There are many things in life that bring about feelings of tension and dread. Going to a job interview is one such instance. You rehearse what you are going to say, you get yourself looking presentable, and you give yourself a pep talk to convince yourself that everything’s going to be fine. Still, the fear of rejection weighs heavily. Come to think of it, going to a job interview is much like going on a first date. You go through a near-identical process to prepare yourself and, like with the interview, you are terrified at the thought of being rejected.
With dating, there are also concerns about the other person. Do they have a sense of humor? Are they laid back, easy to get along with, and interesting? When it comes to dating sites, you really have no idea what the other person is like except for what they put in their profiles. Yes, they may claim to be down-to-earth and fun-loving but you don’t really know until you meet them. It is on the first date that we can start to get a true sense of what the person is actually like. Maybe they are just as they described themselves in their profile but you might also be disappointed. The date might be going well but things can change in the blink of an eye. Here are 15 things that just ruined your first date.
15. You have a Pimple
You want to look your best on your first date. You might have just gotten a cool haircut and some stylish clothes but there is nothing that’s going to hide that throbbing pustule that just showed up on your face. Even if you see it before you meet your date, there isn’t enough makeup in the world to cover it up without being blatantly obvious. It’s especially awkward when you discover it during your date. Maybe you went to the restroom and were horrified at what you saw when you looked in the mirror? You know darn well that she’s already seen it and even if she hasn’t mentioned it, you know it’s on her mind. Having a big pimple is quite distracting and it is one of those things that can single-handedly ruin a first date. It doesn’t matter which of you has one.
14. He/She’s Late
You both agreed to meet at a restaurant at 7 o’clock. You show up at 7 on the nose but your date’s not there yet. No biggie. You tell the maitre d’ that you are expecting someone to join you as he leads you to your table. Naturally, you anxiously keep your eyes peeled for any signs of your date’s arrival. Now it’s 7:10 and you are reading the drinks menu. By 7:15 you are starting to entertain the thought of being stood up and by 7:30 you have eaten a basket of breadsticks and are on your second rum and Coke. By the time your date strolls in at 7:45, takes a seat and apologizes for his or her tardiness, it’s too late. Aside from being mugged on the way to the restaurant, there aren’t too many explanations that will make you feel any better.
13. He/She keeps Texting or Talking on the Phone
This is one of the most irritating things for a lot of people. When you are trying to make a good impression, have a good conversation, or deliver the punchline of some witty anecdote, the last thing you want is for the other person to suddenly cut you off so that they can read a text or take a call. Sure, maybe it’s an important family matter or some other urgent issue. That’s understandable. However, taking a call and blabbing on about the latest gossip is simply annoying. So is sitting there while the other person has an ongoing text conversation. When it happens, it makes you feel unimportant and uninteresting. It’s a definite turn off and it has ruined a great number of dates. Put the phone on silent and try to enjoy yourself.
12. Talking about His/Her Ex
We live in some pretty interesting times and there is no shortage of good topics of conversation. Most guys don’t want to hear about the latest developments on some television soap opera just as most women don’t want to get involved in discussing the defensive schemes that will be used by the Denver Broncos this year. Neither men nor women want to hear their date prattle on about their exes. This is especially true if there is a long list of them. If you try hard enough, you will find a topic that you are both interested in. While having your date carry on about their previous relationships can be quite revealing, it is also a surefire way to ruin an otherwise great evening. It also gives an impression that they are still a little hung up on their exes.
11. He/She Complains about their Meal
Things can be going great on your first date. You are having a good conversation, a few hearty laughs, and you are discovering that you both have a lot in common. You’re digging each other. Then the waiter comes with your main courses. You dig into your delicious porterhouse steak and it melts in your mouth. You take a look across the table and see that your date is obviously unimpressed with the lobster. You feel a little bad but that sympathy quickly turns to embarrassment when the complaining starts. Even worse is when they call over the waiter and make a scene. You want to hide under the table until the storm blows over but that would be too little too late. The date has just been ruined and you won’t be returning to that restaurant for another mouth-watering porterhouse anytime soon.
10. He/She asks Personal Questions too Soon
It’s natural to want to learn all you can about a person but these things take time and there needs to be a certain level of comfort and trust established before we divulge our inner secrets to someone. A first date is not the right time to ask deeply personal questions. For starters, you aren’t likely going to get a straight answer. Secondly, it generally makes a person quite uneasy, if not offended when they are asked personal questions right off the bat. In fact, the whole “20 questions” thing as a whole is kind of off-putting. Is this a date or is it the Spanish Inquisition? There are certainly some questions that can and need to be asked early on. Are you currently married? Have you ever participated in cannibalism?
9. He/She says that they’re not Looking for a Relationship
Being told by someone that they are not looking for a relationship is one way to quickly put an end to a date. What’s the point of carrying on the charade after that moment? If you are told this on a first date then it is going to be your last date with that person. Why wouldn’t they tell you something like that when you asked them out on a date in the first place? That would have saved a bit of time, awkwardness, and a few dollars. Of course, when they say that they are not looking for a relationship it usually actually means that they are looking for one. They’re just not looking for one with you. These things happen. Call it a night and save your dignity.
8. Being Self Centered
We’ve all met self-centered people and they are almost always extremely annoying. This trait isn’t hard to spot and it speaks volumes about who a person really is. Many folks have been out on a first date and tried to diversify the conversation but the topic always seems to swing back to being about the other person. It gets to the point that you just want your self-centered date to choke on the olive in their martini. Naturally, that would just make the moment even more about them as they flop around on the floor but it might be worth it to hear them gasping for breath instead of prattling on about how awesome their hair is. You might be able to endure them for the evening but the date is definitely ruined.
7. Your Date Gets Drunk
Sure, there is a lot of pressure and stress that one can feel when going on a first date. You want to be liked and you hope that the other person is likable. We all handle anxiety differently. Some people fidget, some put on a convincing act, and some people take a dose of Xanax. Whichever way you deal with the stress of a first date, it is important that you keep a level head. Your date probably feels a bit nervous too. If you meet for a first date at a bar or restaurant, don’t overdo it with the booze. Nobody likes to listen to a drunken person ramble on senselessly especially when you are sober. It embarrasses everyone involved and it is one guaranteed way to ruin a first date.
You had a nice dinner, went to see a crappy Kate Hudson romantic comedy, and you are now sitting in a quiet lounge sipping on a few cocktails while discussing your erotic fantasies and the possibility of booking a hotel room for the night. The date has gone really well and you are pretty sure it’s on the verge of getting much better. Then, out of nowhere, your date announces that the fettuccine alfredo and chili dogs are knocking at their back door and they need to have an explosive bowel movement. Date ruined. There are many ways in which too much information can have this effect. Any potential romantic ideas are quickly overshadowed by other horrifying thoughts that quickly dampen the mood. Some things should be kept to yourself.
5. Goes to Talk with Someone Else
Let’s say that your first date has gone off pretty well and you both decide to go to a bar for a nightcap. You take your seats in a quiet corner, order a couple of drinks, and begin to talk about your favorite movies. Just as you are explaining how you had a hard time watching Mr. Blonde torture that cop in Reservoir Dogs, your date suddenly cuts you off, leaves the table, and goes off to talk to somebody else across the bar. It would be one thing if it was just for a couple of seconds to say a quick hello but it has now been 15 minutes and your date hasn’t even looked in your direction. You order a double gin and tonic because your first date had just been ruined.
You absolutely want to make sure that you look good for your first date and you also want to smell nice. Let’s say you have appropriately prepared for your big night out by taking a shower, putting on clean clothes, and spraying on some cologne. You look good and you smell great. You meet your date at the movie theater, grab some sodas and popcorn, and take your seats near the back row. Halfway through the film you decide to take a chance by putting your arm around your date and getting a bit closer. How unpleasant it is for you that your date didn’t take the same measures when preparing for your rendez-vous. You discover that your date has a bad case of BO and, understandably, it has just ruined your first date.
3. They Talk a lot about Marriage and Having Kids
It is challenging enough to keep yourself and the other person at ease when you are on a first date. There is the constant process of feeling each other out and just trying to get an idea of how compatible the both of you are. There is a lot to talk about in the preliminary stages of dating such as work, family, likes, and dislikes. The conversation should be relatively light in general if you want to create a relaxed atmosphere. The topic of marriage and children is bound to come up but it needs to be approached with caution. It’s one thing to say that you would like to get married and have kids one day but it is an entirely different thing to dwell on the subject. Talk about a buzz kill!!
2. An Argument
Every relationship has ups and downs. There isn’t a couple on the planet that hasn’t argued about something at one time or another. It’s natural to have differences but it is really uncomfortable when significant conflicts rear their ugly heads on a first date. A lot of people can agree to disagree and move on but this isn’t always the case. You might be on a first date with someone that insists that the world is flat while you are certain that it is round. It can make for an interesting debate but you shouldn’t let it become a full-blown argument. While you try to move on to a lighter topic, your date continues to carry on with the flat earth thing. Way to go!! They have now wrecked an otherwise enjoyable evening.
1. The Third Wheel
Here is a situation that is bound to ruin a first date before it even starts. He or she shows up with a friend. WTF?? Do they think you are Ted Bundy or Aileen Wuornos? Talk about a slap in the face!! So much for any shot at reaching first base let alone hitting a home run. The last thing you want is some tag-along listening into, or worse, joining in on your conversation. It gets even more uncomfortable when you are iced out of the conversation completely. It is quite amazing that this sort of thing really happens but there are more than a few stories out there of people bringing a third wheel on a date and ultimately ruining it. Of course, if you believe those Letters to Penthouse you might be thrilled to see a third wheel.
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