In the wonderful world of dating, texting is a key part of getting to know each other. The flirty back and forth exchanges are an integral part of getting to know your potential soulmate. It’s so important that it can make or break it. Smartphones allow us to share pictures of our day at the click of a button. While most people might take pictures of their lunch, their pets or a cute mirror selfie, others can go completely overboard and misjudge their audiences.
Pictures speak a thousand words, and in some cases people should have remained silent as a mouse. It’s a misconception that guys are the worst offenders when it comes to sending inappropriate or weird pictures…in reality, girls are just as bad. There’s nothing like an image to show every aspect of someone’s personality. Some are hot…some are most definitely not, and border on creepy AF.
I’ve wormed out some of the most disturbing images that women have sent men for your viewing pleasure. Not only can we marvel at why ladies ever thought these were a good idea, but we can also have a good old fashioned laugh at how quirky we all are. After all, if we were all completely sane, wouldn’t life be dull?
Let’s get started.
15. DO YOU LIKE MY SAW?
There’s nothing that screams, ‘I will cut you in half if you ever so much as look at another woman, Darrell’ than sending a guy a picture dressed like you’re going to war – or a survivalist retreat. There’s something about this photo that is so…uneven. Cute girl, sexy glasses and yet, lots of bullets, giant sword/saw. How would you feel if your latest Tinder catch sent you a picture like this after the first date? Definitely brings a different meaning to ‘get you a girl that can do both’. I’m not sure I’m into it. I’ll swipe left if that’s okay.
14. I’M FLYING MA
Let’s give this girl points for ingenuity. Rather than send the obligatory cute selfie in front of a full length mirror, she’s gone the whole hog, thrown caution to the wind and (presumably) taken an action shot while she jumps on a trampoline. Let’s hope it’s a trampoline, anyway, and not a snap taken as she leaps from the balcony to demonstrate how much she’s ‘falling’ for you. The best part about this photo? The look of sheer purpose on her face. Lips pouting, eyes wide – SHE JUST LOVES YOU, AND WANTS EVERYONE TO KNOW HOW HAPPY SHE IS. SHE’S NOT CRAZY, OKAY?!
13. LOOK WHAT I CAN DO
It’s important to find a girl that can satisfy your needs. You need to find them attractive, but they also need to be intellectually stimulating. They need to have something about them, you know? That’s exactly what this girl is going for. She can go to the bar and get drinks for you and all your friends, carrying the beverages on her breasts is just the show stopping finale. If she spills them, who cares? You’ve got your very own wet t-shirt contest. Some people sing, dance or are so well read they can recite the Declaration of Independence off by heart. Not this girl. She brings something quite unique to the table.
12. NEED A HAND?
Your mother warned you about alternative girls. She said that tattoos and piercings were the sign of the devil. You ignored her outdated attitude and pursued that girl from the office, and look what happened. One drink and she’s sending you her particular version of a boudoir shoot, complete with more arms and legs than you can shake a stick at. Now what are you going to do when she turns up to your mother’s house on Sunday? Hope she doesn’t burst into flames while your father says grace? It’s all a giant mess, and the photograph was just the beginning. May the Lord be with you.
11. A PICTURE SPEAKS A THOUSAND WORDS
It’s really nice when the girl you’re seeing takes an interest in what you’re into isn’t it? Especially when they take it literally. So when you tell a girl that you love music, you can pray that she’s as dedicated to your needs as these girls. In an ideal world, she follows suit and dons a bikini made out of speakers, even roping her friend in for the cause. If that doesn’t make a beautiful melody, then I don’t know what will. One thing is for sure, if she willingly goes to these lengths, then get yourself to Tiffany’s as soon as your feet will carry you – she’s the marrying kind (but also, nuts).
10. GONE FISHING
There are lots of different types of girls in this world. All are amazing and talented in their own way – glorious in their diversity. Some are girly girls, who find excitement in getting their nails done and spending an afternoon at the salon. That’s cool. Whatever floats their boats. Others are more adventurous, opting for a more outdoorsy approach – like fishing. When there’s a combination of beauty and sportsmanship, that is worth more than the deadliest catch to some guys. Can you imagine receiving this snap? This is a prime example of a great catch in every sense of the word, if it doesn’t completely freak you out first.
9. WISH YOU WERE HERE
Girls. In their underwear. Holding a giant inflatable can of Kopparberg Cider – and, it’s pear. This is the kind of photograph that dreams are made of – although it does make it seem like all of the stereotypical theories about girls, pillow fights, sleepovers and underwear are true. Apparently for these girls it is, but for most of us sleepovers consist of baggy t-shirts, messy buns and watching Mean Girls for the millionth time while wondering how beautiful young Lindsay Lohan became such a wreck. I’m sorry if that ruins your fantasy, but I wouldn’t be surprised if directly after this photo everyone was drooling into their pillows, fast asleep by 11pm.
8. YEP, THAT’S A BAZOOKA
Are you the type of guy (or girl) that finds hot girls with weapons sexy? When you say ‘show me your bazookas’ do you mean it in the literal sense? If the answer is a resounding yes, then this is the girl for you. Unfortunately, I have no idea who she is so can’t hook you up, but if I’ve learnt one thing from this article it’s that there are an enormous amount of girls who just love holding a big fat weapon (get your minds out of the gutter). It shouldn’t be too hard for you to find a machete wielding beauty out there, get to Tinder-ing, waste no time! Go and find your combat Barbie.
7. THE ARTSY TYPE
The artsy type is avante garde, probably recently graduated from college and taking a year out to ‘find themselves’. In the meantime, they’re hoping you’ll find them too – hiding under a very conspicuous multi-coloured blanket. When this pops up on your phone, what on earth will you think? Possibly that it’s another one of Violet’s (you know she’ll have a name like Violet) performance pieces. However disturbing it is, it’s also weirdly attractive and dare we say it – sexy. There’s something about leaving everything to the imagination that’s particularly inviting in things like this. Namely, it enables you to imagine it’s someone else.
6. JUST TRYING TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS, BRO
You just had your first argument and your new girlfriend has stormed out, heading to the club to work out her rage on the dance floor. Then, hours later you receive this gem. Not only has she stripped off to that leopard print bikini you bought her for that weekend in Cabo, she’s also all over some clown (in the literal sense). If it helps, it looks like the clown wants to be anywhere but there at that exact moment. Let’s face it, her tattoo sucked and you hate leopard prints anyway, so who’s loss is it? Not yours. Clowns are also freaky AF so it’s probably best you nip this in the bud before KoKo turns up in a jealous rage.
5. LITTLE MISS PIGGIES
Sometimes, a girl wants the kind of love that lasts forever. The kind of tumultuous love that keeps you on your toes, keeps you excited and keeps that spark in your relationship – just like Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog. When you’re that dedicated and determined to get what you want, there’s nothing like giving your new man a clear message. Sending him a picture of you and your bestie in a pig masks is only going to be a good thing, right?! Surely it won’t make you look like a potential serial killer or bunny boiler… Nothing like being a straight shooter, eh?
4. MY PROFILE PICTURE IS RECENT, HONEST
When you find a potential soulmate on a dating site, it can be easy to get over excited pretty quickly. When they’ve got photographs in dodgy light, or of a partial part of their face, you’re perfectly within your rights to ask for a full face recent shot. After all, how many times have we gone on that date just to be met with someone who looks NOTHING like what we thought? When the girl does oblige and send you a photo…it can often go from bad to worse in a heartbeat. They can be a little too over enthusiastic on the cosmetic front, or just not your type. Either way, we’ve all been there. Some more frequently than others.
3. SHOW ME YOUR UNDERWEAR
As we’ve previously seen, there are some lovely ladies out there who are so enthusiastic and eager to please that they’ll go the extra mile to prove their love. Asking your significant other what colour underwear they’re wearing to help pass your day at work probably isn’t usually met with an over0the-top response like this photo. It’s a gem, that’s for sure – and is more like a fashion show of thongs than a sexy pic, but hey, if that’s what you’re into. Maybe she’s just trying to give you the choice of what you may see later on in the bedroom? Answers on a postcard.
2. A WHOLE LOT OF LOVE
Do you remember back in 2005 when MySpace was still a thing and Facebook wasn’t even on our radar? It was the year of the emo, who literally bled love. Women have sent men love notes since the dawn of time – and vice versa. However, has anyone ever written it in eyeliner on a sanitary pad before this shot? It’s debatable, and we can only hope it hasn’t been done since. I feel like there is a hidden message here. I love you so much it hurts just like my monthly menstruation? I wish you were as close to my vagina as this pad? I’m not crazy enough to figure it out, and I’m not sure I want to.
1. SHE JUST WANTS TO CLOWN AROUND WITH YOU
Cosplay is quite the “in” thing. A quick flick through Instagram brings up zillions of profiles of dedicated people who go the extra mile to look identical to their favourite characters…or is that just my Instagram? Either way, people are into it. If your girl is…make sure she’s actually good at it, and her version of cosplay isn’t just shaving her head like Britney circa 2007 and shoving a load of clown paint on her face. That is, unless your sexual fantasy is to be in a real life version of the Rob Zombie movie, House Of A 1,000 Corpses.
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