A person needs to curtail or curb one’s natural instincts especially when someone is around. But do you feel that the same is required when the same person is all alone? Nah, not at all! One can totally be at ease when alone. Do you not know how to dance, yet wish to dance as it thrills you to the core? You’ll definitely be one of those who dance when alone or taking a shower. It’s all a matter of perception. When there is no one to judge you, you become ‘you’, the real you.
And the world is not unaware of this fact. Various jokes and memes have been made about people who thought that they were alone and did ‘stuff’ only to feel embarrassed on realizing that they weren’t. Ludicrous is the fact that when women are made the butt of these jokes, the fun gets augmented. It is because women bear an aura of sophistication around them, and when holes can be seen through it, people feel amazed. Have you ever seen or heard a women fart? No? What if you are told that she does and in fact she enjoys it? So let’s not waste more time in divulging any more secrets and take you into the secret world of women. Take a look at these 15 freaky things that a woman does when she is all alone and pass on the fun.
15. She knows all of Victoria’s Secrets
No audience, but it is okay, she will definitely take the floor. It’s time for her to flaunt her lingerie collection and the mirror will be her jury. She struts around and checks out her curves, “OMG, am I too hot?” and then she ponders out load with a giggle. But the situation is incomplete, she feels that something is missing that could have lent a glorifying aura to her ‘more than perfect’ ramp walk. Yes, a catchy song! That’s it and soon enough, the stereo is blazing all guns! Now, can you imagine your girl walking around the house like a lingerie model? Now you might, because you’ve been into her and all of her drawers, but don’t get excited, she will never let you enjoy her fashion show, it’s one of her private luxuries which she’d like to keep private.
14. The Suspicion Machine
No doubt, she loves you a lot. She can share anything with others, but not her husband’s love. Sometimes her over-possessiveness persuades her to check your wardrobe and personal computer when you are away. She even reads your personal diary and peeps into the recycle bin on your computer just to make sure that you are not having an extramarital affair. Some women even go to the extent of smelling their hubby’s shirt and ridiculously look for lipstick marks! Do you find her welcoming you with a beautiful smile when you return home? Convey your thanks to the universe because you are still a loyal husband in her eyes. And yeah, try to remain the same forever.
13. Ms. Stuff-a-Lot
Everyone loves food, but women are too disciplined when it comes to having food in front of others. They will never sacrifice her sophisticated aura in public, even for their favourite dessert. If you are observant enough, you’ll easily be able to find out such women. But are they the same when no one is around? No, they love eating! And that too in a style that tells a totally different story! Don’t be surprised, your wife is also one such woman. When you are not around she cooks some spicy food, and you will never get a share of it. In some families, men insist that the women follow a strict dietary regime in order to protect them from obesity. In such cases, women consume too much when there is no one to see.
12. Reading Hot Literature
“Everyone, no matter how refined, has a stash of porn,” said the well-known author Tinnean. And it’s high time that we accept it, just like men, women too enjoy dirty books, magazines and movies. Since the early ages, society has imposed many restrictions on a woman’s freedom and watching dirty movies was considered not a socially acceptable behaviour. Such stereotypes badly affect the sexual desires of women. However, no one can stop them from watching what they want to watch. Multiple studies have proven that women too like dirty videos and most of them regularly watch adult movies. If a woman watches porn it doesn’t mean that her hubby is not satisfying her sexual needs, it just means she likes to watch it once in awhile.
11. The Midas Touch
“Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it’s a cure,” said Thomas Szasz, a fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. Society has been and still judges masturbation with a biased outlook. However, studies have proven that masturbation has some great benefits for the body. For example, it helps in releasing the pent-up energy, but everything must have a limit. Of course, women enjoy touching themselves and it’s not a sin. To some extent, it will help them in pleasing their mind and it’s also a very good physical exercise. Let her enjoy her happy time all alone if she wants. And nevertheless, you’ll always be there to titillate her!
10. BFF – Bitching Friends Forever
Women love to gossip about their in-laws and husband, but they can’t do that when all of them are living under the same roof. So, when she is a lonely cat at home she unleashes her phone and calls her bestie, just to bitch about her husband. Some women find speaking to a friend very uncomfortable when their husband is around because their talk includes a number of secrets. Usually, husbands hate to see their wife gossiping around with another woman. He might ask her not to gossip around, and she might nod her head. But that would only be for his satisfaction as she’ll begin her bitching as soon as she can!
9. Glamour Diva
Do you feel sad to leave your wife all alone at home? You wish you could have done something for that? Don’t worry, she is very efficient and has found the perfect time pass for herself. She is busy watching Kylie Jenner’s makeup tutorial on YouTube. She experiments with all those make-up tips at home and that excites her to the core. In fact, she wants to know how to look sexier and impress her husband/boyfriend with her beauty. You may be wondering why she can’t learn makeup skills when her hubby is home. Well that is because some husbands criticize their wives for spending too much time in front of the mirror, so the poor dear has no other option but to work on it in his absence.
8. Selfie Obsessed Even When Alone At Home
Men follow hot ladies on social media just to check out their hot selfies. But they have no idea what their wife does with her selfie camera when she is all alone at home. Yes, she is a selfie queen who can give a tough competition to Kim Kardashian. She poses in her hot lingerie, and sometimes in a bath towel too! Why? They simply want to know how seductive they are. There are women who get naked for a selfie and land up in deep trouble when such pics reach the social media. You might have seen plenty of hot selfies on Instagram. In fact, few women have become famous for selfies that are taken during their lonely time.
7. She Likes To Cry By Herself
She has mood swings just like every other human being. But it might take a bad turn when she is alone. Since there is no one around to divert her mind, she starts thinking too much about her past and tears begins to roll down her cute cheeks. Her mind rewinds those memories that are too private to be shared. For example, it may be about her love life or something that happened in her childhood. Sometimes, she wears a mask of happiness and releases her tears when there is no one to notice her tears. She consoles and relaxes in this way and there is nothing wrong in crying.
6. Home-Alone equals Booze-Alone
Women enjoy partying all alone. In fact, to have a party you neither need a reason nor people. A husband often goes on business trips, and his wife spends her night all alone. So, who can possibly keep her company? She wears a party dress and brings out ‘that’ single malt scotch that you had stored in the bar for special occasions and the party begins! Until midnight she dances to her favourite music and there is no one to stop her. The well-known musician Henry Rollins was right when he said, “Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.” Don’t you agree with him?
5. To fart or not to fart
“I burp, I fart. I’m a real woman.” Do you know who made this bold statement? It was Kate Winslet, one of the beautiful ladies world has ever seen. Women get very uncomfortable when it comes to speaking about farting. Some women turn on the shower while farting inside the bathroom just to hide the “noise” from others. Of course, it’s not a pleasant topic to discuss, so they avoid it. Ludicrous is the fact that women really enjoy farting. In fact, it’s good for their health! Some research studies have proven that a healthy person farts at least 14 times in a day. Women never hide a fart when there is no one around to make fun of them. They can fart louder when they are alone and that’s the height of enjoying freedom.
4. Queen of the Bathroom
Oh, she is the least bothered to check whether her bathroom doors are closed or open when she is under the shower. In fact, she prefers keeping them open. It’s a kind of freedom that she really desires to enjoy. There is no fear that someone will come and see her taking a bath, except her cute kitten no one is lucky enough! She can spend more time in the bathroom and that makes her feel awesome. Usually, her husband or boyfriend shouts at her if she stays in the bathroom for too long. So, when she is all alone she will be the queen of the bathroom, and she is happy to come out in a towel or even naked!
3. She Likes To Express Herself In Her Diary
You may never find your wife writing a diary. But every year she asks you to buy a diary for her? So, it’s clear that entries in the diary must be made on an almost regular basis. But when? Simple, when she’s all alone. She completes the task when you are out for work. Her diary knows all of her secrets, perhaps she has kept it like a jewel. Every day it comes out once, when she’s alone at home. Sometimes, she sits back with a cup of tea and turns the pages of her personal diary, it reminds her of the happiest moments that she spent and also some of the more unforgettable incidents. For her, writing and reading is something like looking into her soul, and she would prefer to do that while alone.
2. Walking down memory lane
Women are one of the most beautiful creatures that inhabit the earth. They are sensitive, lovable and kind hearted. No one has given and neither can give the perfect definition to the word “woman”. You have no idea how adorable a wife is. Sometimes, she shouts at her husband, she irritates him way too much and may behave like a witch, but deep inside, her husband is her world. She has nothing but lots and lots of love and concern for him. Dreaming of the future that she shares with you is something that makes her feel like she is on cloud nine. She opens your wedding album and those little gifts you gave her pop up. This is the best thing she always likes to do when you are not around, women are angels!
1. Flight of Fantasy
It’s not possible for everyone to become a celebrity, but there is nothing wrong in imitating one! Yes, women do that and your girl is touched by this too. She has a list of her favourite celebrities whom she loves to imitate when there is no one around. She makes some sexy dance moves to her favourite songs. Some women cross all borders and they act as if they are attending a talk show! That will be so much fun unless she has no sense of humour. Are you really excited to see all this? Please don’t peep through the window, she may feel highly embarrassed. It’s her privacy and you must respect it.
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