Whether a married couple has had several years of enjoyment due to marriage, or are a couple in a relationship, a woman will have the desire to start a family at some point. Many women wonder what the other person will be like as a father. A woman thinks her partner is the ideal man, and she envisions the happy twosome will start a family someday. Many women picture their other half nurturing sweet little ones and being a rock-star father. When a daydreaming woman starts to picture her partner as a potential father, she has to take a close, good look at him. If she desires her partner to be a picturesque dad, she has to examine his actions and behaviors to see if they have a realistic, good, and clear picture of life when they welcome a kid into the family. Do the actions and behaviors he has now suggest that he would share in the late-night feedings or are his actions showing he will put his head on his pillow and snore every time? Is he willing to help soothe the baby to sleep, change diapers, or partake in bonding time? He needs to let the baby into his pack and play with the child when watching football with his friends. A father plays a great role in the life of the child. It is crucial to take a hard, good look at your other half. So here are 16 signs to look for that will show you he will be a terrible father.

15. He doesn’t follow through on anything.

Following through with all things is a crucial trait that a good dad needs to have. In case following through is the thing he is struggling with, the chances are that transforming into a dad’s role will be tough for him. Does your partner start a project only to leave it by the roadside when the going is getting tough? Does he purchase health foods and a membership to a place where he can exercise on a regular basis, only he never goes to the gym, and the veggies are rotting in the fridge while he is munching on Big Macs? Will he become excited about starting a business, but trashes the idea when he realizes that it will be a lot of hard work? While he might have good intentions, giving up should not be an option when the going gets tough. The fact remains that the going will be tough when children are in the picture.

14. He is extremely selfish and doesn’t think of other people.

Selfishness is not necessarily bad. Everybody needs to be selfish at some point in their life, because we all need certain things. However, if the man continuously puts himself first, chances are that it will be tough for him to be a dad. In case he prefers spending his money and not saving it, or does not spend time doing the things you want, those are signs that indicate he will not be a good dad. If he possesses the me mentality, this is an indication that fatherhood is not an option. If he lives in his universe and doesn’t let anyone in, this will not be good for the baby. Not being selfish will make him a good dad because he will formulate a common bond shared with the kids that puts the interests of the children before his own needs. But if your partner is selfish, this will make your man the worst dad ever.

13. Patience is not his virtue.

Patience is a virtue when it comes to kids. Your partner may lose his patience or snap when someone repeatedly cuts him off while driving. That does not indicate that he is not father material. But if he has a severe case of road rage when letting kids out of the car, or when children are crossing the road, then patience is not his virtue. Patience is not a virtue just when children come into play, but it is a necessity to have it in a relationship between a man and a woman. Toddlers move around slowly because their legs are short, babies cry when they cannot communicate, and the little ones make a mess when playing. If he snaps when the kid cries or yells at them when they are lagging behind, or melts down when toys are all over the place, he will have a challenge being a father. It is crucial to have patience when you are a father, and this virtue needs to be in the man you plan to be with for the rest of your life.

12. He gets sick at messy little things.

A man that gets groggy when the word vomit, pee, or poo is mentioned is not ready to be a dad. To be honest, nothing is appealing about pee, poop, or vomit, and no one likes dealing with it. Nevertheless, they are part of handling children. If he tosses in the towel every time the baby spits up, pees through their clothes or has to change diapers, then parenting is not for him. To be a parent, you need an iron stomach because you may turn green when faced with gross things from children. You need to stomach them as it is part of parenting. Stomaching most of these things will help you know if your partner is ready to be a dad. If he can’t stomach messy things then being a dad is not in his makeup. Being a dad that can put up with gross things are the biggest part of raising a kid.

11. He doesn’t save his money; he spends it all.

It is not surprising to note that children cost a lot of money. Additionally, while it is true that it is tough to formulate a realistic budget, it becomes worth it to give it a try. Yes, it is okay for the man to spend his money on himself; but, if each dime he is making is spent on himself and not the things that the family requires, or saving towards their future, chances are that he is not ready to spend his money on children. A dad needs to be responsible financially. In case the mother is the only breadwinner, it is great; but the dad needs to be responsible and frugal with the amount of money he brings into the house. This is especially true if you are expecting children to come into your family shortly.

10. He doesn’t give of his money, time, knowledge or assistance.

Children are a massive responsibility that require a lot of work. In order for a mother to keep her sanity, she will have to rely on the assistance of the father. If the man continues adding dishes to the sink and wants her to wash them, if he is not helpful when it comes to taking out the garbage, or if he keeps his underwear and socks balled up in his pants, he is not the ideal candidate for a dad. Additionally, if you have to keep reminding him about mowing the lawn or he does not contribute to any of the things mentioned above before the arrival of your kids, the chances are that he will not provide any contributions when children come into the picture. You need to remember that when children are around, they come with a lot of responsibility. If he doesn’t contribute to helping out with the children, the woman will go mad when kids come.

9. He procrastinates and he is lazy.

Everybody can be lazy once in a while. Everybody needs to unwind and allow their gears to rest. However, if the main hobby of the man is laziness, it is not a good idea for him to become a father. Does he choose sitting on the couch immediately when he gets free time instead of helping out with things that need to be done around the home? Or does he tell you to give him the remote that is on the coffee table while he is sitting on the couch when you are cooking? If this happens, then being a dad is going to be a tricky transition for him. A man cannot be lazy when he is planning to become a father. He needs to be a shaker and a mover. He needs to jump at the drop of the hat, especially when the toddler seems to be getting into dangerous situations.

8. He’s not a neat and clean person.

If you have a man who was an outright slob, this will make parenting quite difficult. Children are worthwhile and adorable. But children are completely messy. If the man cannot keep the house and himself clean, then he will not keep the house clean when children arrive. There is a sure chance that he can change. But when you ask him to change his ways frequently and want him to make a more conscious effort of cleaning himself up, there are chances that he will not change when children come. He may change his good-for-nothing ways, but the chances that he will slip back into his old behavior when children arrive is quite possible. This means the house will be messier and there will be more aggravation when children come into the house. When a man is not neat and clean, he makes a terrible father.

7. He is out of control and a neat freak.

Being a slob and being a neat freak are signs that he is not ready to be a dad. Kids are unorganized. They make huge messes. They will throw toys all over the living room, walls will be drawn on, mud will get stuck all over the floor, and things will be taken from their places. If a man has to have everything perfect around the house 24/7, and if he cannot stand when there are specks of dirt on the floors, he is not ready to be a father. If he gets into panic mode when things spill on his shirt, then getting him into the role of being a father will be a tough transition. Being a neat freak seems like a likable thing when cleaning up after children, but it will be a negative trait when the man freaks out immediately when he notices a mess or a drink is placed on the table without a coaster.

6. Your partner thinks you should look pretty all the time.

The man that thinks that the woman has to be put together will be in for a rude awakening immediately when children arrive. Even a perfectly polished, well-dressed woman will have days when she does not get dressed up, when she will not wear makeup, and when her hair is not washed. Many moms that would dress up to the hilt, will trade in their stilettos and their skinny jeans for sweaters and sweatpants when they have kids. Babies need too much attention, are exhausting, and are a lot of work. An exhausted, stressed out, and overworked mom will not spend time on looking her best. It will be tough for her to find the time to be all dolled up. She will spend her time singing and making silly faces just to make the baby laugh.

5. Both of you have a hard time talking to one another.

Communication is critical in any relationship and is vital for parents. If communication is an issue in your relationship, it will be an issue after the children come. A woman and man need open communication lines, especially when children come into your life. Both parties need to know how to handle problems with children, how to raise the family and figure out a way of dealing with a person that is overwhelmed. The only way to get answers is through having discussions. Parenting requires clear communication and this is something many couples are struggling with. Many have become parents and never discussed the way of raising their families, their ideas, or how to handle big things. Parents need to compromise and coordinate. If both have a tough time making decisions in reference to what they will have for dinner on a regular basis, then it will be difficult for both of them to communicate with each other when children arrive.

4. He is defensive about everything.

If your partner gets defensive over little things, chances are that he will have a hard time being a good father. If a woman is asking a question to a man who is very defensive, he will take those questions as a form of insult. For instance, if a woman asks her partner when the last time the kids were fed, the man may think that the woman is talking to him as if he does not know anything about caring for his children. The defensiveness of the man might lead to bad arguments and make him extremely angry. If a man is angry all the time, this will end up making the parenting job more difficult for both the woman and the man. Not only will it be difficult for the couple, but it will be difficult for the children. The children will also feel like the father is neglecting them and that the mother is the only one who cares.

3. He expects to be waited on every single moment.

A man that expects a woman to wait on him hand and foot is probably not going to be a good father. It is a wonderful thing for a woman to do things for the man in her life, but when her partner expects that she will do things for him constantly, like making sure that all the shirts are pressed, having dinner on the table, and always keeping the drinks full, it will cause massive problems when parenting comes into the picture. Children require tons of attention and have many demands that need tending to. When a child is present, the man that expects the woman to wait on him hand and foot will be in for a wakeup call after finding out that she is taking care of the kids more than taking care of him. The woman will be in for a rude awakening when she realizes that her partner doesn’t consider taking care of the children as equal responsibility for the both of them.

2. He doesn’t take care of his partner’s needs.

Women possess needs and should be taken care of by their partner. If the man does not tend to the needs of his partner, it becomes a strong sign that he is not cut out for being a father. From labor and delivery, to recovery and the rearing of children, a woman has so many needs. The man should assist his partner so that the duties of being a parent won’t crush them both. If a man is not willing to attend to the requirements of his partner, then he will not be willing to attend to all the requests that the children have. Not tending to the requirements of your partner is a recipe for disasters when children are around. Not taking care of the woman’s needs will result in her resenting the man; she might even resent him because she has to take care of his requirements before the children.

1. He thinks it is a woman’s job to take care of the kids.

The man might have an idea of having children and raising a family. He might say that he is looking forward to being a dad. However, in case he thinks that the task of being a father involves interacting with children when it is convenient for him and thinks that the mother needs to be responsible for all of the activities, then this man will not make a good father. A father really needs to get involved with the children at all times. It includes feeding, changing diapers, helping with homework and rearing the children. It is a big responsibility for both the man and the woman when bringing children into the family. If the man thinks that raising the children is the responsibility of the woman, it should be an eye-opener because it shows that he is not fully invested in his responsibilities as a dad. His attitude will make the woman more resentful and more stressed when the baby comes.

Sources: cosmopolitan.com, huffingtonpost.com, telegraph.co.uk, express.co.uk, bustle.com