You feel pretty confident in thinking women hold all the cards when it comes to gettin’ busy, which is really no surprise. The majority of information surrounding relationships and dating are typically written to appeal to the needs or wants of a woman in any scenario. No wonder it’s told by psychologists and couples’ therapists across the world that most women assume that men enjoy what goes on between the sheets, regardless, because they’re “getting lucky”. Is this not what a man is occupied with in his mind all day? This perception comes from the idea that men think about hanky panky every seven seconds.

With that being said, we are certainly throwing away such ridiculous and outdated perceptions. Because, in reality, this isn’t the case at all. Okay, so maybe sometimes it is, but not always. In fact, real live men have shared what they wish women knew about gettin’ busy. So, if you’re intrigued keep reading. You just may be surprised at what’s actually rolling around in that head of his. Share this article with him and see if he agrees with us. In doing so, you two will open up dialogue to talk about physical intimacy, and nothing is more worthwhile and vulnerable than that!

15. First off, Communication is Key

Believe it or not, men cannot read your mind. Teach them what you like. Don’t let him waste five minutes or more doing something that he assumes you like, when it totally turns you off. This won’t work for either of you. It can lead to awkwardness and even kill the moment. Knockin’ the boots should be exciting and enjoyable. In fact, your pleasure matters to him. Likewise, intimate times aren’t the times to be shy and polite. Express to him what’s working or what you need, and everyone will be happier.

For example, if he is licking all over your ear and nibbling, but you actually get the wrong kind of chills down your spine, let him know. One way to explain that you’re not enjoying this is by telling him bluntly: “I really don’t like my ears slobbered on, but I do love the way you…”.

14. Drop All Inhibitions

Men want you to open up completely in all areas of your relationship. This includes making love. Don’t hold anything back. He enjoys it when you totally lose yourself doing exactly what you want. It’s very liberating for both parties involved. When you allow yourself to be 100% emotionally available in what you are doing and drop all barriers, you and your lover will connect on a deeper level.

For instance, the only thought you should focus on is to “be in the moment”. Don’t worry about all those other irrelevant “what if” details. Yes, he finds you incredibly sexy. And YES, he totally adores your personality. And of course, the two of you share an impressionable and tenacious chemistry together. Without a doubt, you are performing just fine; so long as you stay “in the moment”, completely checked in, and not too busy distracting yourself.

13. Be a Good Listener

This one ties into excellent communication. Communication doesn’t just apply to you speaking your mind. In this case, it also pertains to being open to hearing what his thoughts are. Don’t get offended if he dislikes something you are doing. To emphasize, refrain from taking his critique personally. If he’s not into what you’re doing and asks you to try something else, be excited that you are learning about the signals of his body.

Specifically, that thing your ex boyfriend really liked may do nothing for your current man. Everybody’s different. By keeping this in mind, you will open your relationship up for close and enticing intimacy.

12. This Isn’t “50 Shades of Grey”

Why do those extreme thrill seekers that frequent the underground world of BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism) create a “safe-word”? They are setting up boundaries, prior to engaging in rough and kinky endeavours. Choosing a safe-word allows either partner to put a stop to any unwanted action. To illustrate, if one partner decides they don’t like the idea of a patent leather boot heal invading different orifices of their body, they will say, “Beetlejuice,” to stop.

Don’t worry, unless BDSM is on your bucket list of intimate experiences, you won’t ever need to recite some late 1980’s movie character’s name. All jokes aside though, there’s nothing worse than your man doing something that is totally off limits to you. To avoid any embarrassment or awkward feelings, it’s best to first discuss boundaries. It’s perfectly okay to tell your lover the things you already know you don’t enjoy. He will be grateful to learn your dislikes the easy way. Taking the guesswork away for him will remove stress from your experience.

11. Exceptional Hygiene is not Always Necessary

So, your legs are a little scruffy, and you haven’t had time to thoroughly groom down stairs. And perhaps you don’t smell like roses. You may have actually met up with your boyfriend from working out at the gym, and that’s okay. Men will get over it. As long as you practice basic daily hygiene, it’s not a deal breaker if you aren’t pristine at all times.

On the positive side, men are realistic creatures. Now don’t get me wrong, they appreciate every effort you put into getting all dolled up. Trust me, styling your hair, applying makeup that brings out your features, and dressing in something that will drive him wild is always a good thing. This doesn’t mean that every intimate encounter calls for all the primping. Spontaneity goes a long way in turning him on. It creates instant excitement.

10. You Have a Voice, Use it

Hundreds of men have shared that silence can massacre even the strongest desire to rock your body. When the two of you are getting it on and you just lay there quietly, his anxiety rises. This causes him to second guess his performance. If you aren’t into it, then stop. Or, tell him you want to try something else.

Don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind, literally. No matter if it’s bad or good. One way to encourage your guy is to verbally express just how good every single, tantalizing sensation feels. By all means, get enthusiastic about it. Let him know just how good he makes your body feel. Granted that you are being sincere. This may come as a shock to you, but men do realize when you are faking it.

9. Fabricated “O’s” are More Obvious Than You Realize

While on the topic of deceptive behavior, it’s a good time to bring up why faking an orgasm can bite you in the ass. For the love of mankind, don’t pretend to get off if you didn’t. A man’s highest priority is giving you an explosive orgasm. This is his most rewarding goal to accomplish, providing him validation of his man-hood. Equally important, if he thinks you are reaching pure euphoria then he has no reason to change “what’s working”.

First of all, depriving yourself from from experiencing pure euphoria is bad for both of you. Secondly, as said before, they can usually tell when you’re faking it anyway. Men would much rather hear the truth than feel like an idiot, and lose confidence in themselves. And finally, you run the risk of destroying the deep, trusting, intimacy the two of you built.

8. Every Now and Again Jump in the Driver Seat

Generally, the guy is expected to be the more aggressive partner during sexual encounters. Understandably so, women relish melting into the arms of their beau, thanks to his masculine nature. You know, as the mayor of your “V” town. Although men don’t mind playing this role in the sack, there are several benefits of you jumping in the driver’s seat.

Not literally of course, unfortunately, 90% of today’s vehicles lack ample space needed for hanky-panky. Therefore, keep your erotica indoors, privately, where you can avoid getting arrested for indecent exposure. The point here, is switching roles with him and taking charge will be an exciting way to keep him on his toes. Allow him to relax a little. Nothing turns a guy on more than his lady becoming dominant, such as, going from a demure kitten to a hot vixen.

7. Don’t Make Him Ask For it Each Time

Due to men having huge appetites for vivacity, they are assumed to be the partner to initiate your hot endeavours. But falling into this routine is counter-productive. Eventually, your boy toy will take on the sole responsibility to always approach you. Then, he will begin feeling like you aren’t attracted to him anymore, and even worse, will feel like he’s begging for it. If your goal is to create insecurities in your relationship, this would be the fastest way to do it.

Don’t get me wrong, I know you would never wish that upon your boyfriend. You’re not used to being the one who initially heats things up. However, from here on out, whenever you find yourself thinking sexy thoughts of him, jump on the opportunity and put the moves on him. The more you ask him for it, the more confident he’ll be. A point often over-looked, is that men crave to feel genuinely wanted by their lover.

6. Add Some Motion to the Ocean

Since the number of men who shared this same notion was so high, this one makes it onto our list. But what I’m confused about is the fact that this should be common knowledge, so I thought. Then again, this only proves that, lack of sharing “fornication responsibilities” still exists in a society of horn balls, thoroughly educated on procreating. In any event, men prefer their partner to be an active participant when the dress code requires birthday suits.

C’mon, ladies. If you are seriously just lying there your boyfriend isn’t thrilled. To him, it’s comparable to humping a stagnant comatose version of you. Consequently, he may even feel as though you think you are doing him a favor – the favor of a charity quickie. Men don’t want your charity ladies! Get that bootie moving around and carry your half of the work load.

5. Develop a Generous Oral Fixation

Did you know that every man on this planet actually loves foreplay? More specifically, a favorite is when women go down on them. Unfortunately, men say this doesn’t happen often. Some even developed a conspiracy theory. They chop it up to some ludicrous urban myth designed to punish men. Seriously though, if you were to ask how often oral pleasure was offered, they would say, “Only twice a year”.

To elaborate, this special treat is typically bestowed on birthdays and anniversaries. Are they exaggerating? Now, if you are someone who hasn’t taken your talented mouth below your boyfriend’s belt it’s time to stop holding out on him. Maybe you’re nervous that he won’t enjoy it because you haven’t done much of this. Well, don’t be embarrassed. The good news is, there’s absolutely no way you could ever screw up a blowy.

4. If He Doesn’t Get His Sweet Ending Don’t Flip Out

Uncommon as it is, there will be those rare occasions where your boy toy doesn’t “get his”. If and when this ever happens, refrain from flipping out. More importantly, keep in mind that there’s a 99% chance this had nothing to do with you. There are actually several logical contributors to his failure to launch.

For one thing, he might be completely exhausted. It’s safe to assume that your boyfriend is mentally and physically drained. I know what you are thinking. And, I have felt the same way, that if he were that tired he shouldn’t have engaged in doing the nasty. Although that sounds rational, men will pretty much jump all over any opportunity to partake in such festivities. Only to find him worn out.

3. “Not In The Mood” isn’t Just For The Ladies

I know right?! We were completely shocked by this one too. Personally, I’ve never had a boyfriend ever tell me he wasn’t in the mood. Despite our own opinions ladies, this is a reality. For example, your honey could be under super high stress levels. Or worse, his emotional needs aren’t being met by you.

As a matter of fact, men have emotional needs that need finessed, similar to a woman’s. Try to let go of the perception that your lover is just a hormone crazed cave man looking to bump pelvises all day, every day. On the other hand, this does not mean he finds you less attractive or that you aren’t good in the sack. Don’t take it personal; instead, offer him a relaxing back massage and ask him about his day. 

2. Ignite The Romance & Turn on The Charm

No one denies a man’s shivery duty is to romance and woo his girlfriend. Men want the same effort put forth by their girlfriend. It’s easy to fall into habit expecting your boyfriend to handle your relationship’s romance. Even so, what would it hurt to turn up the charm doing romantic things for your boyfriend? Not sure you can think of anything? That’s okay because the internet provides tons of romantic ideas.

These examples don’t suggest you go buy him candy and flowers. Instead, do something extra to remind him that you care about him. Remember, you know him best but here’s some inspiration. Try leaving a sweet or naughty note taped to his mirror. Another option is buying new lingerie to wear for him. Additionally, take his vehicle to get detailed. Doing any or all of these will fulfill his emotional needs.

1. The Birth Control Conversation

Don’t take this personal. Men have a hard time trusting that you’re really on birth control. Responsible men are cautious anymore these days about having unplanned babies. It isn’t fair to bring a child into the world for the selfish reason of not wearing protection. It’s no secret that condoms limit how the sensation feels. But to risk future family court custody battles and heartache, they will wear a condom.

With that being said, over time trust will build. But until he feels he can truly trust you when you say you are on birth control, he’ll be wearing a rubber. This really shouldn’t be a big deal anyway. It’s the man that loses out, when it comes to losing some sensation to his manhood. And, by default, he will last longer – an added bonus for you!