Relationship experts say the best relationships between and a man and a woman will depend on the kind of communication that they have. Most couples therapists reveal that relationships in the past lasted longer than they do nowadays because in the past couples communicated more as compared to the present day (we have TV and social media to blame for that). So what should or shouldn’t you ask your partners before doing while in a relationship? Well, you really don’t need to ask your partner for permission to do everything, it’s obvious you are allowed to hang out with your buddies. She is your girlfriend and not your boss, meaning she is not meant to order you around (who wants to be in a relationship where they are ordered around?).
While both you and your girlfriend are equal partners in your relationship or marriage, there are certain things that you might need to ask her permission before doing. Running into your ex at the mall is a coincidence, but extending an invitation for coffee might require permission from your girlfriend. Permission is a really strong word, however, when it comes to certain things, there is no getting around asking for it. You can call it whatever you want: clearance or running it by them, but at the end of the day, it’s better to hear a clear-cut answer of “yes” before doing any of the following.
15. Meeting Up with an Ex
This is the ultimate no-no in the book of love, and it’s not hard for your girlfriend to feel betrayed if you did this without informing her. You are definitely going to be in some big trouble if you meet your ex without informing your current girlfriend. It doesn’t matter how long you haven’t seen each other; you might need to run this with your girlfriend before setting up that coffee date. It doesn’t make sense messing up a current relationship over meeting an ex just because you failed to check in with her on this. An ex is an ex; they are better left in the past.
14. Spending time with other Girls
You have just started dating this amazing girl after months of being single. You probably had a string of girls you have been seeing but decided to make this specific girl your main squeeze. It might just be a great idea to inform her when and if you decide to hang out or spend time with other girls. We are not talking about the girl you have known since you were five, we are talking about that new neighbor in your building that wants to meet you for coffee just to find out about the new neighborhood. Sounds honest, right? Well, this could turn out to be one of those things that looks like more than what it is if you neglect to bring it up in time.
13. Inviting People to Stay with You
In case you are living with your girlfriend in the same apartment, it might be a good idea to inform her when you decide to have people over. It doesn’t matter if your old buddy Chad will be staying over to watch the game and end up sleeping on the couch or your cousin Richard is in town for a couple of days. It’s best to let her know about this beforehand. Failing to inform your girlfriend about this might make her feel like her opinion doesn’t matter. Therefore, whether it’s your mom, best friend or just a weird stranger looking for a place to crash for the night, she better be in the know.
12. Having People Over
Some of the best hangouts are never planned. It’s one of those days when everyone you know seems to be in your location, and for some funny reason they end up coming to your place. If they are going to hang out for a while and probably through dinner, then it’s best to inform the girlfriend. No one wants to come home after a hectic day to a house full of people unexpectedly. That’s usually a big argument waiting to happen. In case you are living with your partner, it’s always best to inform her in time when you are having people over. A quick “Hey love, Chad just dropped by, he might be staying for dinner” text won’t kill you.
11. Staying Out All Night
Well, this goes without saying, but in case you are out partying and get too drunk to drive home, then you better not be sloppy enough not to call and inform your girlfriend what you are planning to do. You might get the occasional side-eye for this suspicious behavior, but it will come off much better than showing up at 8 am with the same story. Women love to be in the know. If you are going to pass out, you better call her before you actually pass out. It will save you from her wrath when you finally recover from your stupor.
10. Volunteering Her for Favors
“I am sure she won’t mind.” Are you sure? Well, the last thing anyone needs is to be volunteered for anything without their consent, even if it is something that they love doing. Therefore, instead of giving a soft yes before checking in with your girlfriend, just relay the question and let her figure out if she is willing to do the favor or not. It takes a bit of time but it is worth it in the end when you are not arguing. You are probably proud of what she does and want the whole world to feel it, but it’s better when she actually wants to do it by herself.
9. Making Plans
All girls like surprises, and especially if it comes in the form of gifts or parties but when you decide to pull a surprise meeting with your parents on her, she might not be too happy about this. You probably have a Saturday morning brunch culture with your girlfriend, so in case you are going to invite your best friend Chad over, you better let her know about this beforehand. If you decide to let your sister’s kids come over for the weekend to play in your pool, make sure you run this by her. She might have had some ideas of her own for that specific day.
8. Impulse Buying
Please don’t get me wrong, I am not talking about your decision to change your aftershave just because it attracts bees every morning on your way to work. I am talking about pulling up with a new Ferrari in the driveway without first informing her. Well, at the end of the day, it’s your hard earned money. You can do whatever you want with it, but not running this by her could mean her input is not important or that her opinion doesn’t count. Women are homemakers, so once she steps into your house, everything involving the household might need her clearance, including how you spend your money.
7. Drastically Changing your Image
This is a very tricky one, and it’s because you do not necessarily need permission to do it, but in case you are thinking of cutting your arm’s length dreadlocks or going for the bald look or even getting a neck tattoo, then you really need to run this by her. This is because your new look is not just going to be an adjustment for you but your partner too. Therefore, before you make any of the crazy decisions by yourself, it might be a wise decision to check with her first.
6. Visiting a Strip Club
Okay, this might cause emotions to rise, and guys know that a night with the boys sometimes ends with a trip to a strip club (not always). However, while for some this might be a nonsense issue, for others, they believe going to the strip club should end once you get into a committed relationship with someone. In case you feel your night out with the boys might end up in a strip club, it’s better to inform her in advance and get a feel for her reaction. It might save you a lot of agony in the end.
5. Making Large Purchases
We already talked about being an impulsive buyer, but, making large purchases isn’t something you do without consulting your partner. That’s Relationship 101. It’s understandable that you get to do whatever you want with your hard earned cash. But when you are committed and thinking of a future with someone else, making large purchases might come back to haunt you in the future. Discussing large purchases with your girlfriend won’t kill you, but it will save you from getting into a lot of trouble. And especially if you have a joint account. It’s embarrassing enough when she is out at the store buying groceries, and your joint account card gets declined just because you used up all the money for upgrades on your car.
4. Getting a Pet
We all know how girls love pets, and that getting a pet might sound like the cutest surprise ever. However, it’s all fun and games until the pup starts pooping and messing your home. Getting a pet is just like having children: both of you need to sit down and agree on their responsibilities when it comes to having a pet around. Getting a stray dirty pet just because you felt remorseful might also be something you might want to run by her before getting yourself attached. You might both like the idea of getting a pet, but the problem usually arises when it comes to cleaning up after the pet. Pets might be cute, but make sure you are not the only one who is comfortable with caring for yours.
3. Going Through Her Phone
This is a very delicate matter. Phones add up to 50% of breakups today according to scientific surveys. Your phone nowadays is regarded as a personal item; it cannot be shared. Couples therapy tells us to be as open as we can with our partners, and let them in on everything we do, including those we communicate with on a daily basis. However, if you are going to use your partner’s phone, it’s probably best you inform them before snooping around. Women are very protective of the things they own, so going through her phone might get you in trouble for weeks. Plus, it’s best you don’t find out her conversations with her girlfriends.
2. Borrowing Stuff
So your car just broke down. Well it might be an awesome idea to let her know that you will be using her car for a while. It doesn’t matter what it is you are borrowing: be it a car, laptop, iPad or iPod, she might not be using it but she is well aware of its presence, and it’s really going to bother her if you take it without asking for permission. Doing this might make her feel like you do not respect her privacy. This isn’t something guys are known for doing, but there are always a few rotten apples in every bunch. Here’s some advice: get your own stuff and stay out of hers.
1. Meeting up with a Friend She hates
We all have a friend that our girlfriend hates to death. She probably feels he is a bad influence in your life, and he probably is, but you have known him all your life and learned to live with his faults. However, that does not mean she will too. She probably hates him because you always get into trouble when you are hanging out with him. Therefore, when your no good friend is around town visiting, it’s better to let her know you might be hanging out with him at some point. Sneaking around always gets people into more trouble, and you are better off telling her the truth (in advance).
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