15 $100,000 Cars That Are Too Embarrassing To Drive
When you’re on the lookout for a new car, a few factors are always involved that help you narrow down your choices and make a decision. Normally these are functionality, performance, and looks. All of these become even more important once you decide to spend almost a hundred grand on your purchase because it is not a small investment.
For this amount of money, you can get a really nice sports or luxury vehicle depending on your requirements but there are also plenty of bad choices if you’re not careful. They are usually plagued with a number of issues, from a complete lack of features and ugly looks to a depreciating rate worse than the smartphone in your pocket. All of this ends up in a vehicle that is embarrassing to drive and makes you reevaluate your choices if you end up purchasing it.
Our list includes both new and used cars that you can find in this price range and we highly recommend staying away from them.
15. Mitsuoka Orochi
Look up any list of ugly cars on the internet and you will see the Mitsuoka Orochi on there. It was introduced in 2001 by Japanese company Mitsuoka and according to their claims the Orochi is a car that is bound to get attention from everyone, which is true but it’s for all the wrong reasons.
Its name originates from the name of a legendary Japanese eight-headed dragon which makes it seem like it would be one badass vehicle, however, it looks more like a crazy four-eyed fish. What is even crazier is that it was priced around $100,000 with some ending models even going for more than that.
Forget the ridiculous design for a minute, you would expect a car with such a price tag to have really good performance but you would be wrong. It has a mid-mounted 3.3-litre Toyota V6 producing 230bhp and if you think that sounds familiar, it is because this is the exact same engine that you can find in Toyota’s 5th generation Camry or Highlander. Why anyone would consider spending money on this abomination is beyond us but if you still do end up buying it then not only will you be noticed but probably laughed at as well.
14. Alfa Romeo SZ
The Alfa Romeo SZ looks like a car that was designed by a 4-year-old. It also looks like a kit car that someone put together, especially with that ridiculous looking rear but unfortunately, that’s not the case.
Back in 1989, Alfa Romeo was lagging behind the competition and it was in critical need of some publicity. The SZ did the trick but it ended up being so ugly that it damaged the Alfa Romeo brand quite a bit. Time since then has been cruel to its already strange looks.
It is powered by a 3.0-litre 12 valve V6 that generates a total of 210 horsepower. They are quite rare to find nowadays which is why they cost somewhere around $100k with some models even going for more, but unless you’re a hardcore Alfa Romeo collector, buying this car won’t do you any good and you’ll only be embarrassed once you’re driving it in public.
13. Cadillac Escalade ESV Platinum
The Cadillac Escalade ESV Platinum is one of the most expensive SUV’s that you can spend money on with a price tag upward of $97,000. Yes, you read that correct: You can now spend almost a hundred grand on a Cadillac Escalade.
With a massive 6.2-litre V8 engine under the hood producing 420 horsepower, this beast does 0 to 60 in around six seconds and it is loaded with almost all the modern luxury features you’d expect to find. The only issue is that it’s basically a Chevy Tahoe underneath and that clearly shows.
Even more than that, the Escalade ESV Platinum has zero practicality whatsoever and it is unable to justify its price especially when there are so many cheaper options on the market with similar features.
12. Hummer H1 Alpha
If the Toyota Prius represents everything that is green in the world then the Hummer is its antithesis. Weighing almost 7,000 pounds and with a width of more than seven feet, the Hummer H1 is a civilian version of the HMMWV (High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle). It is already notorious for its terrible fuel economy and most people who own this SUV are thought of as idiots who don’t give a rat’s ass about the environment.
You can normally find a Hummer H1 for quite cheap but if you’re looking at the Alpha version of this SUV then be prepared to spend well over a hundred grand. Once you buy it, however, be prepared for some mean stares and remarks about your genitalia when you drive.
11. Volkswagen Phaeton
Can you imagine spending almost a hundred thousand dollars on a Volkswagen? Neither can we. The Volkswagen Phaeton is an uber-saloon that looks more like a jacked-up Passat than anything else and costs, well, you guessed it, a whopping $100,000.
It’s big, bulky and quite possibly one of the most expensive cars in the world to maintain. Another important factor to keep in mind is that it depreciates faster than anything else you will ever come across which is why you can easily find used ones under $20,000. It is definitely one of the worst purchases you can make for an automobile.
10. BMW 5-series GT
BMW is known for creating some of the most beautiful and visually appealing cars in the world but even they end up creating some ugly ducklings every once in a while. A car that is the size of a BMW 7-series but carries the looks of an AMC Eagle will most probably end up being not very attractive.
Combine that with the emphasis on hauling cargo instead of performance and you have a vehicle that has mediocre driving dynamics. There are so many better-looking cars out there that you can spend your money on and you don’t have to worry about being laughed at while driving one of those.
9. Porsche Panamera
You know your Porsche isn’t that great when the CEO of Porsche himself admits that it doesn’t look very nice. This is the story of the infamous Porsche Panamera.
It is powered by a 4.8-litre turbocharged V8 which produces a mind-blowing 520-horsepower meaning that this car is no slouch. It can do 0 to 60 in 3.7 seconds and reach a top speed of 189 mph. Where it fails, however, is the aesthetics department. It easily costs upwards of a hundred grand and for that amount of money it looks quite ridiculous. In an interview with Australia’s Motoring, Porsche CEO Matthias Mueller admitted the fact that mistakes were indeed made in the production of their first-generation Panamera.
8. Salica GT
The Salica GT is an example of a car which could’ve been so much better but was ruined because of its horrific appearance. It is based on the great looking Noble M12 but none of it shows here in the car’s aesthetics.
In simpler words, it looks extremely cheap. The body panels look like they were created from plastic which is used on dollar store toys and those wacky looking headlights don’t inspire a lot of confidence either. People will only wonder where you bought this kit car from once they see you driving it.
7. Ferrari 550 Maranello
Ah yes, we have a Ferrari on this list, two maybe (or not) but you cannot deny the fact that Ferrari has created some incredibly sexy cars in the past and continues to do so to this day but despite it, there is always that one odd bird in the family.
You take one look at this car and you cannot deny the fact that it looks a bit ugly compared to some of its other siblings and you really do not want to be known as the guy who owns an ugly Ferrari. You can find used ones in the $100,000 range but we wouldn’t really suggest that unless you have a taste for collecting Ferraris that look bad.
6. Lamborghini LM002
When you look at the Lamborghini LM002 it becomes quite obvious that the exotic car maker should stick to creating low profile supercars like the Countach or Murcielago.
It was nicknamed the “Rambo Lambo” since it can basically go anywhere but it never really caught on simply for the fact that it looks downright ugly. Its 5.2-litre V12 engine was sourced straight from the Lamborghini Countach which produced around 444 horsepower. Though it is an old vehicle, you can still find used ones in the hundred-grand ballpark figure.
5. BMW X6 M
The BMW X6 M is basically a BMW X5 which had its butt chopped off. There are a lot of things wrong with it and it fails to make sense as a car. What BMW was trying to achieve here is beyond us.
If offers some ground clearance but then fails off-road. The coupe-style body is there but then it weighs a massive 5,000 pounds with very little room in the back seats. Finally, it is downright ugly! You will be wondering why anyone ever thought about spending $100,000 on this car when they could’ve easily bought something that was actually practical and didn’t look like a Bavarian cockroach.
4. Mercedes AMG GLE
The AMG GLE is Mercedes’ answer to BMW’s X6 which we already have on our list. If you haven’t noticed the trend yet then allow us to explain. The class of mid-sized luxury SUV sports coupes just looks plain wrong.
The GLE is big, bulky and it certainly does not go unnoticed. On top of that, it carries the AMG badge without actually having anything common with the AMG cars of the past and present. Derek Kreindler perfectly sums up this car as “a cross between the new S-Class coupe and a growth of the Human Papilloma Virus”.
3. Lexus LX 570
The Lexus LX 570 is technically a very sound vehicle because its frame is basically that of a Land Cruiser but it is also incredibly complicated, frustrating and ugly. On top of that, it is unnecessarily expensive.
It has an eight-speed gearbox with a huge 5.6-liter V8 that makes a not-so-impressive 383 horsepower and 403 lb-ft of torque while weighing an insane 6,200 pounds. This means that driving the SUV is not much fun. While it looks huge on the outside, the fact that it is cramped on the inside doesn’t make any sense either. And finally, that hideous front Lexus grille will hopefully make you change your plans of buying this monstrosity if you have any.
2. Maserati Ghibli
The Ghibli is a luxury car which unfortunately does not offer much luxury or features that even the most basic cars have these days. Most modern cars in this price range offer automatic braking, forward collision alerts, lane departure warning systems and much more. The Ghibli has none of this despite costing the same amount of money.
There is also no panoramic sunroof, no adaptive cruise control and your powertrain choices are limited to a 3.0-liter turbocharged V6 and a slightly more powerful version of the same engine. So, what you end up buying is a car that costs the same amount if not more than its competitors and then offers none of the bells and whistles they do. To us, that seems like a bad deal and that’s the reason why you should avoid getting this car.
1. Ferrari California
The California is a front-engine V8-powered Ferrari which is over styled and very butt-heavy. A lot of people refuse to even consider it a proper Ferrari because it does not have the flair that some of its other siblings carry.
Even the Ferrari CEO Sergio Marchionne didn’t waste the opportunity to trash it. “The car I’ve had the most difficulty is the California,” he said. “I bought two of them — I bought the first one and I liked the car very much but it’s the one car that, from an identity standpoint, has the hardest time of seeing itself as a full-blown Ferrari.” Buying a used 2009 or 2010 model will set you back almost a hundred grand.
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