Are you a parent? Are you overwhelmed? Any regrets so far? Well, I doubt anyone is blunt enough to admit a few reasons why they regret being dads. When you think about it, the pros outweigh the cons by a big margin. There’s so much joy in being a parent, and more specifically, a dad. Having children and being responsible for another human being is probably the single most life-changing event in any person’s life. Children and family change everything, including the way you spend your time, your relationships with your friends and even your perception of the world. Having a family is perhaps one of the most life-changing events any man can go through after marriage.
A lot of people never plan to step into parenthood; it often happens by mistake, a mistake that more than often is a blessing in disguise. The family is sacred; it’s an everlasting bond between people that stay with us forever. However, when a man decides or stumbles upon parenthood, are there any regrets that he is going to face in his lifetime? The what if’s, the missed opportunities, the lost ones, single life…Well, if you are wondering what these regrets might be, here are the 15 biggest regrets dads will have in their lifetime.
Let’s face it, once in a while we all love to be reckless and irresponsible, however, when you step into fatherhood, you vow to be 110% responsible. Recklessness and irresponsibility are traits that can’t survive fatherhood. It’s obvious you need to be a good role model to your children, make a decent living, dress well, be polite, successful and above all, be responsible. But once in a while, we all want to go all out and misbehave, be it at that office party, or at your friend’s wedding party, or probably spend a little bit too much on a new car. Sadly, none of these are acceptable in fatherhood, something most men will learn to regret.
14. Family Slave
Just cleared your MBA? Finally working at your dream job? Well, you better enjoy this period before fatherhood kicks in. Most fathers admit regretting fatherhood when they remember the days they were single and successful. Don’t get me wrong, none of them admit regretting their children, they just regret not making the best out of the time they were alone. After fatherhood, all the money and time you have belongs to your family. There’s no way you are getting the new iPhone without first ensuring everyone gets what they want for their birthday and Christmas. You owe your life, time and resources to your family; you are a dad!
13. Need to be a good Role Model
So you had a bad reputation in high school? You were a womanizer on campus? Those are good social tags when you want to nurse your ego, but when you are a dad, they need to be thrown out the window. Being a role model isn’t easy, it essentially means being good enough for someone else to emulate. Not everyone makes a good role model, and it’s severely painful when you have to compete with your neighbor, friends or family to be a good role model to your children. Want to be a good role model dad? You will have to remain that way for around 18 years when they are old enough to choose their own paths.
12. Stand up to Bullies
Being a dad often means being a protector and standing up not only for your children but also for your family. When Junior gets bullied at school and comes home crying, you will have to be the one who storms into the principal’s office demanding answers. Should there be an altercation at the mall or when someone tries to forcefully make a pass at your wife, it’s time to man up and stand for them. As a man, you are expected to be a protector. In the modern world, it’s not as easy as it looks. Getting beat up at the mall while your family watches helplessly can be a regretful experience for any dad.
11. Can no Longer go Rogue
Don’t you ever feel like blowing off steam once in a while? We all do, sometimes work and life get too tough we just want to let loose. Well, when you are a dad, you no longer have the luxury to get out of work on Friday and disappear from the face of the Earth until Sunday evening. It’s unacceptable. You have responsibilities now, and you have a family and children. A lot of fathers regret not being able to go rogue, like they were able to before fatherhood, but you could always take a holiday with the wife without the kids, blow off some steam, misbehave for a couple of days overseas before you get back to being a dad.
10. Can’t Party Until the AM anymore
Love to go out and get wasted till 6 am and crawl back to your apartment? You are going to get into a lot of trouble with child services once your neighbor reports you. Or worse, you might have to explain to your raging wife when she lets you in after your partying spree. Before you were a dad, you would have probably laughed it off, but now, you are a dad, and it’s no longer acceptable to party until morning. While this isn’t the biggest regret dads have, it makes it on our list of 15. Plus, no babysitter is going to wait up for you until 6 in the morning.
9. Parent Teacher Meetings/ School Events
It’s sad that when you get to this point of life, you literally have to sit through thousands of boring meetings at the office and still have to attend more at school. Your wife might help you out with a few of those, but since she does most of the childcare, it’s up to daddy to attend those long boring school meetings, not forgetting all the pageants and sporting events in the school calendar. That’s a lot of work for an individual, and single parents need to be crowned superheroes. If you are a dad, you already regret being a dad for this, but it’s part of what you signed up for. Therefore, it’s only better if you made the best out of it.
8. When your Child Get Sick
There’s something about visiting hospitals that always makes you feel sick, even if you were 100% okay when you walked in. It could probably be caused by seeing a lot of sick people. There’s nothing as bad as having to take your child to the hospital because they are sick. It’s believed that the child’s parents can almost directly feel their children’s pain, emotionally and physically. You probably regret being a dad when you see your children sick; no one wants to see their loved ones suffer. It’s normal for kids to get sick. When they do, it’s part of life; your strength is what will make them better.
7. Gifts and Holidays
Don’t you love gifts? It’s almost inhuman not to like presents and especially during the holiday season. Gifts make us feel appreciated, loved and cared for. Ever heard of Santa Claus? You probably believed in him until you were old enough or maybe you just found out now (sorry for the spoiler). Well, once you are a dad, you are officially Santa, meaning you will be the provider of gifts, presents and fun days. Unlucky for you. Some imaginary chubby guy dressed in red and with a white beard will have to take the credit for all the gifts until your kids are old enough to understand it was you (they’ll never probably thank you, which sucks).
6. Driving Instructor
Still, I haven’t met a single person who enjoys teaching people how to drive. It makes a funny experience to teach someone how to cycle since you won’t get enough of the funny falls, but with driving, you will have to be patient and tolerant. Being a driving teacher is fun until you realize your student can’t get anything right. It makes for the perfect father and son time, but it can be one of the most heinous sessions if your child isn’t the quick learner you hoped. You are probably going to hate this part of your life if you are going to do this more than once.
5. The One that Got Away
There’s always that one girl who got away. Don’t lie, guys, we all have that one girl we wonder how it would have been if you asked them out. Most people wouldn’t think much of it unless of course, they are stuck in a bad marriage. Once you become a dad, you can’t possibly pursue the one that got away, unless you are thinking of a divorce, which makes your life a little harder than it was. Dads simply can’t follow the girls they missed. They have one at home, probably waiting for them as we speak. If you are a dad and you are still thinking about the one you missed, it might be a little bit late too late for that now.
Do you like babysitting? No one who has babysat loves babysitting anymore, but when they are your kids, you have no choice. As a dad, you probably don’t spend as much time with your kids as their mom, that is unless you are a stay at home dad. One of the perks of being a dad is you don’t get to babysit as often as your wife might have to. But on certain occasions, you might have to exercise that duty, and especially when she is out of town. Not many dads enjoy this part of their job, and when the kids are out of control, and the house looks like a zoo, for a minute, they would wish they were not dads.
3. Daughter’s Boyfriend
Dying to meet your daughter’s boyfriend? This is not a popular occasion for most dads. And it’s because they have been wired to be protective of their daughters. Once the teenage boys start ringing at your door every weekend looking to take your daughter out for a smoothie, that’s when most dads wish they never became dads in the first place. You can’t block your teenage child from having a boyfriend, but then again, you can’t help giving the stink eye to every boy who asks your daughter out. The worst is when your daughter falls for an older or rugged boy. At that point, most dads wish they weren’t fathers.
2. Not Spending Enough Time with Family
Everyone needs a place to fall back, a place they can feel loved and appreciated, for most people, the only place where such comfort can be found is in the family. Sometimes we are so caught up with work that we forget our families, and especially when you are working so hard to give them the best. In case you are a dad and you are missing out on your children’s sports events, school events, birthdays, first steps, first day at school, driving test, then you are missing out on a big part of your life as a dad. At one point in your life, when it’s too late, you will regret not being there for your family when they needed you.
1. Daughter’s wedding
Weddings are bittersweet occasions. For the family, it’s a chance to expand, and for the married couple, it’s a new step in their life. Well, having to walk your daughter down the aisle is probably one of the toughest tasks. It’s hard not to look at your grown daughter as that tiny cute kindergarten girl with pigtails. Those few steps are probably the hardest steps any father can make in their life, but they often mean a lot to their children. In case you did not spend enough time with your kids, then you will never enjoy this journey down the aisle. The reason: she has a new man in her life now, and from this moment on, you are always going to be #2.
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