Relationships are specific to the two individuals within them — everyone has different views on life and what they’ll tolerate from their partner, and everyone has different things they like. What one person find annoying another may find charming, so it’s often tough to make generalizations about relationships. Note we said tough — not impossible. The fact is, if you ask a group of women, chances are there will be a few behaviours or traits that just rub them the wrong way. Things that enough guys have done that it’s become kind of a thing, and they’re not just a red flag — they’re non-negotiable relationship deal breakers.
What, exactly, is a deal breaker? Well, it’s something that trumps any great qualities your partner may have. Some of them are related to behaviour, some are related to your partner’s physical qualities, but they all have one thing in common — most women just can’t envision a relationship lasting if their partner has one (or more) of these things going on. So, if you recognize any of these behaviours in yourself, and you keep getting dumped after the first few dates? It may be time for a little self-evaluation.
Here are 15 of the biggest relationship deal breakers for women.
15. If he cheats — period
Now, there are some women who opt to stay with their partner after they’ve cheated, and that’s their decision — it can be a particularly tough choice if the person cheating is someone you’ve been with for a very long time. However, in general, cheating is one of the biggest deal breakers in a relationship, period. It breaks the trust in a relationship in a major way, and it plants a seed that often never disappears — will he cheat again? People have different views of the ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ mindset, but the fact is, knowledge of a partner’s cheating may make a normally secure and strong woman insecure and jealous because she’s worried it will happen again. It just introduces a toxic element to the relationship that is definitely a deal breaker.
14. If he’s obsessed with his gadgets — to the point where he ignores you
Listen, we’re not saying you can never play video games, or you need to ignore all sports games you’re excited about. That would be totally ridiculous. However, there are some guys who would rather play video games for hours than spend time with their girlfriend, and who flat out ignore her when she walks into the room. It’s one thing if it happens once, perhaps after your guy just got a new gadget or new video game he’s pumped about. However, if a woman finds herself feeling like she comes second to a device, she’s going to find another guy who puts her first. Period. If he’s obsessed with his gadgets to the point where he ignores you, that’s a huge deal breaker. No one wants to be ignored and made to feel like they’re a lower priority than a game.
13. If he has a wandering eye/is overly flirtatious
No woman is foolish enough to think that her guy will never notice a beautiful woman that crosses his path. I mean, women drool over chiselled celebs on the big screen sometimes — noticing a beautiful woman doesn’t mean he loves his girlfriend any less. And yes, being flirtatious or having a bit of a wandering eye isn’t as severe of a deal breaker as flat out cheating is. However, it’s still just not cool. No woman wants to feel like her guy is constantly checking out other women, even in front of her. Even the most secure woman will eventually get tired of telling a guy to keep his eyes off the waitress’ curves when she’s literally sitting across the table from him, noticing those eyes wandering. It’s just not cool.
12. If he can’t stop bragging about how amazing he is
Okay, here’s the thing — yes, women love a man who is confident and who knows his worth. Confidence is definitely a great trait to have, and super attractive to women. However, there’s a difference between being confident and being cocky. If a guy is always talking about how amazing he is, how smart he is, how rich he is, etc., that’s a big deal breaker. The financial bragging in particular is the worst. Every woman loves to get treated to dinner every now and then during the whole courtship process, but if your dinner partner does nothing but talk about his bank account, his fancy apartment, his luxury vehicle, etc., that’s going to get really irritating, really quickly. Actions speak louder than words, guys — just be a confident, amazing person and she’ll figure the rest out.
11. If he’s rude
Here’s a little secret, men — there’s a reason so many women love going out to dinner as one of the first dates. And no, it’s not just to chow down on some delicious food, although that’s definitely a nice bonus. One of the things women look for is how a guy treats the staff at a restaurant. If he’s rude to the hostess for losing his reservation, or dismissive of the waitress, that’s a huge red flag. You want a guy who treats everyone with kindness — if a guy is rude to someone he thinks of as below him, it’s a big indication that he likely treats others in his life with the same kind of rudeness, and that’s a huge turn off. Everyone loves someone who is kind — so just know that your rude behaviour may have been the deal breaker.
10. If he’s into illegal substances
For the vast majority of women, if they find out that their dream guy is actually a serious drug user, that’s a huge deal breaker. Yes, addiction is a real and serious thing and if a guy is in active recovery, a woman may be more willing to take a chance on a relationship. However, a guy who just has a drug habit is definitely not a guy who you want to be in a relationship with. Not only is he doing something illegal, he’s likely going to lie to you, get himself in dangerous situations, and put scoring his high above you on his list of priorities, always. It’s basically the recipe for a toxic relationship, so most women consider drug use a huge deal breaker, no matter what.
9. If you’re not compatible in the bedroom
Listen, you may not have total fireworks the first few times you hook up with a partner — it often takes a while to get to know someone’s body, what they like, what drives them crazy, etc. However, if you’ve been dating for a while and find that you’re just not compatible in the bedroom, that’s a big deal breaker. There are some things you can compromise on, but if you enjoy vanilla love and your partner wants to bring out the whips for every encounter, that’s likely going to lead to some issues. Alternatively, if your partner just doesn’t care enough to find how to please you in the bedroom, that’s an issue as well. If you’ve been dating for a while and it’s still a disaster in the sheets, that’s a deal breaker.
8. If he just looks messy and unkempt all the time
No woman expects her partner to wear a three piece suit at all times, particularly if he doesn’t have the kind of job where that’s a requirement in his work hours. However, there is a certain expectation that your guy look presentable. Yes, some women love the scruffy look, but there’s a difference between being adorably scruffy and being flat out messy looking. If you frequently rock a t-shirt you pulled out of the laundry pile, complete with wrinkles and a stain still there from a previous meal, don’t even know where your hairbrush is, and find yourself wondering when the last time you trimmed or groomed your facial hair is… that’s a deal breaker. Whatever your style is, women will accept that, as long as you look somewhat put together — even if that means jeans and a (clean!) t-shirt.
7. If he’s too needy
This goes back to the question of confidence — a confident man is a man women are attracted to, period. Women definitely want a man who wants to spend time with them, but there’s a bit of a limit. If you’re constantly looking to hang out with her, to the point where you don’t give her time to hang out with her friends or just have a bit of a solo self-care time, that’s an issue. No one wants to feel like their partner is a koala clinging to their leg at all times — that’s irritating and a major turn off. So, if your behaviour is majorly needy, that’s likely going to be a big relationship deal breaker. No woman wants to have to deal with a needy guy day after day.
6. If he has no sense of humour
Not every guy is going to be a stand-up comic who has you busting a gut 24/7 — and that’s fine. However, if a guy has absolutely no sense of humour and isn’t able to laugh at himself ever, that can be a deal breaker. No one wants to be serious all the time, and women want a guy who they know can laugh it off if there’s some kind of a disaster. After all, there’s a reason that so many women will rate a good sense of humour above even physical attributes — it’s a major part of someone’s personality, and as a result, is a major part of your relationship. If you’ve got no sense of humour whatsoever, that’s a deal breaker — period. You’ve got to learn to laugh a little in life!
5. If he lies to you — about anything
Trust is probably one of the most important factors in any relationship. If you don’t trust someone, you’re never going to open up to them, to truly be intimate with them, to let them into your life. None of the best parts of a relationship will happen without trust. So, for most women, finding out that a guy is a big liar is a big deal breaker. It doesn’t even have to be about anything involving a woman or anything like that. Even if he lies about being at work when he’s actually going for drinks with friends, that’s a problem, because why not just tell the truth? If you find out that your guy lied about one thing, you immediately start to feel like you can’t trust a single word that comes out of their mouth.
4. If he calls you names/is verbally abusive
A lot of people see physical abuse as one of the worst things that can happen in a relationship, and it’s definitely a huge ‘leave him now’ issue. However, verbal abuse can often be just as bad — and it may even start out small. Perhaps a guy calls you stupid, or says you’re acting like a witch with a b. Then, he says it again a week later. Before you know it, you’re being insulted on the regular, and that’s not okay. Any kind of verbal abuse is an immediate deal breaker for most women, because… well, it’s abuse! There are plenty of men out there who will treat their woman like the queen she is, so why should she put up with that kind of unacceptable behaviour from a guy?
3. If he expects you to do everything for him
Most guys are aware that it’s a modern world and things are divided evenly now. That’s why, if you’re dating a guy who expects you to do every single thing around the house, from cleaning to cooking to washing his clothes, that’s a huge deal breaker. Chances are, both people in a relationship work — and work hard. So, it should be an equal split when it comes to all those pesky tasks that need to get done around the house. Sure, if one person loves to cook and the other person hates it, you can skew the food prep towards the aspiring chef. However, it should always be fair — no one wants to feel like their partner’s mother or domestic help. So, if he’s expecting you to wait on him hand and foot, that’s a deal breaker.
2. If he has a different opinion on children than yours
Relationships are all about compromise, and there’s a lot of things you can compromise on. Perhaps one person wants to live in an apartment and another person in the relationship would prefer a house; perhaps one loves going out and the other loves staying in. There are ways to make that kind of thing work. The one thing you can’t really compromise on, though, is children. If someone really wants to be a parent, not having a child will be devastating for them. And, on the other hand, if someone absolutely knows they don’t want children, they probably won’t be the best parent in the world. So, if you have the children discussion and find out that you’re on opposite ends of the spectrum, chances are, that’s going to be a deal breaker.
1. If he has bad hygiene
In a relationship, you often get up close and personal with your partner. Maybe you’re snuggling with them on the couch while you binge-watch your new show on Netflix, maybe you’re sitting next to them at dinner, or maybe you’re sharing a kiss or two. The point is, you’re in close proximity — which means it’s super gross if your partner smells, from their BO to their breath. We all get sweaty from time to time, that’s expected — but having bad hygiene in general, all the time? That’s a deal breaker. No one wants to hang around a smelly partner all the time. I mean, can you imagine going in for a kiss and being repelled by your partner’s awful breath? It’s one thing if your partner has some kind of a health issue they’re working on addressing, but if they’re just not willing to take the time to practice basic personal hygiene? Deal breaker.
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