. A smart guy immediately gets some points because, hey, who doesn’t want to have insightful, intelligent conversations?

6. When you’re obviously passionate about something

A lot of the qualities that make a man attractive to a woman have absolutely nothing to do with how they look physically. Things like confidence and a sense of humour are at the top of virtually every woman’s list, as well as this little trait — passion. And no, we’re not talking about between the sheets (although that’s required as well). We’re talking about a guy having an interest in things and demonstrating that interest — women love that. It doesn’t have to be anything even remotely related to a woman’s passions — perhaps you love vintage muscle cars and spend half your weekend working on a restoration project in your garage, while she’s all about pop art. The point is, being passionate about something that matters to you is sexy, plain and simple.

5. When you flex — but think that she doesn’t notice

Oh, men. You really, truly underestimate what a woman notices, in the most endearing way possible. There are many instances where a man will try to flex his bicep a little bit, or tense certain muscles, in an attempt to look a lot buffer than he actually is. It’s adorable — and who are we to judge, because many women wiggle into Spanx and similar garments before slipping into their gorgeous outfits. However, the thing that women love most about when you flex and think we won’t notice is, well, you think we won’t notice. It’s insanely obvious, but we’ll play along and make a comment about your physique so you’ll get that cute, pleased look in your face because it’s just adorable. You get to feel good about your biceps, we get to be charmed by your eagerness, it’s a win win. 

4. When you’re a little scruffy

When it comes to facial hair, there are a lot of differing opinions out there. Some women absolutely love a lush, thick beard on their man, while others prefer a clean shaven guy. However, one thing is almost universally attractive to women — a little bit of scruff. Five o’clock shadow, whatever you want to call it — it’s cute. We’re not talking about that awkward stage where your face is like sandpaper that scrapes us up every time we get near you. We’re talking about when you look just a little bit rumpled, a little bit more casual than your normal self — it’s like how many guys love their women with minimal make-up and messy hair. There’s just something about the relaxed, off duty nature of the five o’clock scruff that’s endearing.

3. When you get her flowers for no reason

Most women love flowers, but to be honest, they can be a bit of a splurge. Sure, women can treat themselves to a luxe bouquet every now and then, but the majority of women find it hard to justify getting expensive flowers all the time. That’s why it’s wonderful when someone gives them as a thoughtful gift. However, as much as women love flowers as a gift on a date or for a special occasion, there’s pretty much nothing better than getting flowers out of the blue, for no reason at all. It just feels about a thousand times more special, it makes us happy, and it will without doubt impress us that you were thoughtful enough to get us a beautiful bouquet ‘just because.’ See, we told you — it’s the little gestures that truly have an impact.

2. When you give her the forehead kiss

Every woman loves a toe-curling kiss from the guy they’re crushing on, but often, it’s the small gestures that will truly melt her. Take the forehead kiss, for example. To guys, it likely seems like something that’s not really a big deal, the kind of affection you would show to a family member or friend. However, there’s just something about the gesture that is so touching. It makes us feel safe and protected, just like the hug from behind, and it makes us feel like you truly care about us — like you’re not just in it for the more R-rated activities. A forehead kiss every now and then will get you a lot of points, trust us on this one. You don’t even understand the power of some of these small gestures.

1. When you play with her hair

Okay, there are some exceptions to this rule, so just pay attention to context. If a woman has just spent an hour on her hair, making sure it looks perfect, don’t go and tangle your paws all through it and mess up her hard work. However, for the most part, women love having their hair played with. It’s just another one of those small gestures that we love when you do. When you’re just hanging out, watching something on Netflix and spending a quiet night in, and you bust out the hair stroking? There’s nothing better. It’s like a spa visit for our scalp and a relaxation treatment, all in one. In fact, if you combine playing with her hair and a little bit of a scalp massage? We’ll legit be putty in your hands, just saying.

Sources: forevertwentysomethings.com, elitedaily.com, gurl.com