So, you’ve been single for a while and whilst you think you might be a pretty decent guy, so far, the women you have met don’t seem to have the same opinion. Dating can be tough, especially in a world where dating apps and social media dominate our lives and we have the option to meet so many new people at the touch of a button. It’s easy to go looking online for the ‘right’ person, and although you keep getting matched up with people who share similar interests as you, nothing ever seems to progress to the next level.
Some guys find it harder than others to meet a girl that’s genuinely interested in them and that want to keep seeing them after the initial first date. They might have dated multiple girls in the past and always found the same excuses offered after a while as to why it just isn’t going to work out. Is this just because they haven’t met the right girl yet? Or could it be that there are ways to avoid being unappealing to women and prevent getting rejected by the next woman we date?
Which of these 15 reasons apply to you?
15. You’re a complete slob
When you’ve taken a girl to your house, did you clean the dishes, pick those old clothes up off the floor and even go as far as making your bed? When you find a partner it’s unlikely they want to become your new maid so make sure you tidy your house and wash your clothes. There’s just something off-putting about an adult guy who can’t seem to take care of himself. When women are looking for a new partner they want to find someone they can share their lives with – oh and that includes sharing chores, she’s supposed to be your girlfriend, not your mother!
14. You lack basic ambitions
You don’t have to be signing up for ‘The Apprentice’ or lunching with Alan Sugar to show you’ve got some ambition, but no one wants to date that guy that is constantly borrowing money from his girlfriend. Girls don’t really go after the ‘rich guys’ and you don’t have to shower her in expensive gifts or pay for every date but when a guy can’t manage his money or shows a lack of ambition it can put an awkward strain on the relationship from the very start. Even if you might be broke now, knowing someone has goals and ambition for the future makes them way more attractive.
13. You’ve got a bad reputation
Due to your single nature and spending every weekend out drinking with the lads, engaging in frequent and short relationships with women, you might have a bit of a reputation as a ladies man. This can make you undateable as your reputation makes you seem untrustworthy to women when dating in the long run. No one wants to date the guy that has had relations with half the women they know, no girl wants the embarrassment of people thinking ‘oh she’s his latest squeeze, but he’ll be onto the next one soon’. It also might make the girl think you’re more likely to cheat on her – even if you do have a heart of gold.
12. You’re not a gentleman
There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, if you’re coming across as the latter she might be likely to try and find someone else who prefers to look at her rather than in the mirror. It’s not very gentlemanly to be more interested in yourself than the person you are dating, and this is something that works both ways as similarly you are not going to want to date a girl who is just interested in herself. They say chivalry is dead but it will still impress her when you do gentlemanly things and put her first, after all, even if they deny it, every girl wants to be treated like a princess.
11. She dislikes your friends
Not something we can control easily but, friends have a big impact on our lives as we spend a lot of our time with them, they influence our decisions and behaviour and usually who we choose to spend our time with is a good reflection of who we are as people. If a girl doesn’t like your friends, it can make things a little awkward for everyone involved. After all, at some point, whether it be a birthday or other celebration she will have to hang out with them. How can she see a future where she is forced to spend time around people she cannot stand?
10. You’re a mamma’s boy
What age do you define as an adult? Does anyone really ever class themselves as a ‘proper adult’ no matter how old they get? You may be a mamma’s boy at heart and mom may still come round every Sunday bringing you food for the week and helping you do your ironing but the girl you’re dating doesn’t need to know that just yet! It can be frustrating for girls to have to compete with a guy’s mom for their attention – especially when they would rather go out for dinner with their mom on a Saturday night than take the girl on a date.
9. You’re too keen and it’s creepy
It’s hard, if not impossible to work out how to show the right level of interest in someone you are dating. However, if you come across too keen that can be a little off-putting, it can even seal the deal as a no if she’s not really sure how she feels about you yet. If she hasn’t replied for a few hours, don’t keep sending her texts, calls, WhatsApp’s or Facebook messages. Or turn up at her house or work – even though this seemed to work for Christian Grey it can come across a bit stalkerish. If someone likes you they will be in contact with you in their own time.
8. You’re not keen enough
The opposite problem to the last point, if a girl does like you, playing it too cool can make her think you’re just not interested. People talk about waiting a certain amount of time or days before talking to someone again after a date, but do these rules actually work? Who sets these rules? It could be too late and if she’s come to the conclusion that you’re just not really interested in dating her then she may just move on and find someone else who is. It can also make people feel pretty down thinking the person they like isn’t really as keen as they thought.
7. You’re an immature child
Spending your weekends playing paintball with the lads, rolling around on the floor, pretending to be the world’s greatest team of secret agents, or spending days on the Playstation only leaving the screen when the pizza delivery guys comes knocking at the door is absolutely fine and guess what, girls like to have fun and do fun things too. But if you are always messing about and showing no interest in being serious about a girl, she might start to doubt whether you are capable of having an adult relationship and if you have the potential for a serious future with her at all.
6. You’ve been friend zoned
Not everyone is compatible romantically, and sometimes the best friendships can come out of dating failures. You might find that some of the worst dates you’ve been on turn out to be the friends you value most years later in life. Female friends can be the best, they can give your advice that your lad group simply cannot even begin to understand, especially when it comes to dating and relationship advice. However, it still doesn’t change that soul-destroying moment when we realise you’ve awkwardly been sent to the friend zone by the girl you’re crushing on. And once in the friend zone, it can be very difficult to get back out.
5. She’s just not interested
Even if she may have initially liked the look of you, it doesn’t mean she wants to date you in the long run. Sometimes once you get to know each other a bit better, she’s realised you’re not really what she’s looking for. Or maybe she just didn’t like the look of you in the first place and won’t give you a chance to get to know her. Either way, if she’s not interested, it’s probably best to stop pursuing her now and find someone who does want to spend time with you. Alternatively, if you decide to keep pursuing her anyway – I wish you luck.
4. She’s just got out of a relationship
Although, it can often be used as a fake excuse to gently let down someone you’re really not interested in. Sometimes people who have come out of relationships just aren’t emotionally ready to move on with someone else. Break-ups are tough for everyone involved and it can seem like they are being cruel at the time not willing to give you a chance. But it can really save you the pain and misery in the long run of dating someone who isn’t emotionally available. When this happens, you can either move on or give the girl some time and see if there is anything worth pursuing in the future.
3. You’re not yourself around her
We all know that talking to girls can be hard! First date nerves can make it especially hard to get to know someone new, you might find yourself breaking into a sweat unable to speak or talking so much rubbish to her she can barely get a word in, to prevent any awkward silences from taking place. It takes time to get to know people, and usually people find it difficult to get to know someone quickly in a short amount of time. There comes a time when silences between you are no longer awkward but up until that time you can become a bumbling mess of words and feel like you are not being yourself.
2. She likes someone else
No matter how much you pursue her, if she’s into someone else, she’s just not going to be interested in dating you. You may not realize that just because she’s single, it doesn’t mean she’s emotionally available. If she’s spending her time pursuing another love interest, it’s not fair on you or her to be dating. If you really like her, you might wait around to see how it works out with the other guy, and perhaps she will let you know if she is emotionally available. Or you can move on to someone that deserves your time and sees the good in you straight away.
1. She doesn’t want a relationship
Contrary to what every film, book, and song seems to lead us to believe, there’s nothing wrong with being single and not everyone is out there searching for ‘the one’. If she genuinely doesn’t want a relationship she might be taking some time out to focus on her own personal goals, such as work, friends, family and travelling. Sometimes people can grow the most when they are out of a relationship learning who they are and what they like as an individual and working on bettering themselves as a person before they find someone who they want to share their life with.
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