If you are one of the many ladies who swoon over Taylor Lautner’s physique in the Twilight series, you are most likely familiar about his role as the ‘Alpha’ male in the pack of werewolves. As an alpha, his character is the strongest, most powerful, and an obvious leader. This is how most people see an ‘alpha’. While most people associate this term to describe a man, more and more individuals are getting used to using the phrase ‘alpha female’ to describe majority of today’s woman — confident, driven, no-nonsense, and knows exactly what she wants and how to get it. This dramatic shift can be attributed to the change in gender and social roles in the modern society.

The dictionary of Psychology defines alpha female as the dominant female in a group. They are women who stand out in a crowd. You can easily spot them a hundred miles away because they have indescribable qualities that make people drawn to them. They do not have to shout, make a scene, or wear flamboyant outfits to be noticed; they are just naturally eye-catching. Alpha females usually dominate business meetings, social gatherings, and even romantic relationships they are involved in. Men are in awe watching them walk into the room, carry a conversation, and relate to people.

Are you an alpha female? Is your boyfriend fortunate enough to date an exceptional lady among the almost 4 billion females in the world? Read on and find out if the 15 signs listed below describes how you are in a relationship!

15. She is unapologetic about who she is, and doesn’t give a fig about what other people are thinking.

Many women try to change their appearance, hobbies, and even their entire social circle when they start dating to suit; or complement their partner’s preference and style. But an alpha woman is confident about who she is and wouldn’t dare change herself just to please a man. Although an alpha female wouldn’t mind improving to be better, she is clear about her intentions! She is changing for herself and not to please others, even if it is her mate. She may be confident about her own skin, but she is never cocky or condescending because she talks, acts, and thinks without any intention of demeaning others. When people talk behind her back she doesn’t lose sleep over it since she knows the truth and that’s enough for her.

14. She drives without stopping.

An alpha female is naturally driven and passionate about all the things she cares about. Which is why she has no trouble giving her all to ensure that she will be successful in everything she sets her mind to; whether it involves achieving her life goals, excelling in her career, or engaging in a meaningful relationship. Her drive comes from within, as she is motivated to succeed for its own sake. Given that an alpha female is intrinsically motivated, she is not easily discouraged when faced with setbacks and problems. As a girlfriend, she does not easily give up on the relationship but works hard to make it successful, which is why she has no regrets when and “what ifs” when it eventually comes to an end.

13. She is not easily swayed, but has no trouble compromising if need be.

Try watching romcom movies that feature a high school jock whose girlfriend worships everything about him, including the ground he walks in. You will notice that the girl is always submissive and has only one reply to her boyfriend’s statements demands – “Yes, I agree!”. While the girl in the movie may look slightly cute and all, an alpha girlfriend wouldn’t be caught dead doing it, because she has a mind of her own and she’s not ashamed to tell her partner what she thinks, even if it means contradicting him. An alpha female has certain beliefs and she has serious reasons why she holds on to them, which is why it is almost impossible to sway her. Nonetheless, she is not completely inconsiderate not to get engaged in a compromise if it is absolutely necessary and unavoidable.

12. She wouldn’t tolerate drama and superficial nonsense in a relationship.

Many romantic relationships are filled with drama and petty issues because many girlfriends do not know how to effectively communicate how they feel or they are too afraid that their partner would get upset and eventually leave them. They become relationship martyrs who whine, and keep problems to themselves until they eventually blow up. An alpha female is nothing like them, considering that she calls it as she sees it. She is not the type to engage in petty arguments just to put a “spice” in a relationship. She clearly knows if there is a problem that needs addressing, or if her boyfriend is just giving her a hard time. An alpha girlfriend is sensible and rational, which is why she has no trouble leaving her partner if the relationship is truly lacking substance.

11. She’s not into denial and running away.

Conflicts and problems are normal in any romantic relationships. While other women would turn to denial as a defence mechanism, not only to protect the relationship but also to protect their ego from getting hurt, an alpha female will never run away or deny that a problem exists. When conflicts and issues arise, she will tackle them head on and without pretension, because she believes that you cannot properly deal with a problem if you are not honest enough to admit what it is really about. This quality can be challenging for boyfriends who are immature and would rather talk about “happy” things than dwell on serious discussions, but it is a definite advantage for men who are looking for a mature and worthwhile romantic relationship.

10. She has genius-level EQ.

Most women struggle to find and maintain steady, meaningful relationships because they have difficulty managing their own emotions and relating to other people. An alpha female has no such issue considering that she has high emotional intelligence. This means she has the ability to control her emotions, to see through the actions of others, and to rationally weigh the pros and cons of any situation. You wouldn’t catch an alpha girlfriend shouting and crying in public, or act very irrational just because she and her boyfriend are having troubles. As a person with superior EQ, she has great control and discernment of proper and most rational behavior. This strength of hers enables an alpha female to clearly see if a relationship worth saving or if her boyfriend is worth dumping.

9. She is filled with boundless energy and positive vibes.

An alpha woman is not scared of anything apart from wasting time and not living her life to the fullest; which is why she is always full of energy and life. She is the type of girlfriend who can still attend her boyfriend’s company party with a cheery smile on her face, and tell amusing and intelligent stories all night long; even after having a difficult day in the office. Unlike some women who are prone to whining and complaining about their day, the moment they meet their partners an alpha girlfriend always sees the bright side of things, and hardly ever spends her time sulking in front of her boyfriend.

8. She can survive a night alone and wouldn’t cling to her man like glue.

Most girlfriends act like parole officers because they demand to be regularly updated about what their boyfriends are doing or their current whereabouts. They are constantly on their mobile phones waiting for a call or a text message; and when they receive none, they are instantly on edge and ready to bite anybody who comes near them. An alpha female, on the other hand, lives independently even if she is in a relationship. Her life does not revolve around her boyfriend. She does not feel insecure or jealous even if her partner is having fun without her. In fact, she enjoys time alone with herself every once in a while. Remember that famous Jerry Maguire line, “You complete me”? It does not apply to the alpha girlfriend.

7. She has no qualms admitting her mistakes.

One sure way to separate a genuine alpha girlfriend from a wannabe, is to their attitude when they make a mistake. Alpha-wannabees believe that to be strong and fierce means being perfect, and not being caught committing a mistake. Which is why they have the tendency to be defensive, and be in denial when they eventually make one. A true-blue alpha woman has no problem admitting her mistakes, and apologizing to her boyfriend immediately. She knows that true strength and courage does not lie in being perfect, but in having the guts to own up to one’s mistakes and correcting them as soon as possible.

6. She wouldn’t be caught dead begging for attention.

There are women who have no trouble coming up with different schemes or trying out new things just to get the attention of her man. Some of them even go to the extent of completely humiliating themselves just to get noticed, but an alpha female wouldn’t even think about begging or working for her boyfriend’s attention. She believes in herself and she knows she is worth desiring so any action that resembles begging for love and affection is a total no-no. As the famous quote by author Mandy Hale says, “You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows.”

5. She is not interested in a catfight.

There are times when boyfriends try to pin her girlfriend against another woman. Some women even enjoy this because they see it as a chance to show their superiority. They will put down the other girl in front of their boyfriends, they will show how they are prettier, sexier, and more desirable. An alpha female would have none of this drama. She knows who she is, and she respects other girls. She does not have the need to bring down others just so she can feel good about herself. She is intrinsically confident and would rather empower other women than compete with them.

4. She is a gifted decision maker.

An alpha female is a born leader. She has an innate ability to view things in various perspective, to weigh the pros and cons, and come up with the best solution that will bring the most benefit to everyone involved. This is the reason that alpha girlfriends tend to be the primary decision maker in their romantic relationship. Others may see this to be a domineering attitude, but her boyfriend usually doesn’t mind following her lead since she has the skill to rationally, and effectively, explain why she came up with the decision and her manner of delivery is not demeaning to her partner.

3. She celebrates her partner’s success.

There are relationships wherein the girlfriend and boyfriend compete against each other as to who is the best, especially if they happen to be in the same career. An alpha female would never involve herself in such petty contests. She has a clear appreciation of who she is and what she brings to the table, that she is not intimidated by another person’s success; especially not by her boyfriend. Instead of being threatened or feeling insecure, she will be the first in line to congratulate and cheer her partner’s success.

2. She is calm and collected amidst surprising and nerve-wracking situations.

Like a star that brightly twinkles when the night is at its darkest, an alpha female shines best when the road is scary and difficult. Unlike most girlfriends who act as if they are damsels in distress in front of their boyfriends, an alpha girl is always calm and collected. She is not the type that readily freaks out when faced with unexpected events. Her high emotional intelligence and rational personality, significantly help an alpha woman to readily weigh things and stay graceful under pressure. While a reassuring hug or a comforting whisper from her boyfriend wouldn’t hurt, she can overcome everything even without them.

1. She knows and values what is truly important.

Most people think that an alpha female only cares about success and achieving everything life has to offer; hence the impression, that she is difficult to be in a relationship with. The truth is, an alpha woman is not the least bit concerned about “achieving everything”, but in achieving success in everything that is important. Since she has a clear knowledge and appreciation of who she is, she knows exactly what things are important to her, and how she can be successful in all of them. This is the reason why an alpha girlfriend has no problem being amazing in her career while being an awesome girlfriend at the same time.