While no one on the planet has mastered the laws of attraction, there certainly are a lot of self-proclaimed experts out there. All of them seem to have one thing in common: manipulate the situation to get what you want. However, this doesn’t necessarily lead to long-term relationships or even substantial relationships. The power of manipulating a situation or a person is neat, and interesting to read about, but it won’t give you any kind of true feeling. If you’re manipulating someone, how do you know that anything they say is real? If you create the monster, you’ll never really know how she truly feels about you, so why bother with manipulation?

To get past all of these manipulation techniques and find the heart of the matter, it is important to pay attention to the wants and needs of the woman you are after. You definitely can have basically any chick you want, as long as you work for her. I know, I know, hard work sounds boring and stupid (sarcasm sounds on point). Every woman is different, so learning how to master some of these skills will help you meet your goals with the lovely lady you have your eyes on.

15. Get A Job

STOP! Before you get all “all women want is money” on me, it’s not about how much money you make or what kind of job you have. It’s about the fact that you should have a job. Being able to hold a job shows your ability to make and keep commitments. You don’t have to be a workaholic, or make six figures, you have to understand the importance of steady income, responsibilities, and meeting the demands of those you work for. Your ability to hold and maintain a job tells a woman a lot about you. Not only that, but it is also a great way to strike up a conversation with the girl of your dreams.

14. Pay Your Bills

Paying your bills is an essential life skill that everyone should get a handle on. Not just paying your bills, but paying them on time is a great way to show yourself and the women you’re trying to attract that you are responsible; you can meet deadlines; and you have the ability to understand the value of a dollar. Again, this has nothing to do with “all women wanting your money,” which isn’t a real thing. It’s all about your ability to take care of yourself, maintain your life, and take accountability for your actions. Additionally, when you’re able to pay your bills on time, you gain more confidence…which is always hot to women.

13. Exercise Cleanliness

Yeah, we want you to shower. It’s a thing. We kinda like it when guys smell good, or don’t smell bad. If you haven’t mastered personal hygiene just yet, it’s time to start your routine. Shave (if necessary), shower, brush your teeth, do your laundry (or have it done… either way, make sure your clothes are clean). Additionally, make sure your pad is clean. You don’t want to bring a girl to your place if she’s going to have to push a pizza box to the side to sit on your couch or step over your dirty clothes. Keeping you and your place clean is a great way to get and keep any chick you want.

12. Exercise in General

You don’t have to be super buff or have a six pack, but having some form of knowledge when it comes to your health is a great way to gain confidence and boost your own self-esteem. There is nothing more attractive than confidence (but not arrogance), and having that will give you the edge over any competition you might have with the chick you have your eye on. Additionally, it’s definitely important to pay attention to your health if you want to attract that chick you’re after, because it shows her that you take care of yourself.

11. Conversation Skills

You don’t necessarily need to be a smooth operator to get the girl, but you should have some skill when it comes to creating and maintaining a conversation. If you’re prone to awkward pauses, stumbling over your words, and a short attention span, find some ways to bounce back. Don’t just lose the conversation. Start coaching yourself. You know your own hang ups and the moments you start to stumble (when she asks you a question that you don’t want to answer or when she smiles and looks deep into your eyes). Come up with something to help you respond and you can overcome losing her attention with awkward moments.

10. Make Her Laugh

Everyone loves to laugh. If you know a little bit about the woman, you should know what gets her giggling. Because everyone loves to laugh, they do their best to be around those who make them laugh, it’s a gratification thing. So, figure out what makes the girl of your dreams laugh uncontrollably, and start capitalizing on that information. Research the topic or comedic genre. Watch her favourite funny movies and start quoting them. Now, you can definitely get her attention with this skill, but don’t overdo it, because you don’t want her to ONLY think of you as a clown. Create a great balance with comedy and intelligence.

9. Be Approachable

I can’t tell you how many potential relationships and/or hookups are lost because one of the people involved “seems” unapproachable. Forget what you heard in the manipulation manuals about playing hard to get and treating women like sh*t. Talk to her. Make yourself available for her to talk to you. If you make eye contact with her, smile at her. If you pass by her at the coffee shop, in the halls, or anywhere else, say hello and smile! It’s that simple. Being warm and approachable is a surefire way to grab her attention and ease her mind if she is the one who lacks confidence.

8. Be Confident in your own skin

As stated above, confidence is one of the most attractive personality traits a man can have…but remember, it’s confidence, not arrogance. While it is a part of your personality, for some, it is a skill to hone, because it doesn’t necessarily come naturally. Confidence in the dating world is, essentially, not showing fear in social situations. You don’t have to have a booming voice that talks over others around you. You simply have to gain the ability to be a part of the conversation. You don’t have to walk around with your chest puffed out, but good posture helps exude confidence. The great thing about confidence is that it can be faked to some extent. Don’t shy away when one of your buddies makes a joke. Roll your eyes at him, and continue what you’re doing. Confidence is key in getting that girl!

7. Be Comfortable In Social Situations

This is a subtle way of showing confidence. Being comfortable in a social situation will also make you more approachable. Additionally, when someone is uncomfortable, it can set the mood for the entire group. Discomfort seems to spread like a disease, and makes people want to be away from you. If you’re not a social butterfly, don’t worry, just do your best not to be in situations that make you uncomfortable, especially when the girl you like is nearby. Once you’re comfortable in social situations, make sure you are comfortable when you’re talking to her. If you’re fidgeting or avoiding eye contact, she will start overthinking the situation, and the communication will break down.

6. Start A Conversation

If conversation skills aren’t your strong suit, don’t get overwhelmed. You don’t need a cheesy pickup line or an “accidentally spilled drink” to get a conversation going. A well-known movie quote or a question or observation can get you where you need to go. Pick up on what she likes or dislikes and start the conversation. If she is looking at one of her friends weird, make a quick joke about what her friend is doing (don’t insult her friend too much, of course). When you start the conversation, you have a little bit of wiggle room on the direction of that conversation. Talk about the things you like, but don’t make it all about you.

5. Keep The Conversation Going

Remember, if you’re the conversation starter, you can steer the conversation one way or another. However, if you aren’t the conversation starter, you can still progress the conversation to something you’re more comfortable with. Find nice transition areas. If she says she likes Lord of the Rings, and you’ve never been into it, steer the conversation to something that you can actually talk about, like other epic journey books, games, tv shows, or movies. Figure out what is going to maintain the conversation, and don’t stop until last call. Then exchange phone numbers, or continue your conversation with her elsewhere.

4. Maintain Eye Contact

This is essential for showing confidence and gaining her trust. Not only is eye contact essential in most strong communication, it helps you give the girl peace of mind as she’s talking to you. She starts to trust you more, and follows your eyes wherever they go. Most people believe that the eyes are the window to the soul, and this girl is probably no different. If you avoid eye contact, she will think you’re hiding something. If you maintain eye contact, she will be more likely to continue a conversation with you. If you have trouble making and maintaining eye contact, a great trick is to look at the person’s nose or eyebrows. This will help you train yourself for eye contact.

3. Be Honest With Her

If you want to get the girl, be honest. You don’t have to give all your secrets away immediately. You don’t have to spill the details on your entire life in the first sitting, but honesty truly is the best policy in the world of attraction, dating and hookups. You don’t have to lie to get her into bed, and you shouldn’t lie to get her into bed. The brave new world of dating is an open and honest place, and that openness means you need to be yourself to get the girl. When you’re honest and genuine, it is more likely that you’ll get exactly what you’re looking for out of the girl you’re talking to.

2. Listen To Her

You can say this is just a woman writing about stupid things girls can’t define, but you would be wrong. When you listen to what she’s saying, your conversation skills will enhance tenfold. You’ll be able to understand what she is looking for, and assess whether or not you can deliver that for her. It’s not hard to listen to what she’s saying. However, paying attention to how she is saying it might be a skill that you’ll have to sharpen before you make your move. She is paying attention to what you’re saying and how you say it, and every move you make is being assessed as she figures out how she feels about you. You should be doing the same. You may find that, even though you had to have this chick, she really isn’t the right one for you (no matter what your goals were in the first place).

1. Exercise Self-Restraint When Necessary

The self-restraint I speak of comes in all forms. You should exercise self-restraint when it comes to being confident. If you act over-confident, she’ll see it as arrogance. You should exercise self-restraint when it comes to telling her what you want from her. If you go up to a girl and tell her you can’t wait to get her in bed, she may be turned off (even though this is honest, it might be best until the subject comes up, and even then, you might want to choose your words carefully here). You should definitely exercise self-restraint when it comes to getting physical too soon. Unwanted hand brushing, poking, and any other touch can be a huge turn off to girls. So, remember, pay attention to her body language, and you’ll know how much self-restraint you should exercise when you’re trying to get the girl.