So you’re at a point in your life where you’re probably ready to tie the knot and start a family. Maybe you feel like you’re getting old or maybe you’ve been too many times a bridesmaid and never a bride. Maybe you’re tired of seeing all of your closest friends and colleagues tie the knot while you wait for your time. There’s only one problem – you might be in the right state of mind, but you’re not quite sure if you’ve got the right partner. This is a pretty big problem to have! I mean, this is the person you’re marrying and it takes two to make a marriage work.
So before taking the next step, you might want to examine your relationship and consider some important things about whether or not he’s really husband material. For example, is he really someone you can see yourself living with and sharing responsibilities with for the rest of your life? Can you see him fathering your future children and being a part of your family, and vice versa? To better help you, here are fifteen signs that he might not be husband material.
15. He’d Rather Play Video Games
Video games are a fun hobby regardless of your gender, but they should be just that – a hobby and NOT an obsession (unless this obsession is putting food on the table, of course). Let’s face the facts… there’s nothing productive about playing video games unless it’s a mutual favorite hobby between the both of you. But even so, this particular hobby doesn’t help you stay in shape and doesn’t advance your career or education. So, if it’s an obsession, feel free to express your disapproval and if he can’t kick this bad habit to the curb, then you’ll see that he’s definitely not husband material.
14. His Bros Always Come First
Maybe this will be the weekend that he’ll decide to plan an extravagant getaway or date for the both of you. Think again… he’s already made plans with his bros and it sounds much more exciting than anything he’s ever done with you. Or maybe you just need a companion at the moment but instead he’s out living it up with his buddies (even worse if his buddies are female). You’re obviously not first priority and this will unlikely change when you tie the knot. Guys who prioritize their bros are always going to be a guy’s guy – and not husband material.
13. He Tunes You Out
It’s not you. All women and even some men want to feel heard when they have something important to share. If he’s just not a good listener (which would describe most men), then have an open dialogue about how you’re feeling. Someone who sincerely cares about you will try their best to meet you half way. Give him a chance to try and change his poor listening habits, but if he intentionally tunes you out all the time regardless of how often you beg for a listening ear, then he will likely never change. If you don’t feel like he’s interested in listening to you, then he’s probably just not husband material.
12. He Disrespects Women
Is he always disrespecting the women around him whether or not he knows them? Perhaps he belittles or considers women second-rate and has quite a potty mouth when it comes to speaking of them. Or maybe he has no ounce of chivalry in him whatsoever. If this is the case, are you sure you want to be with someone like this, let alone tie the knot? He sounds like someone who needs to be taught a serious lesson about respecting women. If he doesn’t respect women in general, then he’s definitely not going to respect his future wife and is definitely NOT husband material.
11. He Still Has Wandering Eyes
A guy who can’t be with you without staring at every bust or booty that passes by is an odd guy to be in a relationship with. Are you sure you want to tie the knot with him? He can’t even give you his full attention while you’re on a date, let alone resist giving attention to other women. This is not good. While you might be used to it if this describes your significant other, I know I wouldn’t make it past the first date. Someone who is constantly attracted to other women might not be ready to tie the knot with a single woman.
10. You Can’t Be Yourself Around Him
Maybe you just haven’t been together long enough and don’t know each other well enough. This could very well be a timing issue and not necessarily that he’s not the right guy. You might want to give it some time and see how the relationship naturally progresses. But if you’ve been with each other for quite some time already and still don’t feel comfortable being yourself around him, then it doesn’t sound like a very positive relationship to be in. If he’s judgmental, or if you can’t even have a relaxed conversation, then you might not want to spend the rest of your life with this guy.
9. He Doesn’t Get Along with Your Friends & Family
Unless you’re ready to permanently say ‘goodbye’ to those closest to you, you probably don’t want to tie the knot with someone who’s constantly at odds with them. Perhaps they’re always disagreeing or maybe even always arguing with one another. Although you might want to work on getting the two parties to come to terms with one another, it’s really not your job. People who love and care about you will want to make an effort to invest in those closest to you. And vice-versa, you’d want to do the same. If he’s not making any progress with those closest to you, then he’s probably not husband material.
8. He Hides A LOT from You
Secrets are a definite no-no in any serious relationship. If you feel like he’s constantly hiding things from you, then you definitely have trust issues. Successful relationships don’t thrive on a lack of trust – in fact, it’s one of the necessary components of a thriving relationship. Sure, you don’t want to go all mommy on him and ask him to fork over every detail about his day. But if you’re suspicious about something and normally don’t ask many questions, then it’s definitely okay to probe for more information. If he’s constantly dodging your questions or refusing to provide more details, then he’s definitely not husband material.
7. You Feel Like You’re Just Settling
Now, you might want to examine your standards and make sure that they’re not just impossible to meet. If this is the case, you might need to adjust your standards and think about what is realistic unless you’re okay with the possibility of life-long singleness. There might not be any guy out there who would be able to meet those ridiculous expectations. But if your standards are pretty normal and you’re just looking for a match in education, career, or religion, then these are acceptable standards. You definitely don’t want to tie the knot with someone who makes you feel like you’re settling on something that means a lot to you.
6. You Argue with Him Way Too Much
Studies have shown that the top two traits of successful, lasting relationships are laughter and friendship. If you argue more than you laugh with or enjoy the other person, then you might not want to tie the knot with him. Every relationship endures a few arguments and it takes overcoming them to really thrive. But if your relationship is constantly enduring unhealthy arguments, then this might actually be a sign of a toxic relationship. Arguments can really destroy your relationship at any point in time. You might want to reexamine whether or not you want to tie the knot with this guy.
5. He Has Commitment Issues
Perhaps he has a history of short-term relationships or no real relationship at all. This is already a sure sign that he probably has some serious commitment issues. Or maybe he never wants to engage in a conversation about taking the next step or tries to talk you out of labels. It may not be very important to him, but if it’s important to you, then it’s a conversation worth having. If he continues to dodge the topic, or if you feel like you constantly have to persuade him into taking that next step, then he’s probably not husband material.
4. You Don’t Know When or If He’ll Ever Change
Let’s face it… everyone knows you can’t change a person. But a person who really loves you might want to change (for better) himself for you, and vice versa. If it’s a particularly bad habit (drugs, hostility, jealousy, etc.) that needs to hit the road, then it’s totally worth waiting to see if he’ll change. But if he’s telling you over and over again that he’ll change, or if you’re constantly asking him to change, then you can expect that change won’t be coming anytime soon (if ever). If there’s one thing that’s certain, it’s that he’s definitely not husband material.
3. He Has No Drive or Motivation
Being with a man who lacks any drive or motivation is like drinking a full cup of flat soda. A complacent man is easy to spot. He doesn’t enjoy learning, doesn’t engage in any productive activities, and doesn’t advance in his career or education. He’s okay with mediocre and doesn’t ever want more or better for himself. The opposite of a complacent man is a driven man, and it’s very inspiring to be in a relationship with one. Even if his dreams and ambitions don’t always work out, at least he is driven by productive and creative ideas. This makes for an exciting and encouraging relationship.
2. He’s Unemployed and Not Looking
From a young age, we’ve all been told that money can’t buy love and while this is true, a true love would do everything he could to give you the entire world. Sure, it’s normal to have some gaps on your resume and periods of unemployment. You don’t have to be upset with a guy who unexpectedly gets laid off or needs to take some time to focus on a career change. But if you’re with a guy who’s legitimately unconcerned about earning a living or paying his own bills, then it’s very unlikely that he’s anywhere near husband material.
1. Too Many Red Flags
At the end of the day, trust your instincts when it comes to tying the knot. No one knows your relationship better than yourself and if you’re not one-hundred percent sure about it (or him), then perhaps it’s not the right time or person. Marriage really is a life-long and serious commitment, regardless of how you see it played out in the media. No one wants to think about the possibility of a divorce when they get married because divorces are complicated and expensive, especially if you’re not a celebrity. So if you’re seeing all the red flags now, then he’s probably not quite husband material.
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