We all have our secrets. It could be something that haunts you from your past or perhaps it’s some kind of embarrassing fetish that you currently have. You might find yourself working in an office environment in which you are forced to work with somebody that you secretly don’t like. Wanting to keep up the appearance of being a true professional, you probably hold your nose and fake it. Doing otherwise could make for a toxic environment and possibly jeopardize your job. It’s the same thing in a marriage. Revealing certain secrets can cause a lot of unnecessary damage and make domestic life unpleasant.
Even though we are told that hiding things from your spouse isn’t healthy for your marriage, there are loads of things that married couples keep from each other. Men generally don’t want to let their wives know about their deepest sexual fantasies. They think that doing so would shock and disgust their significant others. A husband probably doesn’t want his wife to know that he just bought all of his buddies a few rounds of drinks at the bar when he’s having trouble paying the bills at home. He will also absolutely hide the fact that he has a dating profile on Plenty of Fish or Ashley Madison.
The overwhelming majority of wives have some deep, dark secrets that they don’t want their husbands finding out about as well. Heck, they have secrets that they don’t even let their closest friends know about. Let’s take a look at 15 things wives will always hide from their husbands.
15. A Secret Crush
Try as they may, most husbands aren’t perfect. They like to think that they’re the ideal match for their wives and the relationship might be as solid as they come but almost every woman fantasizes about being with another guy at one point or another. It could be her husband’s best friend, her boss, or just some random stranger that she sees when she’s out at a restaurant with her husband. The chances of a wife coming right out and telling her husband that she wouldn’t mind a romp with her tennis instructor is slim to none. Even though it is just a fantasy and she would most likely never act on it, it’s still one of her fantasies. It’s not like husbands don’t do the same thing.
14. Love of “The Other Industry”
Back in the days before the internet, countless teenage boys quickly closed their Playboy magazines and stuffed them under their pillows as they heard their mothers opening their bedroom doors. These days, a quick click of the mouse closes unsavory web pages under the same circumstances. The point is that there is a certain amount of embarrassment and discomfort involved when one is caught looking at p*rnography. It shouldn’t be too surprising to know that there are a lot of wives that enjoy surfing adult content on the internet and they keep it a closely-guarded secret. There is a certain expectation that guys watch their share of dirty clips but they don’t keep it as well hidden as their female counterparts. She’ll never tell you what she was really looking at when you were away at work.
13. What She Likes in Bed
Kristen Carpenter, Ph.D and Director of Women’s Behavioral Health at Wexner Medical Center at Ohio State says that she regularly sees women in her office that complain about how they aren’t s*xually satisfied. Carpenter explains that women don’t discuss “the deed” as much as men and that formal s*x education usually focuses on the mechanical and biological aspect while rarely mentioning the pleasure aspect. She claims that wives normally don’t tell their husbands what they don’t like when it comes to becoming intimate. Many fear that they could hurt their husband’s feeling. Carpenter suggests opening a conversation about s*x outside of the bedroom and approach it delicately. She advises women to tell their husbands about what they do like when they are between the sheets and then tell the male what they don’t like.
12. What Really Went on During the Girls’ Night Out
It’s pretty common for wives to get together once in a while and participate in one of those “girls’ nights out”. Most men envision a bunch of respectable ladies sitting around a table and talking about the latest fashions or the most recent episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Sure, they might discuss those things but they are also talking about plenty of other issues that they will never tell you about. Wives will never tell their husbands that the girls were talking about all the other secrets they keep as they were ogling the bartender and getting their buzzes on with Long Island iced teas. They’re definitely not going to tell you that they had a male stripper giving them lap dances. Most husbands are better off not knowing what goes on at these gatherings. It’s usually just harmless fun.
Like many of the entries on this list, this applies to both husbands and wives. Women tend to keep their spouses from knowing about their extramarital affairs. There are occasions when a woman is so obviously unhappy or unfulfilled that she will not go to great lengths to hide such activity. In fact, they will leave all sorts of clues. It is quite often a way for a wife to get the attention from her husband that she feels she has been missing out on. However, most of the time a woman will do all she can to keep her extramarital canoodling from her husband. She will convincingly act as if nothing out of the ordinary is going on. Guys are generally more trusting and blind to the clues whereas women tend to have a better sense that something is askew.
10. The Real Reason She’s Upset
This scenario plays out quite frequently and often leaves a husband in a state of confusion. Everything appears to be going well but the wife suddenly decides to start a fight. Or even worse, she’ll turn it around on the husband to make him start the fight. Now, any guy who has fallen victim to a raging wife’s PMS can usually chalk it up to, well, PMS. However, when a husband knows that it isn’t her time of the month he is usually left baffled when she inexplicably starts pressing his buttons for what he sees as no good reason. There’s a reason, Buddy. It’s just that she’s not going to tell you the reason because she is mad about something that she knows she has no right to criticize you for. It’s just her way of blowing off steam.
Having an addiction to drugs or alcohol is a deeply personal matter that very few affected people want to confront. Most husbands will eventually pick up on the signs when their wives become strung-out heroin addicts but it is a lot easier to keep a problem with alcohol or prescription drugs a secret. Of course, even the latter dependencies will be discovered sooner or later. Even though a spouse is supposed to be supportive and help in any way they can, wives feel a great amount of embarrassment and shame. Wives do not want to hurt their husbands or risk the possibility that they will be abandoned when the revelation is made. Something like this is a huge obstacle in any marriage and is one of the ultimate tests of a husband’s love and dedication.
8. Secret Social Media Accounts
This kind of goes hand-in-hand with her keeping secret the fact that she keeps in touch with her ex or other people that her husband might not approve of. Let’s face it, social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter allow anybody to connect (or reconnect) with anybody. While she is posting pictures of the two of you on Instagram and engaging in everyday banter with friends that you are also connected to, she might also have another account that she keeps secret. There are a number of reasons for this but the most obvious one is that she is keeping in touch with her ex and she doesn’t want you to know about it. She might also use her ghost account to secretly keep tabs on her husband. Whatever her motive, she will always hide it from her husband.
7. Relationship Problems
There are many things that couples disagree on. Wanting kids, how to raise the kids, where to live, and s*x are just a few subjects that come to mind. When a woman is unable to resolve these issues with her spouse, they often turn to therapy without their husbands’ knowledge. Therapist Jodie Voth claims that she sees this situation time and time again. The woman’s ultimate goal is usually to find out if the relationship is worth saving. Voth also notes that this approach can be effective but it is much better to have the spouse involved as to maintain a level of trust. However, a lot of women feel that it’s risky to involve the guy because it will give him an equal chance at influencing the fate of the relationship.
6. Personal Accomplishments
We will once again refer to Kristin Carpenter, PHD from the Wexler Medical Center at Ohio State who states that women are far less likely to go home to their husbands and brag about a promotion, raise in salary, or an improved time in a marathon. She says that women do not share their successes enough because they don’t want to cultivate an air of competition or make the male feel less worthy in their role of provider. According to Carpenter, men want smart and accomplished women but they don’t want their women to be smarter or more accomplished than they are. She advises women to find a guy that defines his self-worth using a number of determining factors and not the same areas in which she’s successful. She also stresses that women shouldn’t sabotage their personal achievements for their man.
5. Secret Bank Accounts
Keeping a secret bank account is likely something that men and women both do. Tomanika Witherspoon is a clinical therapist in Detroit and she thinks that one of the reasons that women keep secret bank accounts is so that they have a little bit of dough stashed away in case their relationship fails. It is something that is somewhat of a golden rule that is taught to them by their mothers. Having a secret rainy-day-fund gives a woman a sense of security but Witherspoon warns that a husband might interpret it to mean that the woman is planning on the marriage to fail. The husband can easily feel a sense of betrayal and believe that she is keeping other secrets. Women should weigh out all of the outcomes before secretly stashing money away.
4. Past Love Life
We live in the here and now and the past is the past. There is nothing you can really do about that. A lot of guys don’t have any trouble talking about their past love lives but, strangely enough, they aren’t as receptive to hearing about their wives’ past romances. Sure, the vast majority of men are smart enough to know that their wives have had previous relationships but they don’t really like to think about the dirty details. What guy wants to think about the love of his life getting busy with another dude? Women tend to keep those intimate details to themselves so that their husbands don’t get overwhelmed with feelings of competition or inadequacy. Of course, there are a few guys out there that get off on thinking about their wife being with another guy but it’s far from common.
One of the 15 things wives will always hide from their husbands is feelings of jealousy. It’s just that some women can hide these feelings a little better than others. One of a wife’s biggest fears is that some sexy bombshell is going to come along and be too much of a temptation for her husband. If a guy has had a long-running platonic relationship with a female or he works with other females, there is a good chance that the wife is jealous. Some women will covertly monitor their husband’s phone calls, check their shirt collars for those tell-tale lipstick stains, or secretly try to corroborate their account of their day with others. Other women will make it blatantly obvious that they have their eyes on their husband. They just won’t say that they’re jealous.
No woman wants her husband to think of her as a ravenous glutton. There are a lot of dedicated guys out there that truly love their wives even if they have packed on a few pounds. Some guys just have a hard time figuring out how their wives’ waistbands have expanded so noticeably when she normally eats salad and low-calorie foods whenever they eat together. One secret that women will keep from their husbands is when they are filling their faces with Whoppers, chocolate bars and bon-bons when they are alone. Many women present themselves as health-conscious eaters to their husbands. The reason she only eats a salad and a few veggies for dinner could be because she’s been secretly snacking on a bunch of those tasty “sin foods” all day.
1. Shopping Habits
There likely isn’t a guy out there that doesn’t know that women love to shop but there are loads of husbands that don’t know how much shopping their wives actually do. We’re not talking about picking up groceries for the week or buying the occasional pair of shoes. One thing that a lot of dudes are guilty of is not paying attention to smaller details. Sure, most guys know when their wives get a radical new hairdo or a new fur coat but the majority don’t notice when she gets a new dress, new shoes, or a new handbag. It makes it even harder to pick up on when there aren’t any unusual withdrawals from the bank account. There’s a good chance that your wife has got a credit card without you knowing and she’s having a ball at the mall.
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