Going on dates is a fun way to get to know someone new. It’s nice to enjoy a good meal, enjoy good company, and end the night with a blossoming relationship or a solid friendship. On the flip side, however, not all dates are created equally. While a potential boo may seem totally amazing over text or through whatever dating app that is popular now, they may be nothing like that when it comes to the actual date. Through text and phone calls, it’s easy to mask the less than stellar parts of a personality. But, face to face it can be nearly impossible. So what are the options left when the date is a total flop and the thought of sitting through one more story about work or their pet lizard makes you want to jump out of your skin? The very helpful and totally useful excuses. Sure, it’s not the nicest or best way to end a date after agreeing to show up and have a good time. But, nowhere in date etiquette does it say that a person has to suffer through hours of dad jokes and absolutely no chemistry. These are graceful ways to be excused from a date without seeming like a total jerk but also not sacrificing the evening in the name of being polite.
15. Fake A Phone Call
During the first five minutes of a date, it can become quite evident that a date is going down the drain. Whether the other person eats like a horse during the meal or is as boring as watching paint dry, a terrible date that starts off bad has no hope in getting better. Once it becomes obvious that the person you’re on a date with is literally the worst and you’re trying to plot your exit, the easiest and best option is to fake an emergency phone call. As soon as the date starts, before you know if the date is going well or not, make it obvious that the cell is going on silent so the other person won’t be suspicious when it doesn’t ring. As soon as the date turn unbearable, grab for the phone and head to the restroom using the excuse that the call must be answered. Come back and tell the date that the call is an emergency but don’t specify and head out the door. Who can argue with a sudden emergency?
14. Excuse Yourself To The Restroom
First dates can be awkward as it’s an uncomfortable situation. Two people that don’t know each other that well are in an intimate situation trying to get to know each other for the first time. That just breeds awkwardness. With that being said, there are some red flags that clearly show that a first date is definitely not going to lead to a second or third. Whatever it may be, when those red flags become clear, then it’s time to leave as quickly as possible. The best exit plan is to casually excuse yourself to the restroom and while back there, find the nearest exit. Once you leave, shoot your date a text saying that something came up and add on a seemingly sincere apology. I’m certain that person won’t be interested in pursuing you after that.
13. Blame It On Work
When you are getting to know someone, the subject of work comes up. Before going on the first date, details about work, schedules, and availability should be not be outlined in great detail just in case you end up not liking the person once the first date rolls around. If you go out on the first date, that is when you choose to share more intimate details about your life like what you do for work and how demanding it is. If your date is a total ogre, revv up whatever it is you do for work and make it seem like you are literally the assistant to the president. Talk up your career like you had to practically beg your boss for the night off to even be there on the date. Before the waitress comes, make it clear that you have to wake up at the crack of dawn to finish a project that is super important and actually only have time for 1 drink. As soon as that drink is finished, jet out of there like you’re on fire and don’t look back.
12. Make Up An Illness
People make up excuses to get out of everything in life. Personally, if I really don’t want to do something and want to get out of it, the best excuse that literally is not one that anyone can argue with is that you are suddenly feeling ill. That can be a cold, a stomach issue, or some mysterious illness that just popped up out of nowhere and requires a night under the covers with reruns playing in the background. Most people won’t feel slighted if you say that you’re not feeling well. During a date, if you feel like the vibe is off or the attraction clearly is not there, start laying the foundation of a mysterious illness with a few coughs and sniffles to make it obvious that you aren’t feeling your best. When the moment is right, end the date early stating that you have been fighting a bug and have to dip out early.
11. Make An Exit Strategy Before The Date
If you are heading to your first date with someone that you met online or that you don’t know very well, it is honestly unknown how good or bad it is going to be. The person can be totally dreamy or absolutely repulsive. Either way, you need to be prepared for any outcome. You need to have cash on hand to pay for your drinks or meal, you need to have a ride home that is suitable whether you are intoxicated or not, and you need to have a solid exit strategy just in case your date is super creepy or nothing like you thought they’d be. Run your ideas by your friends and family to see what they think to narrow it down to the perfect exit move.
10. Start Yawning Before Your Meal Comes
Personally, if I am tired, you can go ahead and count me out of any plans you may have coming my way. I don’t care what it is, but if I am exhausted, I am not coming. When a friend or mate is tired during a get together, they are not any fun anyway. They aren’t as energetic or bright as they usually are because, well, they are tired. If you are heading into your first date and immediately start to feel that pinch in your heart that tells you to get out of there fast because it’s only going to get worse, start yawning as dramatically as possible. I’m talking award winning yawning that would be suitable for a big screen film. When your date takes notice, because they will take notice, apologize and profess how tired you are from a late night working or taking care of a litter of orphaned kittens; whatever seems feasible. Keep up the yawning and say that you have to jet because you simply aren’t going to be much fun as tired as you are.
9. Accidentally Trip Or Fall
For me, this probably wouldn’t be an accident as I am literally the clumsiest person on the planet. I have tripped and nearly tumbled so many times it’s ridiculous and many of those times, I’ve actually injured myself a bit. Well, at least enough to leave work early. If you are out on a date that feels like the longest day at work ever, excuse yourself for any reason. You can use the classic bathroom excuse or, if you are at a bar, say that you are heading to order another drink. On your way to or from, make it obvious that you tripped or stubbed your toe or something that is not actually going to hurt as bad as it looks like it did. If your date runs to your aid, tell them how your slight injury has dampened your evening and you’re just ready to call it and go home. Your date will feel bad that you hurt yourself and you will get to leave the dreadful date early.
8. Be Honest
I know, I know! Who wants to be honest and hurt someone’s feelings and feel like a jerk? No one does but if you are in a situation that feels like you need to get out of it as soon as possible, there is no time to worry about seeming like a jerk. There are bad dates that aren’t enjoyable or dates where you simply don’t vibe and then there are dates where you feel unsafe or like the other person could cross the line. In the latter situation, don’t worry about hurting someone else’s feelings over your own comfort and safety. Trust your instincts as that is what they are there for. Simply tell your date that you appreciate them asking you out but you don’t feel like you are compatible and wish them all the best. Yes, it will be uncomfortable. But it will feel so much better than having to sit at a dinner table with a date that you are slightly afraid of or creeped out by.
7. Can You Say Allergies?
I don’t care what time of year it is, allergies are all around us. From pollen in the spring time to the hand full of peanuts the chef tossed into your salad, there is an allergy for everyone. This goes back to not revealing every single detail about yourself before the first date comes as you might have let it slip that you have absolutely no allergies. In that case, this excuse would be both see through and embarrassing. If the season is right, make it clear that you have the worst allergies during that time of year. As the night goes on, let them know that you literally cannot take it anymore as you forgot your allergy meds at home and have to go. If the season is not right for that, order at least a drink or an appetizer and say that you are allergic to one of the ingredients. Whether it’s the sauce on the chicken wings or the strawberries used in your daiquiri, get creative. Make sure you don’t amplify it too much as your date might try to accompany you to the ER out of worry.
6. Bring A Friend Along
This seems crazy, of course. I mean, wouldn’t it be obvious that you walked into a date with your friend by your side? Well, not if it is done the right way. Let your friend know what is going on and come up with a signal that means that you need them to come to your aid during the date. They can sit at a table in the corner or at the bar within eye shot. Come up with a signal like dropping your napkin on the floor. Once that signal is let off, your friend can go outside or into the bathroom and call you as if it is an emergency. Make sure your phone’s ringer is turned on and the volume is turned up so your date can hear how frantic the call is. Whether it’s a personal issue or they just need you for something, make sure it is dramatic. Hang up the call and say you have to go as your friend is totally hysterical and needs you.
5. Create Secondary Plans You Forgot
This is not the nicest option but it is effective for sure. If you have an early evening date planned, this is a great option. Say you get to your date dressed in your best outfit, ready to mingle. But you get to your date only to be disappointed by how much you aren’t attracted to them or how off the vibe is. Either way, your brain immediately jumps to how you can bail gracefully without seeming like a total jerk. If the date is early enough in the evening, like around 6 pm, look at your watch 45 minutes into the date. Gasp at the time and say that you hadn’t realized how late it was and just remembered that you had made plans with your mom who is in from out of town. She lives across country or out of country if you are bold and you literally cannot reschedule with her. Apologize and be on your way as anyone should be able to understand that mom comes first.
4. Start Crying For No Apparent Reason
There is nothing that can make a date more awkward than random, awkward weeping over a plate of pasta. Crying on the first date is both strange and confusing, especially if it’s totally out of nowhere. However, it is a great way to get out of a date. While you are sitting at your table or taking a walk through the park or whatever you may be doing during your date, start to weep and sob all over the place. This tactic is honestly for the most disciplined and talented person as weeping and crying on demand is not the easiest thing to do but it’s not impossible. Honestly, if you make enough crying sounds and rock your shoulders back and forth enough, you may start to feel like you are actually sad about something. Midway through weeping, look up and tell your date that you just can’t tonight as you are going through a lot lately. Your date probably doesn’t know you well enough to dare ask you the details or to pry when you say it’s personal.
3. Be The Most Uninteresting Date
For some people, making up an excuse to leave a date is just asking too much. It’s understandable as you are hoping that your date doesn’t inquire further or insist on rescheduling. Moreover, you just don’t want to seem rude. Totally get it. But, a bad date is a bad date and no one should have to suffer through drinks, apps, and dinner with a chance of dessert with someone you just aren’t feeling. If you feel like making up an excuse, no matter how convincing, is just not your style, simply go with the boring route. Be the most unimpressed and uninterested date ever. Keep glancing at your phone and watch, sigh during awkward silences, answer questions in quick replies; do everything you can to turn your date off and they may be the one trying to bail on you early.
2. Claim To Be Having A Little TOO Much Fun
Going out for a super casual date that includes a few drinks at the bar and seeing where the night goes is not out of the ordinary. It is actually the perfect situation if you want to leave early. But even if you are at a more traditional date where you may consume alcohol, take it as the perfect set up to scoot out of there early if need be. First, before you even head out, ensure that you have cash and a way home if your date picked you up or if you drove and plan on drinking. That is essential if this excuse is going to work as your date is not going to allow you to drive home under the influence. Once you decide that the date is not your jam at all, order yourself a watered down drink or two but not more than that. While that is unlikely to make you feel drunk or out of control, your date doesn’t know how much alcohol you can handle. After your second drink, let them know that you haven’t drank in a while and you’re actually not feeling too hot and should probably hop in a taxi to go home. Pay for your drinks, call yourself a car, and roll on out of there.
1. Manufacture A Wardrobe Malfunction
I can only think of a few things that I would consider more embarrassing than a wardrobe malfunction on a date. Now, I don’t mean Superbowl style wardrobe issues but just getting a stain on your top or ripping your pants can really put a damper on the night. If your date is the stuff nightmares are made of, then a slight clothing mishap might be the perfect reason to bail out early. Hopefully you aren’t wearing your absolute favorite outfit as you might not want to stain it. But, if you can spare it, spill a bit a pasta sauce or wine onto your pants or top and become so distracted by it that you simply have to go home and change. Let your date know that while the date is going okay, you just don’t feel comfortable sitting with a huge spaghetti stain on your top.
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