America, the land of the brave. Canada, The Great White North. Both on the same land mass, connected – but they couldn’t be more different. It’s no secret that Americans are proudly patriotic, flying the flag every chance they get, and proudly singing their national anthem at any opportune moment…but if we really delve into the two countries, isn’t Canada just better?
We’re not trying to ruffle any feathers here, but we just can’t argue with the facts. Sure, both places have their plus points, but when we look at the things that really matter, Canada just comes out on top. From maple syrup, to skiing, and even the WonderBra, America has a lot to live up to and it simply can’t compete. If you’re Canadian, you’re going to love this, and wholeheartedly agree. If you’re an American, don’t waste time arguing – just pack your suitcase and head for the airport. A better life awaits you across the boarder!
Don’t hate us – hate the facts. Happy reading, eh!
15. THE CANDY BARS ARE BETTER
If there’s one thing that American’s are proud of, it’s their country’s ability to produce some of the best candy in the entire world. Think about it – when you think of America, you think of Snickers, Goobers, Candy Corn and all sorts of other delicious treats. But, here’s the thing – America doesn’t have Caramilk, Big Turk, Crispy Crunch or Eat More! These delicacies are reserved solely for Canadians, and they love them; just as much as they love trekking in the snow and Celine Dion. Let’s face it, food is a big part of any country’s identity, and Canada isn’t giving up without a fight.
Sure, America has Las Vegas, but does it have Montreal? No sir! One of the French speaking parts of Canada, Montreal is just a few short hours from Toronto. What’s it like having a slice of Paris in your own country? Reddit user JJ said of the city, ‘It’s awesome. If you want to go on vacation in your own country, then there’s nowhere better than Montreal. It has all of the best strip clubs, bars and eateries, plus the atmosphere is awesome. We love it.’ If you’re feeling a little jealous, don’t worry. So are we. Luckily, there’s a plethora of amazing hotels in Montreal too, so don’t waste time and book your trip today. Hell, why not even move there? You wouldn’t be the first to jump ship and leave the U.S!
13. STATISTICALLY SAFER
Okay, we know America is bigger and all, but it also has way higher crime rates – roughly five times more than Canada! With atrocities like aggravated assault or robbery way more commonplace in the U.S, is it any wonder that Canadians feel safer in their own homes? Sure, there are good and bad parts to any city but let’s face it – Canada is a better place to raise your families if you’re worried about crime. People are just more chill. Maybe it’s all the maple syrup, or they’re just too cold to do anything, but either way – you can leave your door unlocked here, and not worry about being murdered in your beds. That’s always a bonus, right?
12. UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE
Health care is one of the biggest bugbears for American citizens. If you don’t have insurance and happen to break your arm, it can cost you upward of $2.5k. The X-ray alone will set you back $200. While President Obama was in office, he rolled out Obamacare, a law put in place to try and ensure affordable healthcare was available to everyone. The current POTUS is trying to repeal it, but luckily for Canadians, they don’t have to worry about any of that. They’ve got Universal Healthcare (a similar system to that of United Kingdoms National Health Service), meaning they don’t have to pay for the majority of medical treatments. Oh, Canada!
11. WINTER SPORTS
It’s no secret it gets cold in Canada, but there’s a huge advantage to growing up with this – there’s no panic when it starts to snow, you’re always fully prepared, and able to handle a snow flurry like it’s no big deal. Which it isn’t, because Canadians can handle winter without having to put a stop to their every day lives. What’s more, some winter sports like skiing are taught in schools, meaning they usually do pretty well at the Winter Olympics. They have more medals in winter sports than any other country – and it’s well deserved. If you ever need a driveway cleared or some advice on snow boots, Canadians are the real deal. Accept no imitations.
10. IT’S SERIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL
We’re not saying that America isn’t beautiful – some parts of it are truly spectacular. There’s New England in fall, the Grand Canyon, etc. But it’s just not as attractive as Canada. Surprisingly, the land of maple syrup has a bigger land mass than the US, but with a way smaller amount of people. Add that on to the 79 million hectares of protected land and you’ve got the recipe for paradise. Some of the jewels in the Canadian crown are the spectacular national parks, like Banff, Point Pelee and Yoho to name just a few. Amazing wildlife and epic scenery, from the tip of the snow covered mountains to the leaves of the towering trees.
9. THE WONDERBRA
Yep, boobs – what can be better than that? WonderBra was officially launched in the US in 1994, but it was Canadian designer Louise Poirier in 1963, as the world’s first ‘WonderBra – Push Up Plunge Bra’. Without this gift to women (and men), the lingerie industry wouldn’t be where it is today. You can kiss goodbye to Victoria’s Secret, Agent Provocateur and the rest of today’s competitors. Without Canada, the landscape of cleavage just wouldn’t be the same. If that doesn’t score some serious points for the Great White North then we don’t know what will.
8. CANADIANS GET IT ON THE REGULAR
According to a study conducted by Durex, 59% of Canadian’s are having weekly fun between the sheets, compared to 53% of Americans. Is it something in the water? The clean air? The maple syrup? Who knows! But something about Canada just makes their residents extra…happy. It could even be the cold weather causing people to huddle together like penguins. The same survey showed that the average Canadian also has more intimate partners in their lifetime than other countries, such as Italy, Spain, France and 13 states in the US. Go Canada! Looks like they enjoy more than just bacon.
7. CANADA PRODUCES FUNNIER CELEBRITIES
No disrespect America, but it’s just a fact. Wayne and Shuster, Lorne Michaels, Catherine O’Hara, John Candy, Mike Myers, Jim Carrey — all prime examples of the best comics in recent years, and all Canadian. If they weren’t enough, one of the most popular actors of current times Seth Rogen has become one of Hollywood’s most successful comedians, along with Brampton, Ont.’s Michael Cera and Montreal’s Jay Baruchel. What’s more, they love to stick together, regularly collaborating in different movies and shows. Can you think of a counter argument to this point, US? Let us know in the comments.
6. THEIR NATIONAL BIRD IS BETTER
Let’s take a look at the animal of choice for this one. The American eagle is a pretty good choice in theory. It’s strong, flies high and is known for razor sharp senses, but even Ben Franklin wasn’t a fan. According to Ben, “I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral Character. He does not get his Living honestly . . . like those among Men who live by Sharping & Robbing he is generally poor and often very lousy . . . a rank Coward.” A beaver might be an odd choice, but he’s dependable, knows how to build things methodically and is by and large, way more approachable and cute than something that may peck out your eyes. Just saying.
5. THE BACON IS DELICIOUS
Canadian bacon is the stuff that dreams are made of. The packs of ‘Canadian bacon’ sold in American stores isn’t actually what Canadian’s consider bacon. These packs are usually slices of processed ham. The real deal is peameal bacon, a genius invention created in Toronto. The pork loin is brined in pickle and rolled in cornmeal, sometimes sweetened with maple syrup. If you’re American, the chances are you had no idea there was a huge, very important difference in the two meats – but don’t worry, you’re not alone. It’s not the first time one country has completely ruined the food of another.
4. THEY’RE ACCEPTING OF EVERYONE
One of the best things about Canada is the friendly and accepting attitude the majority of people have. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has made no secret of his desire for a fully inclusive nation, no matter where you’re from, the color of your skin or what sexual-orientation you are. In America, this is still an ongoing battle, with certain states far less welcoming of different types of people than they should be. Depending on the politicians in power, this fluctuates, creating a constant power struggle between the left and right. Personally, we think Canada has the right idea here. Wave that flag and wave it proud!
3. THE KIDS ARE SMARTER
Yep, really. According to statistics taken from school tests The Program for International Student Assessment conducted, Canadians knock the US right out of the water. The average child rates 4.8% higher at reading, 8.2% higher at math and 5.4% better at science. What’s the reason for this? Better quality education, and a deep-rooted love of knowledge. It’s no secret that America has some areas that are badly deprived in these areas. Often in large cities where many families live below the poverty line, and schools are put under too much pressure for the budget they have.
2. THE QUALITY OF LIFE IS HIGHER
Canadians just have more money – and it’s not a small margin either! Statistics show that Canadians are on average $40,000 dollars richer per annum than their American friends. One of the main reasons is the crash in the US economy and the numerous wars they’ve been involved in. While all of that was going on, Canada was concentrating on building its assets, coming in at a pretty decent 10th place in the world’s economic ranking. If you want that giant house with a pool, financial security, and generally a much better way of life without the financial implications, Canada is your man!
1. CANADIANS ARE POLITE
It might cause them to be mocked constantly, but Canadians are notoriously polite. You could pretty much punch a Canuck in the face and they’d apologize to you for hurting your hand. Given that saying ‘sorry’ more often has been proven to be beneficial for your health, there’s nothing wrong with minding your P’s and Q’s. It might be a common saying that nice guys finish last, but given the scope of the country, it only adds to the already huge appeal of ditching your current nationality and hopping over the boarder to Canada. If you bump into someone by accident in the aisle at a Walmart in the US, you could end up in the parking lot taking a hit. Best avoid that scenario and learn the Canadian national anthem now.
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