Relationship goals – what does this phrase really mean? The #RelationshipGoals hastag has been breaking the Internet ever since it was created. At first, this was just associated with pictures of couples that are holding each other’s hands while walking, couples that are cuddling and couples that are happily enjoying a date. However, it seems that the realistic idea of what relationship goals really means is continuously diminishing and converted into fantasy-like relationship goals.
There’s nothing wrong about dreaming for an ideal date and relationship, but social media are exaggerating the true meaning of a sincere and honest relationship. The popularity of the exaggerated relationship goals is also continuously affecting a woman’s standards in a relationship, leaving her with expectations that this can be a true relationship goal.
In return, men feel the need to compete with the changing standards of how relationships really work. Men come up with different romantic gestures just to prove that chivalry is not dead and that they can also fulfill whatever standard that their partners are looking for. Yes, women will appreciate these romantic gestures at first, but in reality, women will start feeling uncomfortable with them.
Simple and sweet gestures can always bring a smile to a woman’s face and brighten up her day; however, some men are overdoing the idea of romance just to spice up the relationship. Remember, being yourself and showing your girl respect, loyalty, and sincerity naturally will always be the best things that you can do for her.
Here is a list of the romantic gestures that men should refrain from doing, because women actually hate these actions as they may feel uncomfortable.
15. Romantic Comedy Movies vs. Reality
Women love romantic movies and there is no doubt about that. Women will always fantasize Adam Sandler’s efforts just to help Drew Barrymore remember everything they’ve been through every morning she wakes up, not knowing what happened yesterday, on the movie 50 First Dates. The same goes for other movies that are incredibly romantic including The Notebook and Fifty Shades of Grey, but women are also aware that this will never happen in reality.
So there’s no need to recreate the scenes in her favorite movie, because it turns out that almost every woman who experienced her favorite movie’s dream scene in reality just resulted to an awkward situation. This includes the fantasy of kissing under the rain from countless romantic movies. In reality, it’s really uncomfortable.
14. Generic Valentines Gifts
Some people might be wondering what is wrong with giving the usual bouquet of red roses, a big fluffy teddy bear and boxes of chocolates. While it is true that these gifts can make a girl smile and feel loved, there are women who are not fond of any of this, especially if the men are continuously giving these gifts to them. There’s nothing wrong with giving flowers, but this should not be a splurge. Let’s face it, what will she do with the flowers? They will only withe after few days, anyway. Women are also not toddlers who need to fill their room with stuffed toys or crave chocolate all the time.
Get your girl something she really wants, maybe a pampering spa day or tickets to an event she loves. Just be creative and unique; a woman loves gifts that have deeper meaning and not the usual ones that their girlfriends will also get.
13. Stop Winning Lots of Stuffed Animals at Fairs
Winning a stuffed animal during a date at a fair or carnival is sweet – for teenagers. This is a romantic gesture, but don’t try winning a big stuffed animal or lots of stuffed animals that she will carry around during your date because that can be annoying for her. She should be comfortable during your dates. Just be careful; men usually try really hard just to win that stuffed animal, making themselves seem a lot less cool in the process. This can be embarrassing, not just for the men, but for their dates, too. If you think you can’t really do it, don’t even try. Better yet, just take her to the Ferris wheel, which is a romantic way to have a conversation that is not too cheesy and just natural.
12. Unexpected Visit
A surprise visit to her house with breakfast and coffee can be really sweet, but not all the time. Sometimes, being an unexpected guest can be bad. People usually wake up in the morning with a planned schedule that involves important activities, such as work. Showing up unexpectedly can affect their schedule and the whole plan can be compromised. She has her own life and own hobbies that do not include a romantic moment with her partner, which means she needs privacy, alone time, or a day with her friends.
11. Surprise Visit in Shower!
If an unexpected visit at her house is already a bad manner, then how bad is it to join her in the shower? Yes, a woman does allow her partner to join her in the shower and that is normal especially if they are married and living together, but there are times that this can be so uncomfortable for her. She has her own life and a large percentage of her time is spent in the shower. Every woman has their own bathroom regimen – conditioning and treating her hair, moisturizing her skin from head to toe, and of course, shaving her legs. She can’t do that if her partner is lingering near her, inside the shower. Men, do not join her unless she asked you too. You don’t want her to feel uncomfortable.
10. Kissing Her Mid-Sentence
In movies, kissing a girl mid-sentence while she’s babbling can be really so sweet and romantic and that can also happen in reality. Men do this, especially when they are in a middle of an argument. At first, a woman can let this pass and she can pretend that this is a romantic way of saying I love you. However, women can really hate this. Because this romantic gesture is also considered a kiss to get you to shut up, and this can offend a woman. Men do not need to interrupt a woman who is expressing her thoughts and feelings, especially during an argument. The shut up kiss is a shortcut and shortcuts are not the solution in fixing a couple’s problem; hear her out.
9. Pretending To Be the Man of Her Dreams
Women have their dream man and they always try to find the qualities they want in their partner. While being the better man is good, pretending to be the dream man will never be good. Do you remember the Disney film Aladdin where Aladdin pretended to be a prince just to impress Princess Jasmine? His lies did yield a good result because he got the girl, but in reality, that is a one in a million chance.
In reality, men do need to impress the girl they are dating, but that does not mean that men need to lie. Always remember that a woman does not really fall in love with their dream man; she often falls in love with the person she is comfortable with. Bottom line – just be you.
8. Watching Her Sleep (Really?)
Unless you are a handsome vampire like Edward Cullen and the woman you are with is Bella, don’t let her know that you watch her sleep. Yes, watching a girl sleep means that a man is really in love with her and fascinated by her beauty, even while she’s snoring or drooling. That does not mean that a woman is comfortable with someone watching her while she sleeps. It can be so awkward for her when the first thing she sees upon opening her eyes in the morning is her man’s face staring at her. She is a woman and she is sometimes conscious about her body, especially morning breath, snoring, and drool.
7. Lingerie as Gifts
Sure, giving your girl lingerie is a sexy and a hot way of saying you love her, but sometimes, she may feel uncomfortable. Why is this bad idea? First, you can get the size wrong. Buy something that is a little small and she will be offended because she might think she is fat. Buy something big and she will still be offended because she might think that you see her as a fat lady. So, whatever size you buy, you will be screwed.
Most importantly, women do wear lingerie because they want to be intimate with their partners. The truth is that they really want to wear pajamas at night. Why are you giving her lingerie, anyway? Is it really for her or is it for you, because you enjoy seeing her so sexy?
6. Stalking Her
You don’t want her to stalk you, then don’t stalk her. Let her enjoy her life with a little privacy; there are things that you don’t need to know. You are not the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man that can get away with stalking his girlfriend. Women hate this, because they are not comfortable and they felt betrayed. She might think that her partner is sending a message that he does not trust her or she is destined to make mistakes. Again, she has her own life and there are things that she does not need to share. Men have secrets, too. Another thing that will make her uncomfortable is that stalking is actually creepy and an indication of obsession, which can spook her out. Just let her share the things that she wants to share with you.
5. Being Too Cheesy
Women love sweet guys and sweet gestures, but they hate guys that are too cheesy. Romance does not mean that a man should do cheesy things that can make the woman feel awkward. At first, being too sweet and cheesy during the first stage of the relationship can feel so romantic, but as the relationship goes on, cheesy lines and cheesy gestures can be so awkward, and sometimes annoying. This does not mean that the woman is already falling out of love. This only means that the relationship does not focus on intimacy.
So, how can men show their love without being too cheesy? Focus on simple things that can always make her happy. Hug her and tell her what she means to you. As long as you understand each other, the romance will never die.
4. “You Are Better Than My Ex”
If you say these words, you are totally screwed. Although you think that this is a compliment, women do not think that at all. Your girlfriend or wife will think that you are comparing her to your ex-girlfriend. You hate being compared, then don’t compare her to other people, especially your ex. This can send a message that you are still thinking of your ex and not able to get over her. As much as she does not want to hear that you are praising your ex, she does not want to hear how terrible she was, too. The same goes for bringing up your ex in conversation. It will never yield good results, no matter how much you make it sound positive.
3. “I am Better Than Your Ex”
Don’t bring exes up. It is also crucial to remember that women are not comfortable when their exes are being brought to the table, as if their partner is declaring that he is better than any other man that was in her life. By bringing this up, men are just comparing themselves to the ex and both of you will never be able to move forward. So stop focusing on exes and just focus on the much more important things – like your relationship.
Also, don’t consider picking a fight with her ex-boyfriend, because she might feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. However, if the ex is bothering both of you and can’t seem to move on with his life, give him what he deserves.
2. Social Media PDA
In today’s modern world of virtual sharing, it is now easier for people to express themselves to another person. Thanks to social media platforms, it is now easier to know that a person is in a relationship, because of the photos they share online. While it is good to let the world know that you love someone, it is bad to overshare your feelings on social media and let the world know. It can be annoying and uncomfortable, not just for your girlfriend or wife, but also for other social media users, because they actually don’t care about your relationship. Posting on her wall and conversing on comment threads can be a form of oversharing. Remember, a simple photo and a simple caption is the best thing to share on social media – no drama and no novel-like posts.
1. Public Displays of Affection Anywhere
Public displays of affection (PDA) are not just happening online, they are happening everywhere. Being sweet and cuddling a lot makes a girl feel loved, but that does not mean that you need to show that kind of love in public. This will just make her uncomfortable, mainly because people will stare at both of you, especially if the PDA is really bad. A woman does not like people staring at her, because she already knows that the people staring at her are judging her – her personality and her character – based on the PDA.
Also consider the people around you. They might feel really awkward watching PDA and that is not cool. Just remember that holding a woman’s hand in public is enough to make her feel loved – no cuddling and no kissing required.
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