So many men out there consider themselves “nice guys”. but can’t get a date or keep a girlfriend. Instead of bashing women, they should take a look at themselves and the mistakes they might be making. We are not saying that the women are never at fault, but it is often that the men just aren’t good at dating. This list features 15 things guys do on first dates that are total turn-offs to women. They may not even realize they are doing them! Most important is the conversation: don’t brag or get down on yourself, show an interest in her, and for God’s sake, keep your ex out of it! You should also be respectful to your date and others by being on time and kind to everyone you interact with. Use your best table manners and keep your eyes on your date, not on your phone or on the other good looking girls in the restaurant. Do not forget to actually make an effort! Your date did a lot of prep for you, so do the same for her! Keep reading for 15 first date mistakes that guarantee you will never go out with that girl again.
15. Talking About Your Ex
If there is one thing you should never, ever do on a first date, it’s talk about your ex. It can be hard to move on, especially if you broke up just a short while ago, but avoid bringing her up. Your date will feel threatened, intimidated, and just plain awkward. She will also see you as clingy and/or not ready to get on with your love life. If you feel yourself starting to bring up your ex, simply cut her out of the story. That cool bar you used to frequent with your GF is now just your favorite bar. When your date asks if you’ve been to Mexico, say yes but don’t bring up the fact that it was with your ex. It’s that simple!
14. Doing Weird Body Habits
Everyone has kooky habits, but when you’re on a first date, try to suppress them. Cracking your knuckles and tapping your feet show how nervous you are and can frankly get annoying to those around you. You might even make your date nervous by fidgeting so much! Even worse are gross body habits like biting your nails, picking your nose, or constantly adjusting your “man area.” If you feel the need to do something gross, use good table manners and excuse yourself to the bathroom. Going on a date with a new person can be scary and make it hard not to fidget, but try your hardest not to.
13. Being Too Forward
With so many stories of assault and harassment in the news, take extra note of this one! Consent is everything, especially when you don’t know someone very well. Even if it feels weird, ask before giving your date a kiss goodnight or something more. Whether you just met or you have been sexting for weeks before your first date, stick to more appropriate conversations at dinner, too. What she felt comfortable talking about on the phone she might not want to discuss out in public. Let your date lead the way to show her you are a gentleman who is willing to wait.
12. Not Asking Questions
We all love to talk about ourselves, I get it. But when you are on a first date and want to impress the girl, ask her questions! Not just stuff like “Did you catch season 2 of Stranger Things?” But real questions about herself. Her job, her college, her pets, her friends, her hobbies. All of these things will help you get to know her and make a possible connection with her, too. Just don’t go overboard. Keep the conversation flowing naturally, adding in some relevant stories about yourself, too. No one likes to feel like they’re being interviewed on a date!
11. Behaving And Acting Rude
Not being rude to your date is an obvious one, but apply the same courtesies to everyone you come in contact with. You never know who you’re going to have to see again someday and it’s just common courtesy! Use your manners and act kindly towards waiters, bartenders, taxi/Uber drivers, and random people you meet on the street. Treating service people badly will make you seem like an entitled a-hole and no woman is attracted to that. A simple smile and a “thank you” will go a long way. You will probably get better service and your date will see what a nice guy you are!
10. Drinking Too Much
Drinking alcohol is an important part of a first date. It relaxes you and lets you actually enjoy yourself instead of being all nervous. But stick to a 2 drink maximum rule. This might seem like nothing at all, especially if you drink often, but it’s for the best. You will be fun without getting sloppy, aggressive, argumentative, or whatever your drunk persona is. Getting wasted on a first date isn’t a good look and won’t impress your date. She will either think you are childish, have no self control, or are trying to drown out how much you hate being on the date with her.
9. Arriving Late To The Date
No. Just no. First impressions are everything! If you are late for the first date, it doesn’t give your date good vibes. She was probably scared you had stood her up, so don’t be surprised if she’s a bit cold to you during the date. Even worse is if you get there late and don’t apologize. That tells your date that your time is more valuable than hers. Chances are she’ll think you are rude and probably won’t go out with you again. Pro tip: transportation is not a good excuse for lateness. The bus was late? You should have left yourself more time to get there. You got a flat tire? Learn to change it using the spare, you poor excuse for a man!
8. Staying Glued To Your Phone
Who would even think this is ok? A first date is the time to get to know someone. How can you expect to do that if your eyes are glued to your phone the entire evening? Keep your attention on your date and the conversation to show her that you really want to be there. Every woman loves being the center of her man’s attention, so it will score you major points! Save your social media scrolling for bathroom trips and save answering texts until you get home. Anyone worth your time probably knows you’re out on a date and can wait a few hours.
7. Constant Bragging
This isn’t a job interview, it’s a first date! It’s ok to briefly bring up an accomplishment if it’s recent (like a new job or promotion you’re celebrating), or comes up naturally in conversation (you both won sports scholarships in college). But gratuitous bragging is a major turn-off. Women like to hear about your positive traits, but go too far and you will just seem like a pompous jerk. The more you brag, the more she will wonder what you are compensating for! Instead, stay humble and let her find out how great you are on her own.
6. Being Too Self-Deprecating
On the other side of the coin, bringing up all your flaws on the first date is a huge no-no. It makes you seem sad and not confident in yourself. Let her find out for herself! There is nothing wrong with saying you are bad at something if it comes up in conversation (like she loves bowling and you couldn’t hit a pin to save your life). But randomly talking about major stuff like how you can’t hold a job, or you haven’t had much luck in the dating scene will just turn her off. There is a huge difference between being humble and putting yourself down.
5. Calling Her “Babe”
It might be tempting to call your attractive date by a term of endearment, but trust us. Don’t do it. No “sweetie,” “baby,” “honey,” or anything like that. First of all, it feels really forward. You two just started going out and it might freak your date out that you are trying to claim her as exclusively yours by calling her a pet name. Wait until you define the relationship to refer to her this way. Many men also call women by these sorts of names as a way to belittle them. Even if you don’t mean it that way, your date might feel like you are disrespecting her. Keep it simple and call her by the name she was born with.
4. Using Bad Table Manners
You are a grown-ass man, so act like one at the table! It’s so easy to use good table manners but when you don’t the impact is huge. No girl likes a slob, plain and simple. Don’t slurp your food. Wipe your mouth. Keep your napkin on your lap. Try not to get crumbs everywhere. Keep your elbows off the table. Chew with your mouth closed and don’t talk while you eat. Remember all those things your mom hounded you about when you were a kid? Do all of them and you’ll set yourself apart from the man-children your date has gone out with.
3. Checking Out Other Women
Yes, even if it is just the first date! We realize that you want to “keep your options open,” but you shouldn’t be actively on the prowl when you are out with someone. If you can’t even keep your attention solely on your date for a few hours, she definitely can’t imagine a lifetime with you. You obviously thought she was good enough to ask out, so make sure she’s the only girl you check out that evening. If you know you have wandering eyes, take her to a bowling alley, the movies, or some other place where there are no scantily-clad waitresses to gawk at.
2. Not Dressing Up
No one expects you to turn up in a tux, but look like you put at least a little effort in! Wearing a nice (ironed!) shirt and stylish jeans is perfect, unless you’re taking her out to a really fancy place. Carefully choosing your outfit, smelling nice, and fixing your hair is more appreciated by women than you could ever know. Ladies are expected to do TONS of prep before a date with their makeup, clothes, hair, etc., so putting in even half the work she does will have her falling head over heels. Leave the schlubby look for later in the relationship.
1. When You Start Man-Splaining
Nothing makes a woman recoil faster than the man-splain. If you don’t know what it is, man-splaining is when a man acts like a know-it-all; correcting anything a woman says even if she is more of an expert on the subject than he is. While you may think you are showing off how smart you are, you are probably just making yourself seem like a jerk! A good tip is to always avoid starting a sentence with the phrase “Well, actually . . .” Instead, listen actively to what your date has to say. She might teach you something cool!
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