Breakups are difficult. They take a lot out of each individual especially since time, money, feelings, friends and family were involved. You’ve not only lost the potential love of your life but with that person, you lost a friend and a confidant. Most times, it is like a part of you has gone missing and you often wonder, what’s next? Do you pick up the pieces of your life and move on without them? Or do you hold on to a glimmer of hope that old people usually say, “if you really love something, set it free? If it comes back it’s yours. If not, it was not meant to be”?
Sometimes, you just have to admit to yourself that your relationship has run its course and it is time to move on to possibly greener pastures. You also need to know when to let go because some relationships are just draining, toxic and totally unhealthy. It is good to exert a bit of effort and try again. But sometimes you also have to know when you need to stop trying. If you and your significant other have called it quits and you’re still holding a flame for them even after months and are willing to try again, these are some signs that your ex can’t move on with life without you.
15. Their Significant Other Is With Someone That Looks Like You
So, your ex has moved on. You run into them and their new significant other and s/he looks just like you. They have the same mannerisms, features, and almost the same style. You have to blink a few times to make sure it is not your lost twin, and your ex is uncomfortable knowing that you and their new significant other have both realized that he is not over you. How awkward for all parties involved. It is cool but it is also creepy knowing that s/he actively looked for someone who is just like you. Maybe Reggie Bush’s wife Lilit is blind, because everyone knows she looks like his ex Kim Kardashian. She is even Armenian just like Kim K. Everyone thinks it is a coincidence but it is unlikely one.
14. Their Social Media Posts Are Awkward
It would always be a mystery as to why people still have their exes on social media after a breakup. Is it because you want to torture yourself or do you just want your ex to see how good you are getting on without them? Whatever the reasoning, you know your ex is still interested in you when they post awkward things on social media. You also know that whatever they post falls right into your lap so it becomes super uncomfortable for everyone involved: your friends, family and you. Even if the posts are bitter, show regret and hatred, your ex is still interested in you. If they were not, their posts would not be depressed and they would not go out of their way to fire shots at you on social media with the intention of getting a response.
13. They Ask About Your Dating Life
Your ex may ask you about your dating life. If you are dating, your ex would possibly feel as if they do not stand a chance with you. If you’re not dating, there is a glimmer of hope that you are not over them so they may actively or passively pursue you. If you are dating or move on s/he is going to either pretend to be happy for you or point out the flaws in your new significant other. They may also compare themselves and accuse you of downgrading when you have possibly upgraded. If your ex gets jealous about it, s/he is definitely still interested and feels threatened by the thought of you dating someone else that is not her or him. People generally hate the idea of being replaced.
12. Failure To Tie Up Loose Ends
If you have broken up for months and your ex refuses to collect their stuff from you or set a date for you to drop it off although they insist that they will, your ex is obviously still interested in you. Any procrastination on your ex’s part is hope that you would get back together or change your mind. Usually, when someone is done with you, they come immediately to collect their stuff. If they have not done so or keep making excuses, either they are not ready to see you or they don’t want to face reality. If you are done though, get a box and pack your ex’s belongings, and you can store it someplace where you don’t have to see it until s/he decides to come for it. Threaten to throw it out and s/he may just show up for it.
11. Social Media Stalker
Social media can easily turn some people into stalkers. You and your ex have broken up but you know that s/he is still stalking you because they have not blocked you but they like everything that you have posted. Stalking means that s/he is doing it so obsessively that it is hard for them to keep what they have seen on social media out of idle chit-chat you may have if you bump into each other. So even if your ex does not like your posts or tweets, once your ex can reference something in your life that was post breakup, you’re being stalked and your ex is still interested in you.
10. They Want You Back
Initially when you break up, a few hours or days later, you may suffer from post breakup cognitive dissonance. This is perfectly normal. However, if after a few months’ time, your ex still wants you back, it could be that s/he realized that the grass wasn’t necessarily greener. Furthermore, it could just be that they miss you. Maybe you and your ex just needed time apart to grow as individuals and to learn about who you were without each other. A lot of couples break up and get back together and subsequently have a happily ever after. Just look at Kate Middleton and Prince William, Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, even Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber, although it is still to be seen if the later would actually last this time.
9. They Contact You
Some relationships end so poorly that you are forced to end all contact with your ex because having anything to do with them, even a friendship, can be chaotic and full of heartbreak. A natural response to this is to immediately block them from contacting you by phone, email and social media. Somehow despite all these blocks, your ex may still find a way to contact you – even if it is via post or delivering flowers to your office. The strange thing is they usually do these nice things when you are content with moving on with your life to cause conflicting feelings. It is almost as if they know the exact moment you have stopped thinking about them and intend to remind you that they still exist.
8. They Ask About You
Maybe s/he is genuinely concerned about your well-being and doesn’t want to contact you because of the way things ended between you or you blocked them so they can’t contact you. Usually, some couples may have mutual friends so when you break up, your friendships and associations don’t break up too. If you have a mutual friend or associate, a good one would not take sides but they would tell you when your ex asked for you. If your ex does not ask about you, then s/he is no longer interested in you or just doesn’t care. Again, it depends on how the relationship ended. Usually, if they do ask about you, especially months after, they still care and want to see if you have moved on. If you have not, they may think it is a good opportunity to reconnect.
7. Bring Up Old Memories
If you and your ex choose to remain friends and talk sometimes, they are still interested especially if they repeatedly bring up old memories. When s/he brings up old memories, it is almost as though they are playing with both your emotions. Most of the memories they choose to bring up would be the ones where you had a good time together and they would be reflective of the most memorable memories you had together as a couple. By doing this, they are just proving to you and anyone else that knows of your history that they are not over you and not ready to move on. They miss you and more than likely, if you will have them, they would be more than willing to come back to you.
6. They Apologize
If your ex apologizes repeatedly. It shows that s/he had time to think about how the relationship ended and accepts most of the responsibility. It could also be that they are being the bigger person or just that they are genuinely sorry and want another chance to make it up to you. Forgiveness is divine after all. You can forgive but never ever forget; it protects your heart and feelings. If you are going to accept the apology and take him or her back, think about it carefully. Usually, s/he wants back in the relationship, especially if they randomly bring up your break up and their role in it. If you are not into getting back with your ex, gently tell them up front or even in a song like Taylor Swift did, “We are never getting back together.”
5. They Flirt
If you run into your ex and s/he gives you compliments or chases you just like s/he did when you first met, then they are still interested in you. It could probably be that s/he is using the same tactic that won you over the first time to win you around again a second time. Usually, after serious breakups, women tend to do something different with their wardrobe or hair and guys may either work out more or eat better. If your ex notices these changes in you and compliments you on them, they are still interested. It is important to establish boundaries even after a breakup. If you like the flirting, it can be harmless and if it makes you uncomfortable, it is a good idea to establish the boundaries of your non-relationship.
4. They Ask About Your Family
It is one thing for your ex to ask about you but another to ask about your family. When you break up with your ex, they should know that your family broke up with them too and it is uncool for them to ask any personal questions about you unless you volunteer that information. It may just be a normal conversation but your ex may be public enemy number one depending on how the relationship ended. Asking these personal questions and details about your life makes them feel as though they are relevant and like they want to be a part of your life. Again, it slaps you in the face when you remember that you have a history with this person and you are always going to be connected. Any interest they have in your life just shows that they are interested in you.
3. They Want To Be Friends
Only a masochist would choose to be friends with someone who has hurt them repeatedly. Why would you accept a friendship with a significant other who hurt you in some way or other? Being a friend with an ex is a difficult thing, especially when you have to see them moving on. If your ex still insists on you being friends after a breakup, it is possible that s/he is keeping tabs on you or trying to prevent you from moving on. Being friends with your ex also gives you the added advantage of going to someone familiar when you have an urgent need that needs to be satisfied. An ex that still wants to be friends wants to keep you in their life, because they are not ready to move on and accept that you are no longer a part of their routine.
2. They Talk About Their Achievements
When your ex talks about their achievements or what they have done post breakup, it is possible that s/he is looking for approval. Maybe s/he was working towards a promotion or s/he procrastinated doing something and actually got it done. They want you to see that they are trying, they are successful and you can be part of their achievements. If they were not interested in you, then why would they feel the need to brag about their achievements or accomplishments to you? It could be that they want to make you jealous or want to make you want to be a part of their upward trajectory. The only people you should show excitement to and are willing to share the good news with are the ones you care about.
1. You Just Know
Sometimes gut instinct tops all the outward signs you may be seeking. Social interactions with your ex post breakup and even months after can give the impression that they are still interested, especially if s/he insists that you be friends and there is no reason for you to be friends. The best thing to do is to cut your losses. But if you sense non-verbal affirmations that your ex is still interested, the adult thing to do would be to have a conversation about it. The worst response they could have is refuse your request. It may disappoint you but at least you asked before making a fool out of yourself. If you are not over your ex and s/he hasn’t moved on, it is possible that they are probably not over you too.
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