So…how long have you and your boyfriend been seeing each other? How serious is it in your opinion? Have you met his parents yet? Meeting your boyfriend’s parents is a big deal for several reasons. First, it shows you just how seriously he is taking your relationship. Next, it reassures you that he just may be “The One”. And lastly, it indicates that he is thinking of his future with you in it.
But what if you haven’t met his parents yet?
Many times there is an underlying reason other than “he’s just not ready yet”. Today we share the top 15 reasons you will never meet his parents. Hold on a second, this doesn’t mean the reason you won’t meet his parents is because of you, personally. It could be due to his parents having totally crazy expectations of who they picture as his future wife. We’ve done all the investigating for you and have come up with the top reasons why you may not have met your sweetheart’s parents by now.
15. Too Much Pressure To Tie The Knott
Have you recently brought up that you want to marry your boyfriend? If so, you may have freaked him out a bit. If he is not sharing the same feelings about both of your futures together he may withdraw a bit. Expect that he wouldn’t even think about giving you the wrong impression by bringing you as his girlfriend to the next family Sunday dinner. Again, with the goal of not wanting to give you the wrong idea.
Men who are thinking along the terms of “I Do” will make the effort to arrange the whole meeting his parents event. If he doesn’t bring it up then most likely he is not even thinking along those terms. It’s best to allow him to come to you with this type of invite. Besides, you don’t want to come across as the needy, pushy, marry me, marry me, type. Lay off the pressure and allow him to come to you in regards to where the relationship is going. You would agree that it would be more authentic if he asked you to meet his parents, let a lone marry him, wouldn’t you?
14. Strung Out On Drugs or Alcohol
This one is no surprise. In fact, if you are abusing drugs and alcohol your boyfriend would not want to bring you around his family. His family would end up with a first impression that is not appealing to either of you. In addition, he is most likely using right along side with you and doesn’t want his family to find out. If he is an addict, he is probably hiding this piece of his life from mom and dad.
The best thing you can do is to get clean. If you want a future together that includes his family then you both will need to make some lifestyle changes. Not only is this better for your relationship, over-all, it will improve your individual health as well. Then, your boyfriend will be motivated to introduce you to his parents.
13. You Aren’t Really His Girlfriend
This concept has actually been around for decades. Ladies, if you have been dating your man for over three months there is no reason why you haven’t met his mom and pops yet. Unless they live a long distance away, you should be a regular at his family functions. This way they can accept you and start loving you. Same goes for you. A question to ponder would be whether or not you are in fact, his number one.
Many times a man will not bring you to meet his family because he is just not that serious about you. Another reason would be that he has several ladies on his roster and is not anywhere close to settling down with just one woman. If you feel this could be the case, simply ask him if you guys are casually dating or in a monogamous relationship. Sometimes without these aspects ironed out from the beginning, one person may think the relationship is totally platonic with benefits. In the same light, the other person thinks it’s much more serious. It’s best to clear this up a.s.a.p!
12. Polarized Political Views
This may sound a bit silly but to some families, one’s political party status can be a deal breaker or a solid shoe in. Unfortunately there are older generations that are more judgmental of the potential candidates dating their young man, and of the political party they associate with. This is more predominant in the North East and in the South.
There’s really no way around this one unless you claim “unaffiliated”. With that being said, however, unless it’s true, you may not feel comfortable lying to your future mother and father in-laws. Guess it all depends on being true to yourself and your own personal ethical standards.
11. He Has A Crazy Family With An Unacceptable Lifestyle
Some men will be more reluctant to introducing their girlfriend to his parents if he is embarrassed of them. His family could be completely crazy. Likewise, they could lack manners, behave very rude regardless of who is around. He may be avoiding bringing you to their house because of how messy his parents live. For example, have you seen the TV show “Hoarders”? For fear of your judgement towards your boyfriend he is avoiding the whole situation.
In any of these scenarios your boyfriend is trying to protect you. At the same time, he is also preventing embarrassment of his parent’s behaviours. By all means, he doesn’t want you to think badly of him after meeting his crazy family. Your boyfriend is worried that you will change your mind about him and not see him in the same way if you were exposed to his insane family.
10. He’s Just Embarrassed of You
Now let’s look at the flip side. He may not want to bring you around his mom and dad because you embarrass him for some reason. Is there any reason that typical society would not agree with? Maybe you are unemployed and he doesn’t want to admit this to his family. He could feel ashamed if you never finished college, or even worse, high school. Do you have a foul mouth and use swear words regardless who is around?
You could have the kind of look that screams “stoner”. His parents could be horribly religious and you enjoy wearing goth style jewelry and clothing. As shallow as this sounds, your boyfriend wants his parent’s approval of who he is settling down with. Furthermore, he wants mom and dad to like and accept you. If this is your situation, consider trading your boyfriend in for someone who likes you just the way you are.
9. Your Occupation Will Offend His Parents
I know what you are thinking, how can your job or career offend your boyfriend’s folks? Depends on what the general public opinion is. A few occupations that may be accepted by your boy-toy may not go over so well with mom. Such professions include: exotic dancers, go-go dancers, night club/bar positions, or working at a restaurant that requires skimpy uniforms to be worn.
To your friends and the guys that you date, this is typically not a big deal. They like you and don’t pass judgement. Your boyfriend’s mother, on the other hand, may be very slighted at the fact that her son is dating someone working in a so-called “womanizing” industry. Only two ways around this one. You can lie about your job. Or, you could change jobs only to impress someone who may or may not even be in your life for very long.
8. He Has Commitment Issues
Although you may have been seeing each other for quite some time now, he might not be sure if you’re “the one”. Be that as it may, he could be planning to break up with you. He just hasn’t gotten around to it yet. If your man has issues with commitment, the more serious you two get the more he will withdraw from you. If you have expressed an interest in meeting his relatives and his response shows apprehension, he is not 100% committed.
Don’t take this too personally. In reality, he probably hasn’t introduced any previous girlfriends to his parent’s either. What you can do is a little investigation into this issue. Sit down with him for a good old-fashioned girlfriend interrogation and have a talk with him. Just be honest and ask him what the big deal is. Only he knows the true reason why you haven’t met the family yet. You very well could be his first long-term relationship? On the contrary, you might also be over thinking it.
7. Staunch Religious Views
Here’s a more obvious and pretty common reason why you’ll never meet the family of your significant other. He may come from a strong religious upbringing. Do you share this in common with your guy? There are several religions where parents are very adamant about marriage with someone from that same religion.
These religions include unorthodox Catholic, Judaism, Jehovah’s Witness, and most Christian denominations. The list goes on and on. Most parents want to see their son marry a nice girl with the same religious beliefs and views as theirs. When a couple comes from different religious upbringing their beliefs, customs, holidays, and other aspects clash.
6. Sabotaging Guardians
This is a bit more rare than the other reasons but it does happen. In this kind of situation your boyfriend has brought girls home to meet the family before. Only to find out that his mother or father maliciously sabotages his relationships. He may be avoiding bringing you home to prevent his parents from purposely trying to break you up.
According to one DailyMail article, one fifth of parents openly admit to trying to wreck their child’s relationship due to disapproval of who their child is dating! Mothers seem to be the biggest culprits when this takes place. In fact, the mother is typically successful in this ill-fuelled quest of hers. For whatever reason the parents reject you dating their son, keep an eye out for signs of sabotage.
5. You Are Just The Rebound
That’s correct, you could undoubtedly be his rebound chick. Chances are he just left a meaningful relationship prior to meeting you. Which lead to his self-soothing ways to healing his wounds with what we call a transitional relationship. A transitional relationship is one that is usually short-term and for the sole purpose of someone fixing the blow to their ego from getting dumped.
When this happens, initially you two are having a lot of fun together. Specifically, going out multiple times and moving quickly with labeling your new relationship as “serious”. You may even be having sex early on for the purpose of feeding his ego. This takes place regardless if you are aware that you are just his rebound or not. If you are looking for something with more substance you should seek a relationship with someone who has not recently changed his Facebook status to “Single”.
4. Homophobic Parents
If your significant other’s family is full of homophobic, ignorant people, and you are to have dinner with them, be prepared. Expect awkward dinner topics such as, “When did you decide you were gay?” Or even worse, them trying to “help you” by praying your gayness away. When this is the case, your partner would never want to expose you to that kind of abuse. Her mother or father may go as far as kicking you both out. Good thing you both live on your own now.
Situations like this develop one of two ways. One, his parents could magically realize they are in the wrong and welcome you with open arms. Or two, the dinner from hell will commence, including heated and uncomfortable conversations about how wrong your relationship is, and ending with you and your girlfriend feeling hurt and offended.
3. He’s Hiding The Fact That You Are Pregnant
You were probably planning a Pinterest worthy post to share with your boyfriend that he’s about to be a new daddy. Although very creative and cute, this might just go array. Every mother has her own idea of what age is appropriate have children. No matter where you are in life, if you are pregnant, it’s highly likely that at least one person will pass unwanted judgement.
Your baby daddy’s parents might have some thoughts on the two of you having kids too young. Likewise, they are going to be more opinionated than the toddler you’re going to have in a couple of years. His mom might try to sabotage the relationship, might even try to convince you to terminate your child. He’s hiding you to protect you and his unborn baby.
2. Different Racial or Ethnic Backgrounds
You may never, ever, meet his family if they are racist or prejudice. Although he was raised this way, doesn’t mean that he agrees with their false views. If the two of you have different ethnic backgrounds he will want to keep you from this type of harm. Your honey wants to protect you from potential abuse who will make you feel some type of way from their hateful remarks. In this scenario, you can expect that if he DID take you to the next family BBQ, you would be humiliated, ridiculed, and made to feel as a lesser person.
We have heard of parents threatening to disown their son if he dated someone of the ‘wrong’ racial background. If this is the case, your love wouldn’t want to invite them into this part of his life ever again. Even if you are “the one” and you have the “right” skin colour. Chances are his family will not be receiving an invitation to your wedding!
1. You Are His Side Dish – They’ve Already Met His Real Girlfriend
You’re probably begging your boyfriend to meet the family if you guys have been going steady and you think he’s husband material. But he’s been reluctant to take you. Why? Is he embarrassed of you? Does he not feel the same way about you? Unfortunately, you can lose your mind trying to figure this one out.
But then, he unwittingly leaves his phone on the couch while he goes for a long visit in the bathroom. Naturally you glance over and surprisingly see his screen light up. Then you ask yourself, “Who’s ‘lover’ with heart emojis?” Consequently, you think its you till you look a little closer. This is not your conversation. Your heart sinks and your blood begins to boil as you realize that you are the side chick. We feel bad for your boyfriend who will return from the bathroom to feel the wrath of your fury!
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