We all have that one friend who’s dating the absolute jerk, and of course he won’t break up with her because he knows he definitely can’t do any better. All you want to do is shake your friend and scream, what is wrong with you? Why don’t you see that he’s using you and treating you like crap? Why can’t you see that you can do so much better! Obviously we’ve all been in that relationship before, as you’re reading this, you’re thinking of that guy you should have dumped way before you actually did.
It’s not easy to break up a strong couple, but let’s face it, they’re not a strong couple at all, he’s probably just manipulative and she doesn’t want to start over. There are certain signs that show a girl isn’t happy in a relationship. The warning signs include: being distant (if she’s missed the last 4 girls’ nights when she used to be the one planning them), if she’s always irritable or overall annoyed, and definitely if they’re spending less and less time together. A good boyfriend should bring out the best in you. Meddling is definitely not good, but it’s tough just seeing your friend miserable and not doing anything about it.
If you can’t think of a way to get your friend out of this toxic relationship, we’re here to help you out! Here are 15 Ways To Get Her To Break Up With Him:
15. Show Her That There’s Better Out There
People will stay in a relationship because they think this is as good as it gets, but show her that it’s not! So many people break up with their partners when they see how their friends are being treated by THEIR partners and that they too can have that if they move on. We always compare ourselves with people; what we have, where we are in life, and of course how we’re being treated. If she hangs out too much with his loser friends who treat their girlfriends or wives the same way she may think it’s normal, so bring her away from that environment and surround her with people in healthy relationships.
14. Take Her Out
She probably thinks that she can’t be happy without him, but once she starts going out and realizes that she can have a good time no problem, she’ll be dumping him soon enough! We’ve all dated that one person thinking that once the relationship is over, life is just not worth living, yet we’ve all moved on to much (much) better things in life and we look back at our past selves and laugh. Show her that she actually has a better time without him and that he’s the one holding her back! Maybe she is just waiting for that little nudge, but remember that you can’t rescue someone who doesn’t want to be rescued.
13. Show Her He’s A Cheater
If you know that he’s a cheater, prove it to her! There are many ways to prove a guy is a cheater, from snooping in his phone for her, to asking a friend he doesn’t know to go flirt with him and catch him red handed. If she doesn’t believe he was cheating on her, the truth will hurt, but everyday she stays in a relationship with a cheater, it will only hurt more the day it all comes crashing down. Cheaters don’t change! Be prepared for the fact that he will try to weasel his way back into her life. There isn’t much you can do except be there for her and show her lots of support so she doesn’t feel like she needs him.
12. Make A List
If she comes to you and expresses that she’s unsure about her relationship, make a good old list of pros and cons. If you ask your girlfriend why she’s with him and she can’t come up with a solid answer, she’ll realize it’s time to really question that relationship! People can be in denial all they want, but once you put things in writing, it’s hard not to face the truth. Be supportive and don’t be pushy. Create a safe environment so she feels comfortable enough that she can talk to you about anything without you being judgemental. Don’t make a decision for her because the last thing you need is to break up with him before she is mentally ready, then she ends up resenting you, or worse, getting back together with him!
11. Intervention Time
If you see something is horribly wrong, it’s time to say something. Gather your group of friends and take her out and tell her how you all truly feel. Obviously you should be ready for her to freak out and be defensive, that is very normal. You can even consult a professional so you don’t say or do something that will drive her into his arms; that’s the last thing you need. Make sure you don’t have too many people, and only people she trusts and loves, and definitely don’t attack her, but rather talk to her about your concerns.
10. Get Her Out Of Their Comfort Zone
People get comfortable, and they stay in relationships just out of habit; they start thinking, ugh, am I really going to start over again? Take your girlfriend out, introduce her to new people, and just get her out of her comfort zone. One she gets out, sees that her happiness isn’t attached to that miserable relationship she’ll dump him in no time. It’s normal if she is resistant in the beginning, but friends don’t let friends date D-bags so stay persistent! Getting her out of her comfort zone can also mean having her open up about her relationship and how she truly feels by getting her to loosen up, but make sure you don’t push too much at once or you’ll scare her away.
9. Start Planting Seeds
If you say anything straight up attacking him, you might push her to him even more so just plants seeds here and there. For example, if she tells you a story about him always ignoring her calls you can something like “well that’s not nice, he should always be there for you.” Soon enough she will realize that she is not in a healthy relationship and that what he’s doing is not normal. It’s easy to doubt yourself and think well maybe I’m too sensitive, or maybe I need to try harder at making him happy. When a girl sees that you’re supporting her instead of calling her crazy or dramatic, she’ll stand strong.
8. Be Honest, But Don’t Be Pushy
She needs to come up with the conclusion that he’s not good on her own, so be encouraging and present but not too pushy. Don’t say things like “You haven’t broken up with him yet?” or “When are you going to dump that loser?” If you push too much she might start distancing herself from you because she feels judged every time she sees you and that’s the last thing you need. If she asks how you feel about him or what you think of their relationship, make sure you’re honest, but not too insulting. You can say “I don’t think what he did was very nice” or “A man should always be available for his girl in her time of need.”
7. Bring Up The Serious Issues They Haven’t Talked About
There are certain things a couple should talk about before completely committing to each other: if you want to get married, if you want to have kids, where to live, and the list can go on. If you know that he doesn’t want kids and she is dying for at least two, bring that up with her so she knows that there are serious issues that need to be discussed and if she compromises she’ll have to give that up for the rest of her life. We all have deal breakers; make her talk about hers and point out if he doesn’t share the same opinion or doesn’t have the same vision as her.
6. Get Personal & Share Your Similar Experience
Share your experiences with her. If you’ve been in a horrible relationship share that story (especially if you’ve moved on and are now with someone fabulous!) She probably needs comfort and needs to know that she’ll be ok if she dumps him, that she won’t be lonely for the rest of her life and she’ll forget him before she knows it. When people are in a horrible relationship they think they are the only ones going through that experience so they don’t speak up. Many times when people are in a toxic relationship, they are too embarrassed to admit it or call it quits because it means they have failed at finding a good partner or making their relationship work.
5. Get A New Hobby Together
She could be staying with him out of habit or out of the fact that there’s no one else to hang out with and nothing else to do. Think about something you’ve always wanted to do, maybe a class you wanted to go together like pole dancing or zumba! In any case, she probably forgot what a healthy relationship feels like and you need to remind her that there is more time life than that loser. They say a devil loves an idle mind, so the last thing she needs is an empty mind where horrible thoughts are bouncing around.
4. Go Out With A Group Of Friends & Introduce Her To A Nice Guy
When we go through a horrible relationship, usually our biggest fear is that we won’t find someone else, that we’ll end up alone and miserable while everyone around us moves on. We also tend to think that maybe we’re the problem and maybe we need to stop being too sensitive, too nagging, too clingy, or too opinionated. There are so many other nice guys out there and once your friend sees that, she’ll realize that she’s isn’t the problem at all. Once she is introduced to a guy that makes her laugh and she remembers what it’s like to have a fun and healthy relationship, she will realize that she doesn’t need that guy.
3. Boost Her Self Confidence
If she’s been in that toxic relationship for a while then her self-esteem is probably destroyed and she has no self confidence. She probably doesn’t think that’ll she’ll find someone even better because that what is she deserves. There are so many ways to boost a girl’s self confidence: you can go out on a shopping spree and buy some sexy clothes, or start working out and get yourself and her a hot body, or get a new haircut! Help her leave the old, wounded her behind and begin a new chapter. Don’t forget that small compliments here and there make the biggest difference!
2. Take A Fun Road Trip
Something as simple as taking a weekend off and renting a chalet with close girlfriends can make the biggest difference. Having fun with the girls in a new place that reminds her that life is so much more than just dating this guy and staying in this terrible relationship is crucial! A weekend getaway with music, drinks, chick flicks, and junk food is a lot more powerful than we all think. A fun weekend like that also shows that no matter what happens your girls have your back and they’ll be with you through thick and thin. Remember that it all comes down to support, and showing her that she won’t be alone.
1. Show Her Support
Girls tend to stay with their boyfriends because they feel they have no one else. Sadly sometimes when a girl starts dating a new boy, she’ll distance herself from everyone else and it can be very easy for her to lose her friends over that. If you feel like your friend is going through trouble, be there for her, she might stay with that jerk because she feels like she will be alone and miserable if she dumps him. Let your friend know that you will be there for her, to take her out, to have sleepovers, and to make sure she enjoys a good old girls’ night, because let’s face it, there is nothing that karaoke with the girls can’t fix.
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