Labels – one of the most important yet ever confusing parts of any budding relationship. At the start of any romantic relationship, determining whether you are friends or lovers can be difficult. Simply being nice to her sometimes doesn’t get the message across. Often, you need to be vocal about your feelings for her to have an idea. Although girls tend to assume, they won’t tell you about it. Moreover, just because she is hanging out with you, it doesn’t mean that she’s your girlfriend. Sometimes, that’s just it – she simply wants to hang out.

So, if you have all these romantic feelings for her, but you can’t quite put your finger on whether or not you’re together, read on. You should take the first step and initiate the ‘talk.’ It can be scary but that’s the only way to clear things up. When she ‘friend zones’ you don’t lose hope because, even if many are stuck in this phase, knowing a few of the following tricks can help you sneak out of it and become her boyfriend.

So, quit your sulking and do the following so you can escape the dreaded ‘friend zone’ quick.

15. Be bold about your intentions

The first thing you should do is to clear up everything. As you can see here, you should be vocal about your ‘intentions’ and not your ‘feelings’. Feelings are for women, you should not come off with those icky things because that tends to show you as weak.

Before you get what you want (and work hard to get it), it makes sense that you say what you want. You should not leave her puzzled and guessing. That is not for a manly man to do. Letting you guess is a woman’s game – as a man she’d want out of the friend zone, you should show her that you know what you want and you know how to get it.

14. Leave room for some mystery

Although you’ve cleared things up, you should still leave some room for mystery. How to do it? You should not have a strict schedule in doing things that she can easily predict. Don’t let her be able to read your next move that easily. Be spontaneous but make sure you make moves to shock and awe her. You should intrigue her otherwise she’ll get bored and just keep you in the friend zone as her boring friend.

Take note though that being mysterious doesn’t mean keeping secrets. You should be an open book in your intentions and be as honest as possible. But you should keep on surprising her and putting her at the edge of her seat.

13. Start saying ‘no’ to her

If you want her to see you as more than a friend then don’t act like a friend to her that says ‘yes’ to all her whims. You’re not a genie that grants all her wishes, you’re aiming to be her lover who’ll be there for her but you also want her to treat you the same way in return.

Moreover, if you start saying ‘no’ to her, she’ll start appreciating more the times when you say ‘yes’ to her. Leave her dangling just enough to want more of you. Don’t give her such easy access to you, and keep her guessing a little bit. She will be intrigued and subconsciously start seeking out more of your attention.

12. Date her

Yeah, you’ve been friends for some time now and you’ve probably gone out once or twice just the two of you but for her, it’s simply hanging out and nothing romantic. Then, go back to the first tip of being vocal. Make your intentions known so that if she agrees to go somewhere with you, it’s clear to her that it’s a date – that it’s something romantic.

You may think it’s awkward since your friends with her but if you really want to up the ante in your relationship, you should be a man and have the courage to ask her out on a date. Make her want to date you by showing her how fun you are on dates and that she’ll be missing out by saying ‘no’ to you.

11. Tease her

Starting flirting with her. Even with your words, you should already start teasing her and draw her attention to you. Be sweet but not all the time as that can get predictable and boring. Also, being too sweet can be icky. So be caring but not too much that it drives her away. A real man will tease her right but not to the point that you appear needy and can be annoying.

Send her a nice message from time to time. Call her every now and then. Leave sweet notes when the instance calls for it. However, do the teasing in moderation. Trust me moderation will go a long way. You don’t want to be forever friendzoned as the friend who never stops teasing and annoying her!

10. Be more ‘touchy’

Once you’ve confessed your intentions and you’ve gone out a couple of times, you should start with physical flirting. Break the touch barrier without coming off as sleazy by finding the perfect time. For instance, if you’re in a noisy club, get near her ear and whisper what you have to say. If you crack a joke, touch her arm as you laugh. Or one of the best times to break the touch barrier is by taking her dancing.

By doing this, it also allows you to find out if you are physically compatible before you actually get physical (when you’ve escaped the friend zone). Breaking the touch barrier at the right time takes away all the awkwardness even if you’ve started out as close friends.

9. Demonstrate independence

One of the least sexy characters that you can demonstrate is being clingy. If you show that you are super dependent on her, she’ll tend to move away from you. So, when in the friend zone, make sure that you show her that you can live without her. Actually, don’t just ‘show’ independence but ‘be’ independent. Live your life and have fun sans her. Keep in mind that you should build your own path, take it, and she should just want to join you on your journey. Once she sees that you can do without her, chances are, she’ll want to join you on your quest.

8. Don’t make her your world

Don’t make her the center of your universe. You know better than that. Also, that is creepy. So, stop stalking her social media account because then you’ll just feel sorry for yourself. Never put her on a pedestal but treat her as your equal. Don’t worship her.

If you start getting fixated on her, looking at her social media accounts often and thinking of her all the time, it’s time to tone it down. Distract yourself and find better things to do. You will have a hard time escaping the friend zone when you’re obsessed with her. You should feel okay sans her before you start climbing out of the friend zone.

7. Never beg

Remember that you’re trying to escape the friend zone and not trying to get stuck in it. So, never ever beg for anything from her, even for her time, attention, or just a ‘yes’ to go out with you. Don’t come off as desperate because that is a huge turn-off. If you show you’re desperate, you might not even make the cut as her friend so how will she see you as a romantic partner then?

Don’t try too hard so you don’t come off as needy and you don’t get disappointed too much as well. Remember, if she likes you, she’ll show it even with the littlest effort.

6. Never rant about being in the friend zone

Ranting is a sign of weakness. Don’t be that guy who acts like a girl when they are in a situation that they don’t like. You are a man so suck it up and do something about it to change the situation. Use your actions and not your words to escape the friend zone. If you rant, you’re no different then a whiny baby. She doesn’t want a baby, she wants a man who can take care of her and can keep things in control.

Also, you have no right to rant if you’re not doing anything to change the situation. And even if you’re actually putting the effort, shut your mouth if you’re just going to complain.

5. Hang out with other girls

Are you familiar with the ‘law of supply and demand’? This works even for guys who want to sneak out of the friend zone. If you go out with other girls, you become more likeable for the woman that you like. It’s like if more people want a limited product (which is you), the price of that product tends to get higher. If she sees that other girls find you attractive and easily flock to you, she’ll think that there must be something about you worth going out with.

Still, even when doing this, you should enjoy hanging out with other girls and not just for show. Don’t fake it and have a blast when you’re with them.

4. Be scarce

As in a relationship, if you’re always available, they tend to show you less importance. So, if you want to escape the friend zone, you should make yourself scarce. This way, when you do her a favor, meet her, or simply talk to her, she’d appreciate it more. Letting her miss you will make her want you more. If she doesn’t, at least it’s clearer now to you what you mean to her.

While scarce, there are lots of things you can do. One is you can use this time to improve yourself. Go to the gym. Travel. Find other hobbies. Heck, find other friends to spend time with.

3. Trigger her desire for you

For you to successfully escape the friend zone, you should learn how to make her want you. It may involve changing yourself physically to be more attractive, finding new hobbies to make yourself more interesting, traveling the world to have better stories to share, and more. The key here is to do something that also interests you that cultivates your personality to trigger her desire for you.

Remember to invest in yourself and not on her. If you show certain attractive changes, it will have ripple effects to her desire for you. You can work on the 90% but you should leave to her to give the 10% in order to transform the friendship into a romantic relationship.

2. Do things that surprise her

Every now and then, do some things that she’s not expecting. Since she’s your friend, you already have an idea of her attitude and how she expects things. So, when she least expects it, do nice things for her. For instance, on some random afternoon, bring her a cupcake with a sweet note. This will definitely paint a smile on her face. Or ask her to join you at the gym. This will make her feel that you want her to be part of what you do.

Don’t do her errands for her but you can volunteer to do them with her. This way, you also get to spend more time with her. She’ll see you more as a boyfriend if you do things together rather than a pathetic friend longing for her approval if you do everything for her.

1. Don’t be her ‘friend’

To avoid getting in the friend zone from the get go, don’t be her ‘friend’. What does this mean? Don’t let her treat you like a ‘friend’ but rather make it known to her that you want to be her romantic partner. Don’t be her crying shoulder such that she’d say all her rants to you but still she’d go out with another guy. Don’t be like a sponge that absorbs all her hang ups and coddles her. Make it obvious that it should be a two-way street. She should learn to treat you as an equal and not just as someone who’ll be there for her at her every beck and call.

If she wants a friend, let her get a friend, but that shouldn’t be you.