As they put it, what separates a boy friend from a boyfriend or girl friend from a girlfriend is that space called the “friend zone.” That small space draws a line between what you are and what you want her to be. Though it serves as a rib-tickling pun, tons of pain and bitter feelings are hidden behind it, especially when being in the “friend zone” is the common cause of heartache among everyone.
These feelings may be divulged in the simplest and straightforward manner by pleading guilty to the way they make you feel face-to-face, but others will go as far as exerting efforts and adding a twist in making that person theirs. Nonetheless, these may be kept a secret too – an admiration from afar. This is enduring all the pain to see that curve line on his or her face.
Why do people make things complicated and keep everything to themselves? Pain is always bundled with infatuation and love. No matter what you do, you will always get hurt, but the logic is you can at least try to lessen the pain by dodging the bullets of these aching occurrences. For others, this may be because of the fear of ruining a precious bond. It’s like having a piece of them or nothing at all. It’s the risk we all have to take. Should you settle for less than what you deserve or should you give it a shot?
15. Calls you a “friend”
Now, let’s not state the obvious, should we? When they call you “bestie” or “friend” in public, it’s evident that they consider you only a “bestie” or “friend”. When they introduce you to their other friends and family members like that, it’s just like that. No buts. No ifs. No more assumptions. No overthinking. Though there are certain circumstances wherein you may be best friends with benefits, these don’t happen to everyone. Seriously, who would be in the right mind to call the person they crave for a “friend”? But, is it better to be a friend than nothing at all? Is it better to have that position in their lives than none at all?
14. Embarrassed to be seen alone with you in public
When two people are alone together even if they both agree to go out as friends other people immediately assume that there’s something going on between them. People fabricate assumptions that you two are more than just friends, especially when they are eating dinner together or watching a movie. It’s not like these “best friends” can explain why they are together to everyone they bump into.
To avoid giving other people the wrong idea of you two dating, particularly their admirers or crushes, they do not like being seen with you in a public place. They prefer being in an isolated place or staying at home to hang out with you.
13. Brings a friend to tag along
Following the feeling of being embarrassed to be seen with you in public, they bring a friend to lessen the awkwardness between the two of you and it’s not even a bring-a-friend-to-your-date day. A guy or lady can be shy, but when he or she is with his or her type, he or she will not go as far as to bring a friend on the day to get to know his or her type more. It’s not a friendly hangout. It’s a date. Because when he or she invites a friend to come, he or she is avoiding something that may happen whether it’s a kiss or other forms of affection.
12. Enumerates the people they dated
Who boasts about the people they have dated, why they did not work, and what could have happened if they did to the person they adore?
If they did like you, they would be embarrassed to even say about a thing in the past. They would try to impress you if they liked you. They wouldn’t tell you what went wrong during their first date. They would not tell you that they’re bad kissers. They wouldn’t disclose their flaws because their main goal is to amaze you. They are obviously sharing their experiences with you because they trust you as a friend.
11. There’s no physical contact
This involves physical contact that is more than a hug or pat on the back. It is ordinary for friends to wrap their arms around one another when they run into each other or bid good bye, but you know it’s on a different level when kisses and holding hands are concerned.
Don’t assume just yet that they like you when they give you a hug because it just might be their usual way of saying good bye. Though, there is an exception, depending on the hug that they give. There are a variety of hugs that draws the line between a friend and lover. Just find which is which.
10. Gives you the “bro/sis” treatment
What’s worse than being called a “bestie” or “friend” is being treated like you’re a sister or brother. Have you heard the famous expression “you’re the sister or brother I never had”? If yes, do not cross the boundary because they just drew out one. In other words, “Mission Abort!”
By baptizing the sibling title, you are giving a certain boundary that you should never cross – a usual thing between siblings. For instance, brothers and sisters are embarrassed to even lay a finger on each other. I love yous are even said in an awkward manner. Sure, they love you in that way, but never the way you want them to.
9. Sends short replies
Short responses reflect disinterest or boredom. When they like you, they would think of as many topics to continue the conversation because other than you, they also like talking to you and getting to know you better. It would go as far as to ask weird things just not to cut the flow of the conversation. For instance, they would ask what you just ate or where you went, irrelevant things when you’re a stranger. They wouldn’t give you a one-word reply. They would not simply read your chat. They would not give you a mere thumbs up. Other than that, if they do not reply to you or give a late response, accept the fact that you are not worth their time.
8. Sets you up with other friends
When they push you to be with other people, doesn’t that mean that they can’t give you what you want so they’d rather give you away than see you suffer with them? Though that sounds touching, that is also heartbreaking. All you can think about is being with them, but they would like you to be with others because they just can’t try to like or love you. They even reach to the point that they set you up with their friends. They plan the time and place of your date. They would even accompany you to introduce you properly to their friends. You just stand there thinking, “Why can’t it be?”
7. Doesn’t remember the words you said
You told them that you didn’t like cats, but they bring you to a cat café nearby. One point. You told them that you are allergic to prawns, but they bring you a bucket of prawns. Two points. You told them that you are not comfortable with being with strangers, but they tell you to tag along to a party. Strike. When these little things can’t stay in their minds for a while, apart from blaming short term memory, this means that you are not that important to be remembered by. Because when we like people in a romantic way, we try out best to be the people they deserve. Thus, we try to avoid their dislikes and encourage their likes.
6. Doesn’t flirt back
There are hundreds of pickup lines that you can ask from your friends or search online, but that is just one way of flirting with them. For instance, dropping by their house to pick them up and accompanying them home can be a bonus point. Giving them the overrated flowers and chocolates for them to appreciate may flutter their heart. Knowing the intention to be given the opportunity to wrap your arms around them while watching a movie and they decline, they’re not interested in being more than friends. If even simple efforts don’t work and are pretty much useless, you’re screwed. Perhaps, if other people did it, they would give in so stop wasting your money and time and save for your real soulmate.
5. Brings up other women/men
For women, they might notice this guy’s hunky or muscular figure. Or for men, they might get their eyes on that beautiful face painted with an adorable smile. Whatever it is, they tell you and they aren’t that conscious about it. If they liked you more than a friend, they wouldn’t squeal about other people in your presence. They would only focus on you. They would know when to stop and step on the breaks. They wouldn’t brag about the abs that they saw or the hands that they held. They wouldn’t torture you like that. Though they might not be open about it, they would at least be careful bringing it up, especially if they know your feelings toward them.
4. Have same old excuses
It may be possible that their excuses are true and valid, but if the same excuses keep coming out of their mouth, you have the right to doubt and assume that they are not interested in being more than friends. Family reunion? Those are usually planned and if it is true, they should tell it beforehand. Pet emergency? What if they don’t have pets? A sudden trip to somewhere? But, still? Those surprising ones shouldn’t be that surprising. As I have always believed in, actions express priorities. If you’re a priority, no matter how busy they are, they would find a way. There shouldn’t be excuses. Like they say, if there’s a will, there’s a way. And she or he would find a way to be with you.
3. There is no constant communication
Apart from receiving short replies and sensing their disinterest in talking with you, they would only message or call you when they need something from you. For short, there is no constant communication. There are no unexpected texts, asking how you are or how you have been without a favor trailing behind. If they like you, they would constantly ask about how you’re doing or where you are. They would check up on you because they care about you. They would tell you to hang out somewhere because they want to see you. They would immediately message you after seeing you because they missed you already.
2. You’re the personal adviser
There is nothing wrong with being there for them when they need you, especially when you become the light during their darkest days, but when it involves their relationships with other people, that is not the way to be their partner. You are there during their lightest to heaviest dramas. You are there to pat their backs. You are there to give a shoulder to cry on and a wall to lean on. You are becoming a martyr, as they would say. And after all those efforts, you are still the “good friend” or “caring sibling”. Oh, gosh, how insensitive!
1. Treats you very casually
They tell you even the most disgusting things such as picking their nose, farting, or pooping. Being casual can be fun, but that just means they are too comfortable with you and being too comfortable means being with your friends. When you are with the one you like, you try to be as behave as possible. Your heart races and you feel like they are your kryptonite because they try to get you on your knees. You do not blurt out everything that is on your mind. As stated a while ago, you try to impress by expressing less to the person you like.
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