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15 Large Cars For Guys With Small Packages

15 Large Cars For Guys With Small Packages

When you think about guys and their packages, what comes to mind in regards to the size of the vehicle that they drive? I know, I know, the largest vehicle driven by guys with small packages is a UPS or FedEx truck, right? But I know exactly where your mind just went. Lets explore that notion for a bit. Do men truly try and over-compensate for their small package by driving a large vehicle? If you answered, “yes”, then you are correct. But, does size really matter when a man selects his personal vehicle?

According to a study conducted in 2015 it does. In fact, men with “Small Penis Syndrome” (SPS) tend to purchase larger vehicles to over-compensate for the fact that their packages aren’t as large as they’d hoped. This study, by the National Research, has determined that men who drive large trucks, SUVs, and automobiles have smaller penises than men who drive smaller makes and models. The study, conducted on 350 males nationwide, lasted for three months. Through the study, they determined national average sizes of genitalia leveled in at 5.5 inches. So what are the top 15 large vehicles for the fellas with small packages? We’ve done the research and have the list for you here. Ladies, does your man drive any of the vehicles listed below?

15. Chevrolet Suburban

One of the most popular Sports Utility Vehicles (SUV) available is the Chevrolet Suburban. This vehicle packs a punch with the ability to haul a large load. This suburban vehicle used to come with cloth seating. It also seats up to eight passengers with room to pack gear in the back. Now-a-days, though, the suburban is more likely known as the “Soccer Mom” vehicle.

What does it say about your man driving this SUV? He is most likely trying to over-compensate for something. He may be a larger guy who needs the room for himself but checking down in the lower regions of his anatomy would leave any lady disappointed. Think about it. You see a very large vehicle, a tall and bigger gentleman, and you assume he is packing heat between his legs. Think again before assuming.

14. Mercedes S-Class

The Mercedes S Class is your typical sugar daddy vehicle. This car shows off the driver’s bank account, or, what he wants you to think about his bank roll, anyway. It also suggests that the size of his bank account definitely does not match the roll of quarters in his pocket. However, these men are stylish and successful. The majority of the women this driver attracts is in her late 30’s and early 40’s who enjoy being taken care of financially.

Although this is a very nice vehicle the man driving it most likely has a delusion of themselves being bigger “down there” because their vehicle is very attractive. So when you see a Mercedes S Class pull up next to you with a middle aged dude wearing ray bans think twice before asking for his digits if size matters to you.

13. Ford F350 Super Duty Dually

It’s not uncommon knowledge that women prefer men who drive a pick-up truck. Now we aren’t stating that all men who drive a pick-up truck have small penis syndrome. But, really, how big does a guy’s truck have to be? You see trucks rolling around that are lifted to heights even the tallest heels can’t reach to climb into. Or they have huge tires that make the truck resemble a monster truck. Some trucks even come with more bells and whistles.

These include slider bars, roll bars, large fog lights, tinted windows, and a decal sticker like “No Fear”, etc. Most men who fix their trucks up in this way give the average Joe a bad rap. Most guys with decent careers as plumbers, electricians, or HVAC company employees all drive a truck due to the nature of their jobs. But the “Big Boys” pick-up trucks are definitely trying to impress the ladies with their rides. And, they can’t accessorize their junk in their pants so why not maximize their truck.

12. Hummer

By driving a humongous vehicle like a Hummer, the guy is screaming, “Hey, focus on my Hummer and not on my penis size!” A Hummer is the ultimate Sports Utility Vehicle that packs all the power and room that any smaller dude would want. Despite what a Hummer was truly built for, like off-road driving and rock crawling, most men keep all dirt as far away from them as possible.

These vehicles are definitely for show. And the driver’s goal is to be a show stopper for interested women. You may get excited when you see an eligible man driving a Hummer. But when things lead to the bedroom excitement, you just may find yourself greatly disappointed. Hummer’s come with all they hype except for what’s below the belt of the driver.

11. Mustang V8

Mustang V8’s are typically driven fast and loudly blaring horrible rap music. If you encounter a man driving a car like this beware, he is trying to seem much bigger and tougher than he really is. Mustangs are the least expensive style of a sports car. In fact, lot of middle aged guys will purchase this vehicle because of its affordability. These drivers are essentially trying to hold onto their youth.

Besides the smaller appendage, he most likely has a ton of other baggage he is bringing into any relationship. This is due to the fact that he is probably going through a nasty divorce or has been demoted at work. With attempts to fluff his own ego he went out and bought himself a loud and fast sports car. And, went for the least expensive option.

10. Mustang V6

Same scenario as above except the driver of this car is typically aged between 16 and 30. Still packing the smaller version of Mr. Joy and less to offer prospective candidates during courtship. If you are considering going out with a guy who drives a mustang V6, consider his age and employment status.

This goes along with measuring all aspects of his manhood. When you are seeking out a mate you want the best of the best. A good career, a nice vehicle, good between the sheets, and a terrific personality. You gamble your chances of obtaining all of these qualities when considering someone driving this particular vehicle.

9. Mercedes Maybach S600

Do we need to even say anything here? So, the driver of this car has the money to spare but has little or no style to match his bank account. Imagine this monstrous thing speeding down your street. There is something so obnoxious and showy about this car that it speaks volumes about the man who would even contemplate buying this, let alone owning it. Clearly he is compensating for his short-comings. If you can look beyond the gaudified bling this car is actually very decent looking with excellent mechanics to match. This is a perfect instance of the adage that it’s not what’s on the outside, but what’s on the inside that matters.

8. Chevy Silverado 1500

According to GM Authority, 574,876 Chevy Silverado trucks were sold in 2016. That’s pretty impressive granted this is one of the most popular pick-up trucks sold every year. More popular in the country western scene, these trucks do not eliminate drivers of small packages. Drivers of all sizes are attracted to this vehicle. Although this is true, it goes without saying that probably 80% of the drivers have an issue with the size of their penis.

Most big boy trucks are fancy, resourceful, and hold several passengers. You may have also dated someone who drove one of these pick-up trucks. Was your experience in the bedroom as exciting as their truck looks? Or were you left disappointed with a so-so lover who had a so-so package size?

7. Corvette

Corvettes are widely known for their sex appeal. But what about their owners? Tall, dark, and handsome only goes so far when we are talking about size and how it really does matter. In a recent poll found on a website forum for Corvette drivers and fans 62 men listed their penis size in inches. Looking at the poll, a whopping 52% of these Corvette owners claim they are over 18″ long.

Yeah right, come on now. It’s probably more like 18 millimeters long. This poll goes to show that not only do men have a complex about their itty bittys but they go as far as embellishing and displaying their false sense of reality on a public poll posted on the web. So ladies, if you are fine with the bling ride and a smaller riding experience between the sheets then a Corvette owner is the guy for you.

6. Grand Jeep Cherokee

The Jeep Grand Cherokee is very popular amongst pop-culture and trend followers. Most drivers of the Jeep Grand Cherokee are in their mid twenties to late thirty’s. These guys often have loud after-market sound systems installed and dark tinted windows. With the goals of attracting the honeys they may not be aware of just how silly they actually look in their pimped out rides.

First and foremost, guys driving a supped-up Jeep, that is not going to be used for off-road drives, are definitely trying to look way cooler than they really are. This also gives a red flag for young men over-compensating for smaller penises. They may even have penis envy. I dated a guy who added mud tires, a lift kit, slider bars, a safari rack, the sound system, you name it! And guess what, not one piece of dirt was on his vehicle, and yes, his penis was less than 5″ long.

5. BMW X1

According to U.S. News, the BMW X1 is one of the best cars for the “cool Dads” out there. No minivans here on the list of vehicles Dad’s prefer to drive. Yeah, sure, the BMW X1 is an ultimate chick magnet. But what if there are kids in the car? Is it uncommon these days to find single men with ready made families? The possibility is there, but what does driving a BMW X1 say about the owner of the vehicle?

Is he also trying to boost his ego and make an impression on the ladies? Does driving this bad ass Sports Utility Vehicle give the appearance of having a larger joy stick? It goes without saying that male buyers of this vehicle chose this model for a reason. Would’t a minivan provide the same basics needed to haul around the kids and any tend to his errands along his commute? In the same light, this would all be accomplished in a much more affordable option.

4. Dodge Charger

Considering that the Dodge Charger as a midsize car, it is however designed for big guys, and you get the idea. Big door openings, big comfy seats, and all sorts of head and legroom make the Dodge Charger a large-guy ride. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they are large from head to toe. With this sporty car’s good looks and loud aggressive engine, it’s definitely an attention grabber.

Newer models are even considered to be more economical. This is due to the better gas mileage than other sporty type vehicles. If you are looking for a man who is savvy with his finances, and he’s big and tall, you have a 50/50 chance his entire anatomy rises to the occasion.

3. Audi R8

The Business Insider magazine reports that this year’s 12 top vehicles competing in the “Best Driver’s Car of the Year 2016” consisted of several top of the line vehicles. Although the McLaren won this year’s award, the Audi R8 didn’t come up short. But, what comes up short is the Audi driver’s inseam. Although the Audi R8 is a super classy and sexy car, it doesn’t mean that the owners of this luxury/sports car match the same caliber.

All Audi models are popular amongst most younger and middle-aged men. Similar to the Mustang V8 listed above, this is another mid-life crisis car on the wish list of many men internationally. A man driving this vehicle is definitely trying to boost his own ego and gain attention, but for all the wrong reasons. As misleading as it may be, these guys are trying to boost the thought of having a larger friend along their inseams.

2. Chevrolet Tahoe

There’s this theory out there that all big and tall people should buy items to compliment their big and tall lives. The Chevrolet Tahoe is another larger vehicle known for its leg room and sports utility abilities. What may be a shock to you is that driving this biggie sized SUV doesn’t biggie size your package, no matter how bad you want to express that notion.

Most men driving one of these are actually short – from head to toe and everywhere in-between. Although this SUV comes equipped with a bold style and powerful performance, this may not be the case for those behind the wheel. But hey, some say that dynamite comes in small packages. Are you willing to risk the “what if” aspect?

1. Nissan Frontier

There also exists an indirect relation between the lift in a truck and the size of the owner’s penis – meaning that as the size of the lift increases, the penis size decreases. Although the relationship is often speculated by much of the world’s population, the proof is in the pudding. Nissan Frontier owners are known for adding exuberant lifts and springs to the truck.

So, if this truck has a high lift the driver has a small penis. And, the higher the lift, the smaller the driver’s appendage. Men who add a high lift to their truck have no legitimate reason other than adding an aggressive look to their vehicle. Their goal is to appear manly and tough due to the reality of their family jewels not meeting even their own standards.


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