There’s a good reason why you don’t quite fit in with the rest of the world. That’s because studies have shown that extroverts make up about seventy-five percent of the population. And out of the other twenty-five percent, some are introverted extroverts (and not true introverts). That means you are truly a minority, or a rare species. But since you live in an extrovert’s world, you’re often misunderstood or expected to conform. You’re perhaps even judged as bitchy or anti-social. Whatever the label, don’t buy into the pressure.
The world needs more non-conforming introverts for a good reason. Introverts are the true definition of special. They are intuitive, reliable, and loyal… traits you seldom find in people these days. Also, some of the world’s most successful, intelligent, and creative people are also introverts including Kanye West, Meryl Streep, JK Rowling (author of Harry Potter), and Bill Gates.
So you really shouldn’t give two f***s about what anyone else thinks about your need to detox with some quiet me-time after being around too many people for too long. You’ve got real struggles that most people couldn’t relate with so don’t attempt to try and help them understand you. How do I know about this? Because I’m married to an absolutely wonderful man who is one hundred percent introverted and possesses all of the following fifteen unique qualities.
15. You’d Rather Netflix than Party
Time and space alone are golden. Your ideal Friday night consists of Netflix binging in your sweatpants while sipping on your favorite wine and Googling random shit. So when your semi-likeable co-worker texts you to grab a beer or hit the clubs at 7:30 pm, you’re wondering why she doesn’t have a life of her own outside of work. Doesn’t everyone need some wind-down time? In reality, no. Most of the world is extroverted AF and feeding off of other people’s energy. So before you get the life sucked out of you, go on ahead and ignore the texts. Bask in your me-time while you have it.
14. Nothing is on Your Mind
Because you’ve got little to say, everyone is always asking you what you’re thinking. And in all honestly, you’re not thinking about anything. Your mind is absolutely blank, but extroverts can’t accept this kind of answer from you. Extroverts are always thinking non-stop in their sleep and even while they’re talking, so they wouldn’t believe you or would think you’re just being shy when you say that you’ve got nothing on your mind to share. What you’ve got is a rare and unique gift… one of the biggest boxes in your brain is labeled “empty” and it’s your favorite one to go to any chance you get.
13. You’d Rather Not Get Tagged on a Facebook Post
When you’re out with a friend and ‘catching up’ over coffee (but really, you’re just there to be her venting space), there are two absolutely terrible things that could possibly happen: 1) she asks you to take a selfie, and 2) she posts the selfie on FB or IG and publicly tags you. Wasn’t the quality time enough? Now you have to devise a plan to get that shit off your public feed without hurting her feelings. Do you just untag yourself, or PM her to take it down? But you don’t really have the balls to do either. Instead, you decide to reset your privacy settings so this kind of shit doesn’t happen again.
12. Others Trust You Way More Than You Trust Them
In fact, your secret life motto is “trust no one” but no one needs to know that. If life were a game of Mafia, you’d kick ass at being the mafia. Everyone trusts you because you’re ‘not a threat’ and you appear to be a good listener but the truth is that you really just don’t give a shit. As long as you’re not the one have to do the talking, you don’t mind random strangers telling you their deepest, darkest secrets. But you’d never tell them any of yours. In fact, opening up makes you feel awkward. You’d rather take your secrets with you to the grave.
11. Personality – What is That?
Everyone else has a unique, colorful personality except for you. Your energy exudes the color gray, which isn’t a color at all but, like the honey badger, you don’t give a shit. You don’t need to prove to the world that you’re anybody special. You’d rather be in the shadows, blend with the walls, and use your invisible powers whenever possible. In fact, the worst thing that could ever happen to you in a group setting is for the spotlight to somehow mistakenly shine upon you. Presenting something interesting would take everything out of you and possibly require a Xanax.
10. Smart Phones Are the Greatest Invention Ever
Whoever invented the smart phone was a fucking genius and was most likely an introvert as well. It’s the best way to be present without having to actually be present. Don’t want to socialize? Get out your smart phone and make it known. And if some persistent extrovert still has the nerve to interrupt your phone time, then try to act like you’re super busy responding to an urgent email or something. Maybe they’ll go away. No introvert wants to attend a company luncheon or roommate’s wedding by choice, but there are some things in life you just can’t escape.
9. You Hate Small Talk With A Passion
Just the thought of engaging in small talk makes you anxious. When you’re at a company or family engagement that you can’t get out of, your survival tactic is to avoid eye-contact at all cost especially with the Chatty Cathy’s who talk a mile a minute and can go on forever about God knows what. If you’re going to have to listen to something, it should at least be a real conversation and not random shit about the weather, their ugly pets, or some political opinion you could care less about. Time to get out that good ole smart phone.
8. You’re an Observant Sherlock Holmes
You’re the friend that always notices when someone gets a new haircut, loses a few pounds, or when they’re just having a really bad day. You’re so much more observant than everyone else around you that it makes them look dumb. That’s why you’d totally slay at a mystery dinner and would probably have a hell of a good time. You have other people’s mind games all figured out and you’re six steps ahead of them. But you’re not just a good listener, you can see into people’s souls and figure them out, which is why you trust no one.
7. Indecisiveness Annoys You
While your friends are texting each other back and forth about where to eat for dinner and what to watch at the theatre afterwards, you already know exactly what you want to do and what you don’t want to do. But you’ll let them have the discussion anyway and wait for the right time to insert your opinion. Your mind has already been made and it probably will never change. Indecisive is the last word to describe you and it actually annoys the hell out of you. You roll your eyes whenever plans change at the last minute or when you’re ordering dinner with someone who can’t make up their mind.
6. You Can’t Handle Intense People
Being around angry and intense people is too much for you to handle and you’ll quickly need to retreat to a quiet place when you’re around them for too long. In fact, you’d rather avoid people that draw attention to themselves in general. When someone starts to get heated, you avoid making eye contact with them at all costs. You’re a pretty emotionally stable person, so you can quickly detect someone who’s emotionally unstable. Those kinds of people are exhausting and you wonder how they juggle so much shit in their lives when you can barely handle small group projects.
5. One or Two Close Friends is Enough
For some reason, people flock to you as if you’re wearing a shirt that says “desperate and lonely.” Get with the program, people. You’ve already got two friends and that’s more than you can handle. For you, making acquaintances is synonymous to making small talk. You already have trust issues and the only two friends you have are either related to you by blood or have spent a good ten plus years proving themselves to be of value to you. And who’s your absolute best friend in the whole world? Yourself. No one gets you like you do and that’s okay with you.
4. You Think A LOT Before You Speak
Opposite of your extroverted counterparts, you are not quick to speak. In fact, you’d rather not speak at all for fear of saying something dumb. So instead, you plan out exactly what you’re going to say in case you get called on at the next departmental meeting. What’s the worst thing that could happen? Probably that your extroverted co-worker cuts you off and takes the words right out of your mouth, leaving you anxious and without a plan for anything else to say. And without a plan, you end up mumbling, stuttering, or just playing mute. Now you really look like you’re not a team-player.
3. You’re Super Creative
Because you’re obviously not great at expressing yourself with words, you find it easier to express yourself through art. And you don’t dabble into multiple different hobbies at once like a Jack-of-all-trades either. You prefer to stick with one that you’re super passionate about whether it’s sewing, painting, or making music. Your art is your outlet and a great way to naturally de-stress from all the small talk. You’re like Kanye West who stated in an interview, “As a creative guy, sometimes it’s hard for me to small talk and ask what the weather is like.” Kanye, of course, is a super creative artist and a hugely successful musician.
2. You Tend to Date Extroverts
And it’s because you’re so introverted that only an extrovert could successfully pursue you and keep the relationship alive. If you were to ever pair up with another introvert, there would probably be long bouts of silence, an overwhelming lack of trust from both parties, and the relationship would eventually die off without a formal breakup ever taking place. What your extroverted partner probably loves about you most is your introversion. You keep them honest and grounded. Also, you’re reliable and super loyal. And this is another trait you happen to share with Kanye West who is also paired with an extrovert, Kim Kardashian.
1. You Roll Your Eyes When You Hear Extroverts Say that They’re Introverted
I once told my husband that I thought I was introverted. He rolled his eyes and laughed so hard. Only a true introvert can identify another one of his/her kind. So when you hear someone who is clearly an extrovert claim to be shy or introverted, you can’t help but slightly barf in your mouth. There’s no way an extrovert can relate with your daily struggles like social anxiety. You might as well ask, “Are you sure?” And follow that up with an, “I don’t think so.” It’s a bold claim considering only a very small population of the world is truly introverted. You know this fact to be true and it makes you slightly proud despite the few times you wished you were somewhat extroverted. Very few times.
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