Men in the past may want to find women who are quiet, submissive, and unopinionated, but that is certainly not the case now. Do you remember that quiet girl in your high school class who was always sitting in a corner, wearing practically the same style of clothing every day, and unable to comprehend the jokes you and your friends had been laughing about? Yes, that girl. Do you think she has a boyfriend now who cannot stand to be apart from her? Highly doubtful.
The truth is being quiet and acting all “prim and proper” and acting the role of a “perfect girlfriend” in front of your boyfriend may not exactly say, “Look I am a lady and you’re so lucky to have me,” but rather “Look I am so monotonous I can’t think of anything exciting.” Sadly, most women have no clue the message they are sending across when they behave a certain way. They might believe they are actually exerting effort to make the relationship work and keep their man interested but all they do is drive their boyfriends away – far away. You wouldn’t want to continue dating a guy who is boring you to death, right? How would you expect a man to stay if the woman he’s with drives him crazy for being dull and uninteresting?
If you want to know if there are things that you do that your boyfriend finds boring, read on. And if you are guilty, you might want to change it before it is too late.
15. “I am a queen” Attitude
While having confidence and high self-esteem is attractive, being a narcissist is a complete turn-off. Women who believe that the world revolves around them are boring. Do you think your boyfriend would be thrilled and excited listening to you talk about yourself constantly? While it may work in the beginning stage of your relationship as he tries to learn more about you, there is a saturation point to the topic: “Me, Myself, and I”. Do not forget that you are a couple and that means two of you are in a relationship, which means you should also focus on your partner so that he will feel loved and included. Studies reveal that people love talking about themselves. Use this wisely and to your advantage.
14. A real-life Wednesday Addams
Do you remember Wednesday Addams from the famous comic strip The Addams Family? Her character hardly shows any emotion. Her face is almost always a total blank. Wednesday is single and there’s a good chance she’ll stay that way, because women who can’t make people laugh or can’t laugh at jokes are boring. If you look in the mirror and sees someone that reminds you of Wednesday, you better start basking in the morning sunshine and catch that laughing virus ASAP! Studies suggest that men are naturally attracted to women who laugh at their jokes. Moreover, there is a study conducted by the University of Kansas, that showed how humor is key to developing a more long-lasting relationship. Ultimately, you better start laughing now, or cry later when your man ditches you for a girl with an awesome sense of humor.
13. Either talk too much or hear too little during a conversation, and nothing in between
Communication is a two-way street, a give-and-take process, which means you talk and the other person listens; then you listen while the other person talks. Unfortunately, there are women who can’t seem to find the perfect balance and end up being extremes. They talk incessantly without giving their partner the chance to speak, or they stay completely quiet and let their boyfriends do the talking. If you belong in this category, you should immediately learn the art of being a good conversationalist; otherwise, your significant other may get tired of you fast. Keep in mind that according to the American Psychological Association, communication is essential to healthy relationships.
12. Too predictable
The first thing that comes to mind when one thinks about “boring” is usually lack of variety or surprise. If you tend to follow a certain schedule all the time, and only do things that normal people would, then it is most likely that your boyfriend finds you boring. While carrying out a regular routine – going to places at the same time, eating the same food, doing the same things – may mean stability, it is burdensome if done excessively. If there is not more mystery and your boyfriend can predict your every move without fail, then he may not have anything to look forward to anymore. Couples in a relationship need variety, and to engage in exciting activities; as it has been proven to improve relationship quality as suggested by a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2000.
11. Lacks opinion
Imagine conversing and being with somebody who has no conviction. How would that be like? It would be similar to talking to yourself, since you wouldn’t get any reaction or any points that could lead to a more interesting discussion. If you have no opinion about anything, if you’re constantly depending on your partner to decide for you, there will certainly come a time when he will find you burdensome and uninteresting. If you do not have any beliefs that you want to fight for or argue in defence of, then there is hardly any point in talking with you.
10. Instead of trying to “wear other people’s shoes” she throws them away
People are naturally drawn to individuals who have empathy; those who can readily put themselves in someone else’s shoes. While women are presumed to be good empathizers, because of their innate ability to care, there are still a few who exclusively see things their way without exemption. Women who refuse to see or think from another person’s perspective is uninteresting, and even annoying. Girlfriends who lack empathy often couldn’t care less about other people. They are solely concern about themselves and what would satisfy them. A boyfriend with this kind of partner would most likely be attracted to another woman who can understand where he is coming from.
9. Keeps her circle completely closed
Apart from not being able to see things in a different light, girlfriends who bore their boyfriends tend to live in her own bubble, especially when conversing with others. They tend to talk in detail about the things they care about, without regard to the other person’s body language and opinion. Such girlfriends appear to live in their own bubble, and have no trouble talking nonstop; even if their boyfriends are no longer interested in what they are saying. If you find yourself talking most of the time when you are with your significant other on a date, or when you and your boyfriends are socializing with friends, there is a great chance that he is already getting bored with you.
8. Inability to tell a good story
Couples spend a lot of their time talking with each other.Especially those in long distance relationships whose only means of “spending time together” is conversing over the phone. This means that it is very important that you are able to hold a good conversation. If you are unable to tell a good story or keep a conversation interesting and witty, then it would be easy for your boyfriend to get bored with you. Exciting people know a lot of stimulating topics that keep the other person engaged. If you only talk about a single topic every time you’re with your boyfriend, it’s high time that you read and explore the world around you.
7. Keeps her mouth shut — all the time!
Women who like to stay quiet and hardly ever talks can bore their boyfriends the same way as girlfriends who keep on talking without listening can. A girlfriend who keeps his man excited and interested knows how to balance a conversation. She knows when to talk and when to listen. A boring girlfriend knows no such boundaries as she is usually on the extreme side of the spectrum. The time wherein being quiet is associated with being a “good girl” has long passed. Modern men tend to be attracted to women who are confident in speaking their minds.
6. An old dog who hates new tricks
If you are accustomed to doing things one way and unopen to changes or improvement, it would be easy for your partner to get tired of you easily. Individuals who do not contribute anything new to a relationship, or those who are tied down by routine and preparation, leaves no room for exciting surprises and excitement. If your boyfriend knows exactly what you are going to say and what you are going to do in every situation because you have your “role” and your “script” all carefully planned out, then it is not surprising if he finds somebody else more stimulating and interesting.
5. A true-blue scaredy-cat
Women who are scared about trying new things, or experiencing different things that life has to offer, are most likely boring and insecure. They are generally afraid of making mistakes, which is why they avoid any occasion where they will be placed outside of their comfort zone. Such girlfriends are chronic planners because they do not want to be caught off-guard. They should know what will happen and what they will do every waking moment, so they can be their “best self”. If you are too afraid to do anything, your boyfriend may eventually find you boring since your relationship would be too predictable and would lack thrill and adventure.
4. A cross between a wallflower and a wallpaper
According to professional matchmaker Samantha Daniels, a man wants to be with a woman who can stand on her own when they are socializing in public. This means that men do not want to feel burdened having someone who couldn’t even hold a conversation with another person, when he has to leave for a few minutes to go to the bathroom or get drinks. If you are clingy and looks pitiful when your boyfriend brings you to a night out with his friends or in his office party, you can be sure that he will later deem you uninteresting. While being an introvert is nothing to be sorry about, you should learn to be a functional extrovert at certain moments to keep your man happy.
3. Passionate about lack of passion
If you have nothing interesting going on in your life, or if there is hardly anything under the sun that you cared about apart from your boyfriend, you are most likely a boring person. Interesting and exciting people are passionate about something. They may argue with their boyfriend, or miss a date night to do something that involves what they loved most, but their partners still find them attractive because they have a sparkle in their eyes and they look alive! While it may seem flattering and ego-boosting for your boyfriend that you dote on him exclusively, the positive feeling would most likely fade over time since most men desire women who have interesting things going on in their lives.
2. Serious as a heart attack
Numerous studies suggest that men view humor as sexy, and dating experts also vow that women need to have a healthy dose of sense of humor to keep their partners interested. While there is no harm in being serious when the situation calls for it, taking things too seriously all the time can cause tension in a relationship. Humor is critical in a romantic relationship, not only so you can become an exciting girlfriend, but researchers have also found it to be a key element in having happier relationships. So, what are you waiting for? Erase that serious look on your face, and start wearing a smile and sending out laughter more often.
1. A constant rain on someone’s parade
Several studies about boredom which was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, revealed that a majority of individuals find people who are always negative to be the most boring. If you are always complaining, whining, and focusing on the negative side of things when you are with your boyfriend, there is a great chance that he is slowly realizing you are a tiresome person to be with. Instead of constantly talking about failures, mistakes, and woes, you should discuss enjoyable things, opportunities, and other positive things to keep your man engaged, in high spirits, and continuously by your side.
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