Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. What that means is that the sexes think differently and as such are prone to making errors of communication, and sometimes those errors of communication can lead to hilarious results that would split the sides of the toughest Internet warrior, one so jaded by the deadliness of the online battlefield that he wonders if he could ever laugh again…

But what if they weren’t misunderstandings? What if they were just men being absolute smart alecks in the most hilariously ridicules ways possible? The sheer amount of effort that some of these men went through in order to troll and annoy their significant others is just amazing. Sometimes the things they do are as simple as writing a note, which can is still incredibly gutsy, to performing projects that can take hours upon hours set up properly, and some serious skill on top of that.

And so, we at The Clever have spent countless hours sifting through examples of these to give you the 15 most creative (or scathing) attempts by men who love creatively misinterpreting what women want.

15. He could not have been serious

I have to admit, this got a major chuckle out of me. His girlfriend was asking for a tea that contains natural laxatives for her… well, you know what issue laxatives treat, but he instead got her a tea that was not only not what she was looking for, but the brand name couldn’t have been funnier. For those who don’t know, Morning Thunder is an archaic, 19^th century slang term for farting, but not any farts, they’re the farts that the gentleman of the house would perform in relative privacy of his chambers in the morning. So he did want to give her some relief, by using laughter as the best medicine. Except he kind of forgot that it is best used in addition to actual medicine.

14. Those are some potatoes…

She told him to get six potatoes. That couldn’t have been a simpler instruction. Except either the grocery store was short on potatoes, or the guy decided that that he wanted to see how creative his girlfriend could be when using less ingredients than normal. You have to admit that this is kind of funny. He isn’t technically wrong, I mean he did get 6 potatoes, but having the sixth one be the size of a marble that looks like it could be the bratty half-pint character in a superhero team show… wait! I got it! We should totally do that. Make a show about superheroic potatoes that save the world from potassium deficiency! We can call it Mighty Munching Power Potatoes!

13. I guess he kept everything…under wraps

There are people who take things literally when they shouldn’t, and then there’s people who show off some seriously mad skills with wrapping things. I wonder just how good he would be during Christmas time when the family is either too poor or too cheap to buy presents for people (or in the tear jerking case, both), and instead just have him wrap up facsimiles of the toys in question in hopes that their Tiny Tim-esque children would be content would those, and look longingly at the houses of the middle class kids who have actual toys. This is clearly a plot for a future communist uprising! We must find out who this smart aleck is and put a stop to his dastardly ploy!

12. Smart Aleck of the year award goes to…

While this would normally be followed up with another meme of the WWII soldier hold up a coffee cup saying ‘and here’s a nice cup of shut the hell up’ to follow up with this nonexistent meal. But I need to commend this guy on finding the ultimate way of making his girlfriend make up her mind on what she wants for dinner. If ‘I don’t care’ is on a menu item, this would be it. Unless Mr. Smarty Pants is an actual cook. Then he can actually invent a recipe that’s called ‘I don’t care’ with equally nonsensical ingredients. Then he can submit this to the Food Network, which would become so phenomenal they will rename themselves the Farce Network and make him the star of everything… or not.

11. Well he did fix it…sort of…

So toilets, at least modern ones, need a way of flushing away the daily business. Otherwise they are worse than the chamber pots of old that are not considered to be the nicest things to have around, but they were necessary for centuries, if not even longer. But when that essential flushing part breaks down, you’re left with a problem. Now as the men of the house, we must be gadget geniuses. We must be able to MacGyver our way out of any situation with scotch tape, a drinking straw, and a Swiss army knife. This man did exactly that, but in a way that transformed his bathroom from a place of rest and meditation to a place so ghetto even Fred Sanford wouldn’t want to be in it. Nice fixing it, buddy…

10. The Bat Signal has really gone to seed…

This gentleman was asked to mow the lawn on the request of a certain lady that also happen to be the wife of someone with the capacity to pat his back (which is only a few inches away from a kick in the trump followed by ‘YOU’RE FIRED’ in a manner that even Donald Trump couldn’t give justice to). So what did he decide to do? Apparently he hated doing it so much that he figured that Batman should come and save him, but without a bat signal, all he could do is just is mow lawn in a rather elaborate pattern to look exactly like the Batman logo. Maybe he was hoping that Batman would see him from the skies, or maybe he was hoping to get fired and then go for a career in landscape design, I don’t know. Either way this is one guy who just couldn’t get that simple request done without complicating it in the most epic manner possible.

9. The most famous cooks in the world are men…

Think of the biggest and most famous chefs in the world. Not those who are on TV catering to the domestic sphere, I’m talking about the big league professionals here. They tend to be men. Your average guy in a nice domesticated environment will transform into a slob who couldn’t make a good cup of coffee without boiling the grinds down to a nice fine paste that would be ill-suited for a Russian gulag gang, even if they are themselves 3-star Michelin chefs when they’re working. Of course the result of this can be seen above, when putting pasta on the stove is followed quite literally. It would likely result in much frustration for the woman and snarky embarrassment for the man when he has to sleep on the couch again.

8. I… have nothing to say

I’m not going to lie about this. But I have absolutely no idea what is going on here. This man’s wife asked him to leave the Christmas lights on the window and he arranged them to spell the word ‘dog’ and then has his own dog just sit there looking as confused as we are at this whole spectacle. I have nothing to say about this, but I am required to type something per entry here. So I’m just going to repeat how utterly baffled I am at this man’s mental state until I’ve met my word quota or something… and we’re done. I hope you found it half amusing.

7. This man has been embarrassingly wrong too many times…

Look at the sheer amount of effort that this woman went through in order to sort out what each food item is and what each item goes with and when it must be eaten. She did all of this for her man so he can eat something when she is gone… but either she has absolutely no faith in her boyfriend/husband in order to make his own decisions on what to eat, or he’s so helpless at cooking that he probably aluminum foiled up his microwave too many times and is on the watch list of every fire department in the country. I wonder just how many accidents or creative misinterpretations of basic cooking instructions he had to make in order for his girlfriend/wife to make all this. He is probably good at fixing toilets though…

6. Don’t know if he’s genius, dumb, or smart aleck…

So according to the source, this man’s dear lady friend asked him to cut the sandwich in half, and this was the result of that incredibly simple request. I’m honestly not sure if he was deliberately playing a joke on her, actually didn’t know how to cut a sandwich properly in half, so he ended up doing this. Or he’s a genius who just likes to make everything a puzzle… or maybe he knew that the contents of the sandwich weren’t evenly spread, so he wanted to make it more fair. Either way, this would probably result in more than one conversation between the couple.

5. This man just doesn’t get it…

So you know about how when men find the girl of their dreams, the logical next step is to get a diamond ring and put it on her ring finger (after she agrees to his proposal, of course) and then they would embark on their happy-ever-after of them sitting around a dank apartment, smoking cigarettes and drinking cheap beer. Romantic, isn’t it? Well not to this guy, who apparently thought that his girlfriend could use a nice diamond ring gift, but was perfectly clear about not wanting to marry her. That is honestly one massively scathing note to find on something so polished. Either he had no idea what he was doing, or he knew EXACTLY what he was doing, and I don’t know which is worse…

4. He needs glasses

There are rules, both written and unwritten (and mostly unwritten) on what to say and what not to say to women, and among them is that you do not say that they look like ugly people or ugly characters. In this case, I have absolutely no idea why he choose a cartoon starfish from a cult classic cartoon show that she doesn’t resemble in any way. This guy would have had to have been so intoxicated to make that leap of logic he would need to have fallen into a vat of Jack Daniel’s distillation pot and then rolled around in Tony Montana’s cocaine pile. Either way I wonder if he’s going to get any cuddle time with this lady after that statement.

3. I would make a certain joke, but it won’t make it here…

 

Here we have an example of a man who is embarrassingly wrong about where his affections should be at that moment in time. Sure he’s in a passionate embrace with his lover, but apparently he has another furry companion right behind her that he can’t wait to embrace after his girl. Again, there is a joke here about what is on his mind, but I can’t say it. It wouldn’t be SFW, and while it would be hilarious, I don’t think my editor would approve, so I’m just going to leave you with the mystery of what it is… and that involves cats, and slang terms for them, and what men like about those.

2. Another literal minded simpleton…or another smart aleck

Well, it looks like this guy has finally found the girl of his dreams. He’s found the one and only girl that he will ever want for life. She is one of the few girls that would be labeled a ‘keeper’ and he found her, ladies and gentlemen, and now she’s going to be the goal keeper of his next soccer match and she’ll never let any of the balls enter her goalpost. Wait, did you guys think we meant that figuratively? Well neither did this guy apparently, who thought he’d be playing a funny joke on his girl and then probably gotten dumped for it. I guess she might not be his keeper for long.

1. Player hater…but not THAT kind of player…

You know when some rappers say ‘these people are playa haters’ in response to the way people get angry at them when they’re with a lot of women and unceremoniously dump them the moment they find someone they think is better or simply when the novelty wears off? Well they clearly weren’t comprehensive enough. There’s a reason why hardcore gamers are stereotyped as lonely guys in their mother’s basement, because even when they have a girlfriend who really wants to talk to them and ask for a simple compliment, their nerdy passions outweigh all others, leading to scenarios like this. It is left to be discovered whether or not this will lead to their breakup and he needs to retreat back to the realms of wizardry to escape the reality of faux pas and embarrassments.