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15 Ridiculous Reasons Why People Break Up

15 Ridiculous Reasons Why People Break Up

You’ve probably taken your friends out for ice-cream or a night out partying to drown their sorrows after they got dumped. While some of these people were ditched because of genuine reasons, it still hurt and they needed time to just whine and cry about it. We’ve also danced all night when our friends dumped partners whom we always knew were bad for them, but they didn’t see it. Who wouldn’t be happy when their friend finally dumped a man who openly drooled over every female including his girl’s mum? Or an immature guy who was a public embarrassment?

While some of these cases are met with immediate reactions of ‘good riddance’ from our end, some of these stories only leave us wondering what an absurd reason that was to break up! A great example is the case of Chandler, one of the characters in Friends, who’s picky about choosing girlfriends. In the series, he’s worried that he may have lost the love of his life for a very dumb reason. She pronounces “supposedly” as “supposebly.” It’s so insane to imagine that someone could end a really great relationship because of silly mistakes as that. The list below shows us how petty people can be in relationships, sometimes jeopardizing their utopian future over a simple mistake.

15. She Cried Because A Restaurant Menu Had No Vegan Options, But Ordered Fish Tacos


Joe decided to spend an afternoon out with his girlfriend, and so they headed out to a local brewery. A few minutes in, he noticed that she was about to cry, and so he decided to ask what could have caused a mood swing that early into the date. To his shock, the girl was crying because there weren’t any vegan options on the menu. He noticed that they actually were allowing guests to substitute for vegan cheese. Well, the girl cried even harder, and so Joe opted to take her to a different restaurant, where she annoyingly ordered fish tacos! So, why was she even crying in the first place?

14. Eating Salmon Wasn’t Manly


Another guy also had the unfortunate opportunity to take an immature and rather crazy girl for a date. Well, unlike Joe, at least the lady did not cry but she had an unusual comment to say to him. Her boyfriend felt like eating salmon, which strangely wasn’t manly enough for her. According to his lass, ordering a burger was the manly option. One’s left to wonder what she’d say if she ordered steak and her man said, “order a salad like a woman!” Anyway, the girl was dumped for being sexist.

13. She Was A Cookie Monster


I thought learning how to chew was on every toddler’s dining table 101 lesson plan. As ridiculous as it may sound, a partner who doesn’t know how to chew isn’t worth anyone’s time. After all, you can imagine how messy he can be when he gets down to business. While you are busy thanking the stars for not meeting such a man or woman, one man was unlucky. His girlfriend always chewed with her mouth wide open, smacking her lips. This was followed by a litany of ‘Mmmm’s” and “Nom’s”, and of course, wondering why her boyfriend was no longer on the other side of the table. She never saw him since.

12. Her Stomach Was Made For McDonalds


Marie couldn’t eat anything besides chicken nuggets and French fries. Her boyfriend hoped that substitutes like jacket potatoes and chicken tenders or chicken strips would be great alternatives, but she just couldn’t take it. Marie was specific, so much so, that if they went to a restaurant that didn’t serve nuggets and fries, she’d order a coke and watch her man dine. Finally, her boyfriend had it and opted to dump her when he cooked dinner for her, after which, she took one bite and requested to run to McDonalds to get nuggets and fries. She closed the door behind her, for good!

11. Her Baby-Talk Was Too Creepy


Mark sure loved his girlfriend to bits, but loathed the voice she used to baby-talk to her dog. It was just plain insufferable. What was even worse was that she occasionally used that voice on her man, and was insensitive enough to bring it into the bedroom. One night, Mark’s blood was hot and his Johnson needed some release. He was armed with a serene, romantic bedroom, and a very alert Johnson, when his girlfriend decided to spoil the moment by making that annoying voice asking, “Can I sucky on your dicky?”. In that instant, Johnson ‘shrunky’ and the girl was kicked out of the ‘housey’ and Mark’s ‘lifey’ as well.

10. She Couldn’t Decide On Anything


Breaking up with someone because of their indecisive nature isn’t ridiculous at all if they are double dealing and can’t decide on who to date. In fact, it’s a relief since this behavior can be both mentally and emotionally draining. What’s ridiculous about this case is how serious this girl’s indecisive nature ran deep into her choices about what movie to watch! Her boyfriend was used to her lack of choice when they went shopping or had to order something at the restaurant, but enough was enough. One day, however, they went out on a movie date and as usual, she couldn’t pick a movie to watch. This drove him NUTS, and away from her life forever.

9. She Ate His Burger


Pete took his girlfriend out for lunch but she insisted that she wasn’t hungry. He went ahead to order his own burger and right when his plate came, he went to the bathroom. Little did he know, while he was busy relieving himself in order to provide space for his delicious burger, his girlfriend was filling hers with the same burger. When he came back to the table, the burger was gone, making Pete visibly mad. His girlfriend tried to quell him with puppy eyes and an ‘Oops! Babe, I was hungry.’ That’s how the relationship ended, a classic case of till burger do us part!

8. A Colloquial Expression Was Misunderstood


Hell is of course a place that all religious folk fear. But a lot of good and creative colloquial expressions have been made using this word! A cold day in hell, a hell of a time, as sure as hell, like a bat out of hell, and finally funny as hell, which is the actual idiom that Dave used when telling a story to his girlfriend over dinner. To his surprise, his lady got pissed off and asked him if he really thought that hell was funny. According to Dave, that was the most awkward dinner they ever had together, and definitely the last one ever.

7. He Didn’t Want To Buy A Christmas Gift


Every year around Christmas, Thanksgiving and notoriously Valentine’s Day, we have different memes and jokes about breaking up with our partners to avoid buying any gifts or attending any family gatherings. Well, Jonathan took this joke a little too far actualizing it, until his girlfriend got the drill. He broke up with her before Christmas to prevent any expectations of her on Boxing Day. He then got back together with her, only to break up again in 10 months!

6. He Reminded Her Of Ted From How I Met Your Mother


Ted Mosby was the hopeless romantic in How I Met Your Mother, who was desperate for love, but with all the qualities of an ideal guy, such as attractive career choice, composed nature, very knowledgeable, romantic and handsome. He was also a great break from the ever-mushy Lilypad and Mashmellow, the very perverted Barney Stinson, and the serious ‘don’t want kids’ Robin. Although an amazing character, Ted was responsible for Bella’s real-life break up. Her man constantly reminded her of Ted, and so they broke up!

5. She Had Abnormally Long Toes


Zain was lucky to have found a girlfriend who was nice, funny, hot and obviously into him, and his friends could go on and on about how the two were made for each other and even caused some of them to believe in love. Well, as much as Zain acknowledged all this, he just couldn’t stop noticing her abnormally long toes, which according to him, were ‘finger-like’. It was unfortunately impossible for him to ignore this flaw, and he called it quits. There’s no way he could sire children who could end up with such toes.

4. He Brought A Helmet To The Club


Women are attracted to men who can bust a move, if movies like Stomp The Yard, You Got Served, Step Up, Take The Lead and Magic Mike are anything to go by. These men are not only 10 times hotter but are also a sure bet that other ladies will be jealous of you at the club. Well, not all ladies dig this style however it comes, as some have class on the dance floor as well. While Sandra loved the fact that her man could outdo Colombus Short, she couldn’t take it when he carried a helmet to the club so he could do head spins on the dance floor. Guess the only spinning he did that time was in his mind trying to figure out what went wrong.

3. She Couldn’t Pronounce The Word ‘Comfy’ Correctly


Back in 2005, Nate was doing the early version of Netflix and chill with his girlfriend, because sometimes it’s just cool and relaxing to chill at home. Anyway, as they were getting ready to watch the movie, his girlfriend made the mistake that cost her relationship. She asked whether Nate was ‘comfty’, causing him to break up with her, of course after the 90 minute movie run time. What we don’t know is if, like in Chandler’s case, Nate forfeited a bright future with the girl of his dreams. In my option, he should have forgotten the ‘t’ in the word, and sipped some chamomile tea to relax his nerves.

2. He Was Talking To His Female Cousin


Uncontrolled and unwarranted jealousy has cost some relationships, even on absurd levels. Well, it’s okay to want to know who that chick texting your man back and forth at midnight is or who that guy that’s always conveniently at the bus stop whenever your woman is stepping out is. On the flip side, it is outright ridiculous to be jealous over your man’s female family members. In this case, Anne broke up with Phil because he was talking to Grace, despite being fully aware that Grace was Phil’s cousin!

1. No Reason At All


Although ridiculous, 14 of the reasons stated in this list were actual reasons for breaking up. What’s weird about this one is that Brian’s girl had no reason at all for breaking up with him. According to Brian, who was venting on Reddit, the relationship was going steady for several months, and the couple had grown comfortable with each other, enough to plan a trip together. Shockingly, just a week before the trip, his boo cut off communication and when he reached out, she was just stone-faced and has never explained why things changed. In all honesty, she should rather have said that his nose or feet were too large instead of staying mum. A relationship that long deserves an explanation, no matter how crazy.

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