Have you ever broken up with a loved one? If you haven’t, you better have a go; it’s never easy when you get older. Relationships are great; they bring out a side that we hardly knew we had. It’s through a relationship that you realize how much one person can care for someone they hardly know. When relationships end, it’s never as rosy as when it all started; some relationships end so badly that someone has to go to jail. While it’s always a good idea for couples to evaluate their mistakes before they break up, some of the reasons people break up are downright petty. Well, it’s not like you need a solid reason to break up with someone. If it’s not working, it’s not working, and if you have tried everything and still don’t find a way forward, it’s usually better to go your separate ways.
Sometimes people break up for stupid reasons, and what makes this article more interesting is not only how stupid the breakup reasons were, but also some of the revenge stories. Breakups hurt, and sometimes the only way we can get closure is to get revenge. While revenge is never the better alternative, it normally makes up for a good story.
16. Called in at Work after I Skipped the 2nd Date
Sam, 32, didn’t have such a good Monday at work after breaking up with his girlfriend after the second date. This is a pretty funny story. Sam met this amazing girl at a work seminar, and after the first date, they hit it off. They were so in sync they decided to go on a second date, and this is where things got bad. Sam noticed his date had a snot bubble hanging out of her nose throughout the date. She went to the bathroom, and didn’t remove it because she either didn’t see it or ignored it. Either way, she had to go. She called in at Sam’s work Monday morning, and explained to the receptionists just how petty and mean Sam was.
15. Small Johnson
This is a low blow. Even if you just got dumped. You clearly did not have a problem with it when you were dating didn’t you? Eva, 23 got dumped by her boyfriend for being a lazy good-for-nothing girlfriend, and in retaliation, she went ahead and told all her ex’s friends and classmates he had a small Johnson. That’s a really low blow and an extremely petty thing to do just because you got dumped. Whether it’s true or not, he’s going to be single for quite some time until the PR storm is over.
14. Can’t Play Video Games
It has to be the most childish and petty reason for ever leaving anyone, but what makes it extremely interesting is the revenge. David’s new girlfriend can’t play video games; she has a really hard time trying to control the characters. David’s life is gaming; he simply can’t date a girl who can’t play games, so he decides to dump his girlfriend of two weeks just because she can’t play Call of Duty with him.
13. Left Him Because he was Overweight
This is extremely sad, and more so because the girl in question decided to date this guy knowing very well that he was overweight. Jade, 24, dated her boyfriend for six weeks but broke up with him after making love to him twice. While most people will break up with a spouse over a bad lovemaking experience, Jade did because her boyfriend was overweight, and kept complaining of a migraine every time they made love. She secretly rolled over and Googled the situation before breaking up with him. We still don’t know what the revenge story was, but it clearly made a stupid breakup story.
12. He Married my Doppelganger After I Dumped Him
This had to be the most interesting revenge story I have ever heard. So Elissa, 29, after dating her boyfriend of three months figured out that he wasn’t entirely what she was looking for in the bedroom, and she just found out from her friends that her boyfriend wasn’t entirely the best-looking guy around. She later dumped him only for him to marry a girl who looks weirdly like her two months later. It’s hard to figure out if this was a pure obsession, coincidence or just a creepy situation. All in all, it must have hurt. Hope he didn’t get dumped again.
11. 29 with Braces
It’s funny how petty people can get sometimes. Why would you break up with someone just because they have braces? He’s clearly trying to look better and cares about his oral hygiene. That’s a plus. That’s obviously the reason why he is doing it now. Olivia, 28, couldn’t have any of that. She was not going to date a 29-year-old man with braces that was too childish for her. She dumped him, but the revenge bit is even better: he got married to one of her best friends three years down the line. No more braces for this hunk!
10. I hated his Shoes
It’s funny how people deal with problems nowadays, and sometimes what seems like a simple solution is often solved in the most unconventional ways. Bianca, 24, dumped her boyfriend just because he had very bad taste in shoes. She says they were square footed, off-brand sneakers, and she couldn’t stand them. She figured she’d rather dump him and find a loser boyfriend with better shoes than a really nice guy with bad shoes. Bianca, there is a reason birthdays, Christmas and Valentine’s Day exist. You get the chance to buy the ones you love gifts that you’d want to see them use. Too late for that now.
9. Had a Gigantic Tattoo
Tattoos are great; they bring the macho side of us out. Some tattoos, however, could make you lose a mate instantly. Matthew 34, after dating his girlfriend for some time, realized she had a giant tattoo in an ‘undisclosed location’ that said: “I AM JOYFUL.” This is a really tough one, and you could clearly understand why he had to ditch her. It’s probably not the best thing to have permanently stuck on your body. In case you have one of those funny tattoos on your body, don’t show them to him until he is 90 and with a walking stick. At least then, he can’t leave you.
8. I suspected he was Underage
This has to be the dumbest reason to ever break up with someone. Christina, 30, met this nice guy at her friend’s party. After hanging out for a bit, she got suspicious that he might be underage, and to spare herself from all the worry and frustration, and rather than just ask him upfront, she broke it off. Well, Mr. Babyface met someone else that night and later got married to her. He wasn’t underage; he just looked younger when he shaved his beard. Well, I guess Christina won’t be too lazy to ask next time she becomes suspicious of her dates.
7. Asked Him to Ask me out and Stood Him Up
This is perhaps the universe’s most puzzling question: “What do women want?” This petty breakup story gives the perfect “what do women want” scenarios. Karen, 27, went to her first college party. She’d just joined the previous week and was looking to be among the cool kids. After doing a bunch of drugs, she met this nice looking guy. They enjoyed each other’s company and even made out. In her drunken intoxicated stupor, she asked the guy to ask her out the next day when they were a little bit sober. She stood him up, because she didn’t understand how he was attracted to her after her crazy mess at the party.
6. Her Skin Smelled Like Burnt Toast
Some people don’t deserve being in a relationship, because they’re too immature to handle it. Brad, 27, decided to end his six weeks relationship with an amazing girl just because her skin smelled of toast. Well, Brad, you’d have to explain this a little bit better. It’s either you were having toast, or she works in a toast factory. Still, this has to be the pettiest reason anyone has ever broken up with someone. Brad clearly needs to be alone. Plus it’s the 21st century: we have soap and lotion. She can now smell like peaches, honey, vanilla and even toast if that’s what you are into.
5. I Hated His Cologne
Jennifer met this amazing guy at a mixer. According to her, everything about him was great apart from his scent. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t stinking or anything. He just didn’t have the best cologne, and she hated it. After some time, she just couldn’t handle his aroma anymore and dumped him. It’s perhaps the pettiest thing she had ever done. She bumped into him a few months later in a bookstore, and he smelled perfect. He had a new cologne. Well, Jennifer, next time you don’t like his cologne, find a way of letting him know. He will change it. Trust me.
4. She Coughed During Lovemaking
If this isn’t plain hilarious, then it’s really sad. Morgan, 24, just proved to the world how petty guys could get when they want to break things off. Morgan started dating a girl who was a smoker. This did not bother him until they first made love. Morgan quickly realized that her coughing got worse they were making love. He tried breaking up with her, but she insisted on remaining and even joined a quitting smoking program. She ditched him immediately she got over her smoking habit. Now that’s revenge served cold!
3. She Was Laughing While we Made out
This is a pretty hilarious story. Charlie, 31, got invited by a girl back to her apartment. She later turned into a Dane Cook special as they hung out. Charlie tried to make out with his new date, but this was becoming a really hard task since he was not getting anywhere as she laughed between the smooches. It was probably the lowest point of his life. His make out skills had just been overpowered by Dane Cook’s comedic talents. She just had to go! It’s pretty petty if you ask me. Well, girls, now you know you don’t want to laugh in between kisses.
2. She Erased all my Saved Games
Sure, all guys understand this, and especially if you are a gamer. So, James met this girl at a club. She was super gorgeous, athletic and single. They shared a lot of interests, and one weekend James invited her over. After a night of getting to know each other, James decided he no longer wanted anything to do with his new catch Natalie. As he was taking his shower before dropping her off, Natalie did the unimaginable; she erased all his games from his console. Let’s just say James will never forget Natalie. Serves him right though, that’s the last time he leaves his console with an Ex.
1. Hated her Laugh
This has to be a new level of petty. Stefan met this amazing girl but after a few weeks of dating, he realized her laugh was too much to overcome. He decided to break it off with her, without even giving her the slightest of hints why he had to let her go. While it’s not his proudest moment, he later disclosed that it’s a decision he regrets since she is doing so much better now and he hates the fact that he is not part of it. Well, Stefan, a weird laugh isn’t really a good reason to break up with another person.
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