With the price of entertainment being so high these days, there are plenty of people that are looking for cheaper alternatives. After all, not everyone can afford to pay the $25 per head price of admission to see the circus or to enter an amusement park. Taking a family of 4 to the movie theater to catch the latest crap offering from Hollywood will surely dent your wallet – that’s before you buy the tub of greasy popcorn and the soft drinks!! Let’s not even mention the outrageous cost of seeing your favorite professional sports team. It’s a good thing that Walmart came along.
You might initially think of Walmart as a place to find cheap prices on everyday items or as an all-in-one venue to do your last minute Christmas shopping on December 24th. This retail giant also happens to be one of the best places in the world to get your entertainment fix as well as finding your dream companion. You don’t need to shell out a single penny to roam around your local Walmart and take in all of the interesting sights, sounds, and smells. Walmart doesn’t even really have a dress code. Don’t feel like changing out of your pajamas? This is the place for you!! Don’t feel like wearing underwear? Come on in!! No shoes? No Shirt? No problem!!
Here are some prime examples of the delicate flowers that you can expect to meet when you dare venture into one of these stores. You’ll never even think of going to Disneyland again after you check out the 15 most disturbing pictures taken of people at Walmart.
16. All Jeans Half Off
If you are looking for some of the latest and trendiest fashion ideas then you can always take a trip down Walmart’s ever-popular fresh produce aisle. It’s not quite like one of those fancy fashion shows where wafer-thin supermodels strut their stuff on the catwalk, but the bold designs that you can see at Walmart will definitely turn heads. Do you ever have one of those days where you just can’t decide whether you want to wear long pants or a pair of shorts? Why not have the best of both worlds like this innovative Walmart shopper? There aren’t many better ways to tell the world that you just don’t care about your appearance. Unfortunately, this custom creation is not yet available for sale at Walmart but it is a line of clothing that will soon be in demand.
15. Chic Le Freak
Why pay those high admission prices to see the freaks at a circus when you can simply gather up the kids and go to your local Walmart? Granted, the smell of fresh buttered popcorn and cotton candy that wafts through the air at the circus might be a little more appetizing than the stench of body odor and flatulence that is so prevalent at the latter but Walmart freaks are a lot more entertaining than any circus freak that you might come across at a Ringling Brothers show. There aren’t too many things that will scare the daylights out of the young‘uns like a 250-pound pale-skinned behemoth in a revealing two-piece bikini and high heels. A sight like that is more than enough to haunt the kids for years to come.
14. Going All Out
There is no such thing as a half-measure to a lot of people. They believe that they should go all out or don’t bother trying at all. These people have a great point. After all, should we not be motivated to do our very best? If you are going to climb a mountain, then climb the highest mountain. If you are going to jump, then you jump as high as you possibly can and if you are going to dress like a goof then you dress like the biggest goof on the face of the Earth. It doesn’t get much more goofier than a rainbow-colored onesie, warm fuzzy moccasins, and a fanny pack. The biggest drawback isn’t the curious looks that you get from fellow shoppers as much as the life-scarring embarrassment that will surely affect your children.
13. Please pull your pants up. Please!
It’s really too bad that you can’t go anywhere without being confronted by those pesky crack dealers. They are everywhere these days and Walmart is certainly no exception. That is why it is so important to keep a close eye on your kids. You don’t want your little darlings to be exposed to this cruel reality at such a young age. These crack dealers blend in with the crowds quite effectively, and they are hard to spot unless you learn to identify some of the more obvious signs. One such obvious indicator is somebody with an empty cart. It’s empty because they are not really buying anything. They’re selling their evil and addictive wares. Of course, the biggest give away is when they have their product out on display for everyone to see.
12. Tattoo You
Maybe you’re not the most attractive person that’s ever graced a Walmart, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t stand out among the rest of the riff-raff. One way to show your unique beauty is to get a couple of really cheap tattoos that magically appear to vanish and return with each and every step you take. Aside from delighting and amazing the kids, these tattoos are also a great way to disguise that unsightly cellulite that plagues so many women these days. If you can’t afford to get a bit of permanent body art, then you can always head to the stationery section where you can find an assortment of ink colors with which you can draw on your own tattoo. Now you are a true Walmart patron!!
Sadly, some people struggle with their sexual identity. For those that have the financial capability and a good surgeon, making the transformation from one gender to the other is a piece of cake. Unfortunately, there are many others who lack the means to do so. They must live with their assigned gender until they can save enough money to complete the transition. They cut back on such necessities as nice shoes, hair brushes, and razors blades. Thankfully, Walmart’s low prices allow these people to save their money a little faster. They save loads of money by taking advantage of the cheaper dresses, fashionable purses, and those sexy black bras that are all the rage. Before long, the savings add up and those stuck in gender purgatory can finally get that critical operation that they so sorely need.
10. Celebrity Sightings
Walmart shoppers are sometimes treated to something really special such as a visit from their favorite celebrities. Yes, even celebrities that are thought to be dead. Michael Jackson was recently spotted at Walmart and he was accompanied by Madonna’s less-famous but much trashier younger sister. It turns out that The King of Pop is a lot more normal than previously thought. He emerged from the grocery section with a basket full of food to get him through the next couple of weeks. He was apparently a little disappointed that this Walmart location no longer sold those red and black fake leather Thriller jackets that were so popular 30 years ago but he was delighted about paying 15% less for his haul than he would have if he went to the grocery store across the street.
9. Does This Purse Make Me Look Fat?
Walmart has the perfect accessories for people of all shapes and sizes. With so many things to consider, trying to find the right purse can be a bit troublesome for a woman. She wants to make sure that it is stylish, large enough to store her personal items in, and she also wants to find one that won’t drain her bank account. Most importantly, she’ll want to pick out a handbag that won’t make her look fat. This little petunia seems to have found a bag that matches her clothes and could easily hold all of her makeup while leaving plenty of room for other things like a salt lick and a couple pounds of oats. Of course, this is Walmart so she can be confident that it is more than affordable.
8. Abide by the Dress Code
One of the great things about going to Walmart is that they don’t let just any ol’ rube onto the premises. No. You need to adhere to a certain set of strict standards and the helpful greeters are there to ensure that you meet their dress code. You can’t just waltz into your local store with your pants on properly and expect to get away with it. You’ll need to make a few minor adjustments such as dropping your pants down to your knees and tightening your belt as to not allow your pants to go up any higher. Hey, it’s called style!! Those hard-working greeters don’t make the rules. They only enforce them. Once you have passed inspection and you meet the minimum requirements you may be on your way.
7. Completely Giving Up
One thing that you learn about people when you cruise around your local Walmart is that there are a million different ways to make a fashion statement. You see the trend-setters and you see the followers although why a person would want to follow some of these fashion trends is way beyond explanation. Then you see those who clearly don’t care what they look like. You can’t even apply the words “fashion”, “trend”, or “style” to them. They have crossed that fine line into the “I just don’t care anymore” set and there is no coming back. The sad thing is that these people are becoming the norm. They don’t even really raise eyebrows anymore as they blend in perfectly with the other Walmart patrons who have also given up on life. It gives a whole new meaning to “I’m going to the checkout”.
6. Malice at the Palace
It’s natural for things to get a little crazy at Walmart when the temperatures are rising and the price of shampoo is dropping. There’s a lot of competition to bag those bargains and sometimes it erupts into all-out pandemonium. It usually goes down like this: a couple of otherwise rational yoga pant-clad ladies will simultaneously reach for the last bottle of Pert. They engage in a tug of war while onlookers scramble to find the nearest bookie with which to place their bets. After a few short seconds, the first punch is thrown and the brawl is on. There is no need for a referee as there are no rules to abide by. Once one of the competitors has won by submission, she can triumphantly claim that valuable bottle of Pert and head for the checkout.
5. Double Headed Coin
When it comes to their favorite features on a woman, some guys are partial to butts and some guys like a nicely toned set of gams. Of course, there aren’t too many guys that would pass on a healthy chest and those that can’t get enough of those bouncy orbs of delight will be doubly smitten by a woman who sports them on her front and on her back. What’s that? You don’t believe such a thing exists? Well, you just haven’t been spending enough time in the women’s wear department at Walmart where you can occasionally come across this rare sight. And yes, those puppies are real!!
4. Baby’s Got Back…A Whole Lotta Back
Have you ever had that wild Walmart fantasy? You know the one where you’re hanging out in the women’s wear department checking out the underwear and a hot-looking babe in a motorized scooter comes along and asks you if you’d like a ride? She’s got the curly blonde hair, the curve-hugging tights, and a chest that no ordinary bra can hold? She even wears sporty running shoes which means that she must be athletic and knows how to stay in shape. It’s a pretty common fantasy among men that frequent Walmart and the daydream usually concludes in a wild tryst in one of the fitting rooms. Well, why not turn your fantasy into reality? There are plenty of sexy singles like this one just waiting to pick up a sweet hitchhiker like you.
3. A Hard Day’s Shopping
We all know how tough a long Walmart shopping spree can be. Dealing with all those screaming kids and having to push your weighted down cart through the miles of aisles is totally exhausting. Then there’s the whole waiting in line thing. It’s a good thing this little slice of heaven was wearing sweatpants, because it sure looks like she’s done her share of sweating today. The great thing about this chick is that there is no way she’ll make you chase her. She’s just lying there waiting for you to make your move. What are you waiting for? Who needs Craigslist, singles bars, or any of those expensive online dating sites when you can just stroll down to your local Walmart and find yourself an awesome catch like this?
2. Helping Others When They are Obviously Lost
It’s no fun when we find ourselves lost. We experience feelings of panic and anxiety that can only be relieved when we regain our bearings and get back to familiar ground. You might be in a Walmart and see somebody in obvious distress. Their faces begin to contort, they feel the need to start shedding their clothes, and their teeth sometimes fall out simultaneously. They act in an unusual manner such as reaching for healthy food when they should be reaching out for potato chips and pork rinds. Despite their grotesque appearance, do not be frightened. Simply point to the junk food aisle although you are advised to keep a bit of distance. That person will be forever grateful and your act of kindness will not be forgotten by the big guy upstairs.
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