Breakups are never fun. They literally have the word “break” in their name, and that’s usually how you feel: broken. You cry and wish the person would come back to you. But after you have finally moved on from your ex, you probably want to cut them out of your life forever. So what happens when the person you used to date, tries to slide back into your DMs? These 15 people had the perfect responses. You can almost feel the heat off of these epic burns from here! Some of these comebacks are downright mean, while others show a more casual dislike, or even disinterest for their former fling. Some turned rude words back around on their ex, and some clapped back using a perfect setup the person handed to them. Many of them do not use words at all. Instead, in true millennial style, these spurned lovers rely on emojis, memes, reaction photos, gifs, and screen shots from pop culture favorites, to do the talking for them. I honestly wish I could be friends with each and every one of these amazingly petty people because they are so funny. Read on for 15 hilariously petty comebacks people served to their exes.
15. Ooooo, Burn!
You have to give this person credit. At least they were trying to be friendly and asked a genuine question to their ex, rather than hitting them with a generic booty call. However, this spurned girlfriend was not having any of it. She is clearly still bitter about the breakup, and is not about to help her ex in any way. Instead of suggesting restaurants and attractions, she decided to tell her former boyfriend exactly where he needs to go. She wanted to give him the most literal “burn” possible. This is the pettiest one-word comeback I have ever seen!
14. Too Good For You
Some people just have a knack for coming up with hilarious and petty comebacks off the top of their heads. Even better, though, is when someone, like this person’s ex, sets you up for the perfect burn. Whether she knew that he would send her the “what’s up”, and was waiting for it or she came up with it on her own, this former girlfriend should have her own comedy show. My favorite part about this exchange, is that she responded at all. When she got that “hey,” this girl was so excited to burn her ex with a fire comeback that she replied to a text she probably should have just ignored. Savage!
13. Fighting Fire With Fire
Getting into a fight with an ex, or soon to be ex, is not uncommon. Anyone can come up with hurtful words and insults to make the other person feel bad, but some people can come up with wittier ways to argue. This person took a rude comment hurled at them and turned it back around on their jerk of an ex. She accomplishes a lot in just one short sentence. She shows she has moved on and up, plus tells the ex exactly what she thinks of him. I would hate to get in a fight with this petty person!
12. I’ve Made A Huge Mistake
This savage comeback is another great example of turning someone’s words back on them. This person got a nasty text from their ex, basically saying they never should have dated. As if that could make her feel bad! Rather than crying or getting mad, she casually responded with a hilarious burn. Its combination of the classic “yo mama” joke format and telling the person they should never have been born makes for the ultimate in funny and petty comebacks. Good for her! Because the read receipts are on, I wonder what the person had to say in response, because nothing could beat this!
11. A Real Slice
When someone you do not like (whether you have dated them before or not) keeps bothering you, there are only so many ways to tell them “no.” You can let them down easy, be rude, or simply ignore them. This text, however, shows a fourth option that is pretty darn petty but in a subtle way. Instead of being flat-out mean, she told her ex what is really number one in her heart, and it is definitely not him! Nothing can make her happy the way pizza does. I wish I could be this person’s friend because she seems hilarious!
10. Total Eclipse Of The Heart
This is by far one of the most petty comebacks on this entire list! After receiving just a simple “Hey,” this person could have simply ignored their ex, if they no longer wanted to be in contact with them. Instead, this girl came back with a seemingly cute reply. When her ex took the bait, she whipped out the most wild burn imaginable. Plus she used science, which shows she is both smart and funny. The ex was clearly not impressed, though. I wonder what person on the other end of this conversation did to deserve such a savage response!
9. Classic Simon
In this text conversation, we get two petty replies for the price of one! First, the person tries to put off their annoying ex by showing they have moved on, and pretending they do not know who the other person is. When that did not deter the ex, she was forced to break out a classic Simon Cowell American Idol response. You have to admit, that the ex was at least being nice and seems serious about reconciling. But if someone does not want to be with you anymore, leave with grace and dignity. Hopefully the person finally got the hint!
8. I Love Me
Oh, the classic double text. This ex could not even be bothered to think of a new sentiment. Instead, he just copy and pasted the exact same text two days in a row, hoping for a response. When he got one, it was petty as can be! This former girlfriend shows that she is independent and loves herself enough, it doesn’t matter if anyone else loves her. Especially if it probably is not so much love than lust. The icing on the cake is of course, the amazing photo of James Franco kissing himself in the mirror. Yes to all of this.
7. Too Late
Cutting off all contact with someone you no longer want to date, is the easiest way to move on with your life. That is why it is super annoying when they keep trying to hit you up. This person obviously stopped communicating with their ex, but the ex keeps trying to be nosy about what is going on in her life. Rather than give in and update her ex on what she has been up to since their breakup, this person puts a funny twist on his question instead. Get the hint, dude; she would rather be dead than talk to you!
6. Off The Charts
Using cultural references from TV and movies (like Eleven here) adds a little extra humor, and pettiness to a comeback. Not only are you burning them, they also have to understand the reference to get it. If they don’t know it, you are forcing them to look up their own insult, which is majorly savage! The person who sent this text clearly knows they messed up. Why else would you ask someone how much they hate you, and be ok with such a brutal answer? I wish I knew what they did to cause such literally off the charts levels of anger!
5. Big Plans
Regardless of who broke up with who or why, it’s best to stay away from your ex after you call it quits. This person thought so too, and was not afraid to tell her ex just that! Post-breakup booty calls do nothing but confuse the body and mind. You will either feel bad about yourself or wish you could get back together with them, when all they probably wanted is a hookup. And you never know how many other people they might be messaging at the same time. Throw some shade like this person, and tell your ex you’re busy from now on!
4. Lost My Appetite
This person was lucky enough to have her ex move out of town. Hurray for no awkward run-ins in public, or the temptation to get back together that proximity often brings! Now that he is back, though, this mouthbreather wants to grab a bite to eat. Rather than coming up with a million excuses for why she isn’t available to do this or that, this savage person made one sarcastic statement that shut the ex down for good. She’d rather give up a basic human need than hang out with you, dude! Who knew you could say so much in just three words.
3. Channeling Spongebob
Reacting with memes is so millennial! I for one live for it. They make you laugh when you are in an awkward situation, and are somehow more insulting to the other person than anything you could come up with on your own. When his ex tried to win him back with the classic yet noncommittal “I miss you” line, this smarty had no time for it. This person decided to turn to everyone’s favorite childhood cartoon, Spongebob Squarepants, for the perfect comeback line. Is it a little immature? Yes? Is it hilarious? Darn right. Cartoon burns for the win!
2. Jay-Z Joker
Most of us have a collection of reaction gifs and photos on deck in our phones, to use as the perfect responses to messages. When this person got hit up by their ex, she knew just what to do. She could have ignored him, and gotten a million more annoying and rude messages until she replied. She could have responded with an excuse, and not been able to shake him after that. She could have clapped back and been called mean names in response. Instead, she let Jay-Z’s disgusted face do the talking. Hilarious, classy, and definitely gets the message across!
1. No Words
Sometimes we don’t need words to express our feelings; especially in the era of emojis! When this person received a message full of hearts, she gave the person a taste of their own medicine. Nothing says “leave me alone”, and “you’re toxic” like a bunch of surgical mask emojis. Whether or not you like the person, if they can’t be bothered to write how they really feel about you in words, they are not worth your time! If you aren’t into them, even worse. This clever person showed her ex exactly what she thought of them without a single word.
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