Looking for a soul mate? Entering a friends with benefits agreement may not be for you.
You’ll find that being friends with benefits is a complicated scenario. It might seem exciting at first. What with doing things that couples do; going places, making out, and eventually finding yourselves locked in each others’ arms in bed; You’ll definitely feel energized and have that radiating inner glow.
However, you have to remember not to fall in love and not want a commitment for this kind of agreement to be mess-free. Unfortunately, not everyone can keep themselves from wanting and expecting more from this kind of “relationship.”
Women would most often find themselves at the losing side of a friends with benefits agreement. They are, after all, biologically designed to look for more conversations, passion, comfort, and security.
Unfortunately, some men can’t commit to being more than friends with someone they are friends with benefits with. These men are comfortable with just being intimate and would rather not be bothered by any attachments.
Obviously, this kind of scenario could leave some women with a very difficult decision to make. Do they quit being part of the friends with benefits game? Or can they still take part in this complicated and sorry excuse for a “relationship?” Will they be happier if they let go? Or should they take their sanity into consideration and just end it before she digs an even bigger grave for herself?
These women need to learn that they can be happy without having to enter a friends with benefits agreement.
Here’s a list of things women do when being friends with benefits get messy.
15. Panic Immediately
Okay, you’ve made the decision to experiment and decided to be friends with benefits with your childhood friend. He’s a great guy as you’ve noticed growing up; you can trust him, no harm done. Or so you think.
As your friends with benefits situation progresses and as the sex gets better, your emotions might be getting fuddled. You might now find yourself falling in love with this guy. Unfortunately, he has made it clear right from the start that he can’t offer you anything but companionship and intimacy.
What’s a girl like you to do? You’ll be panicking, of course! You know he’s going to reject you, but your heart’s in a terrible mess. You can’t live your life asking “what if’s?”
We say, stay calm and don’t waste your time stressing over this guy. You can decide to let him know about your growing feelings, but be prepared for what his answer might be. Who knows? He might be feeling the same things for you,too! If not, it’s his loss, anyway.
14. Stress eat all the food in the fridge
Uh oh! Your fear of being rejected by your friend with benefits has become a reality. You have just confessed your growing feelings, but he isn’t interested in taking things to another level.
Whether or not he played it cool upon hearing the news you had to share, it still must have hurt big time. What’s a rejected girl to do? One thing comes to mind and that is to eat. Yes, eat your broken heart away.
Get your hands on all the fries, ice cream, and chocolate you can. It seems junk food has a way of temporarily uplifting our mood. However, you must be careful not to overdo it. Otherwise, you might end up eating more than you can chew and find yourself gaining a few extra inches on your waist.
13. Get Depressed and experience mood swings
Unfortunately, not every one can handle rejections well. There may come a time when the hurt is just too much to bear; worst-case scenario, getting rejected might even lead to depression.
A depressed person may find herself feeling tired all the time, experiencing sudden weight loss, and feeling worthless. A depressed person may also suffer from difficulty sleeping or excessive sleeping.
If you ever experience the above symptoms, you should immediately seek support. Either ask help from your family and friends or it might be better to consult a medical professional if your symptoms are preventing you from functioning well.
12. Feel Suicidal
Severe depression makes a person feel a severe case of hopelessness. Unfortunately, not everyone can overcome these challenges. People suffering from severe depression may eventually hurt themselves or even have thoughts of committing suicide.
Survivors of suicide attempts have shared they don’t necessarily want to die. However, they wanted to escape the suffering and the pain they have been going through. This may not sound like a logical thing to do, but it happens.
Severe depression hinders a person from making right choices. Tell the people you trust if you are having thoughts of committing suicide. Remember, taking your own life is not the answer. Ask for help before it’s too late.
11. Stalker Mode
Most, if not all, girls turn their stalker mode on when they are interested in someone. They find out whether or not a guy they are crushing on is still available. If the guy is already in a relationship, these girls still check out photos and hoard details about their crush by any means possible. They even check the girlfriend’s profile to know more about the guy.
Girls who are rejected by their friends with benefits can do the same thing. The rejected girl will need to find out the reason why she’s experiencing unrequited love. Does her friend with benefit already have a girlfriend? Is he suddenly gay?
No matter the reason for the rejection, you must always remember that it isn’t your fault. You will eventually find that special someone who was meant to take care of you and love you for the rest of your life.
10. Buy A Gym Membership
Don’t get mad that you got rejected, get even! Take the rejection as an inspiration to improve yourself.
Some girls buy gym memberships and spend their time looking and feeling good about themselves. You can also make your friend with benefits drool over your smashing body when you hit your fitness goals.
Also, hitting the gym after being rejected is a great way to move on. Not only that, it can also help you attract other potential partners. However, the most important thing about spending your time at the gym is that you are taking better care of yourself.
9. Plan Trips
Your friends with benefits agreement is not working out. It used to feel so great having a “partner” around, but that is now a thing of the past. It feels like you’re breaking up, but you don’t have a real relationship to begin with anyway.
However, why does it hurt so bad? You may not officially have a relationship, but you have to understand that, over the course of your agreement, you have invested emotions and time. This makes it all the more confusing and complicated.
Plan a trip to help you get over your heartbreak. Focus on healing and immersing yourself in new cultures. Don’t forget about having data plans available so that you can communicate with loved ones when you’re feeling a little homesick.
8. Date Someone Else
Now that you’re friend with benefits has made it extra clear where you stand in your “relationship,” why not take this time to actually be in a real relationship?
Talk to people at the gym or mingle with locals at your travel destination! Go to a library and meet hot dudes who read if you’re a bookworm. On the other hand, the park is a great place to meet potential partners who love pets as much as you do.
However, remember to take your time. Acknowledge your feelings and don’t rush into anything. You might be up for some rebound relationships, but you’ll just be fooling yourself. Also, it won’t be fair for the new person you meet, especially if he is serious about dating you.
7. Or Pretend She’s Met Someone New
Surviving a messy friends with benefits agreement can be a nightmare. As much as you want to be with someone new, sometimes the universe has other plans. You’ll find yourself alone and still wishing for some companion.
However, that won’t paint a pretty picture if your then friend with benefits finds out. Don’t fret! You can always pretend you have a new date or two!
Maybe you can convince some other guy friends to help you out with your ploy. Ask them to go out with you and post happy photos on social media. Your friend with benefit doesn’t needsto know how hurt you were after being rejected.
6. Hang Out With The Girls
Another great way you can move on is to party with the girls! Watch a movie, attend a concert, or simply have a dinner and some cocktails. It doesn’t matter!
Don’t worry about meeting someone new just yet. The important thing is to have fun, catch up with the ladies, and forget about your friend with benefits.
Sure, you can regale the girls some stories about your failed “relationship,” but don’t dwell on it too much. Shed a tear or two if needed, but your goal is to make your day with the girls as fabulous as you all are!
5. Learn A New Hobby
Why not enroll in a baking class? Take up some dance lessons, perhaps? Invite the girls to join you while you’re at it!
Taking up a new hobby is an awesome idea to move on. It will keep you distracted, as well as helping you on your path to self-improvement.
Once you’ve learned a new hobby, you can probably even make some money out of it! Bake some cupcakes to sell at the weekend fair or create some art to sell on Etsy. See, being rejected isn’t all that bad. It all depends on how you manage and see life!
4. Be More Productive
Remember when you couldn’t focus on work because you were too busy pining for a guy who doesn’t appreciate you? Well, there’s a better way to go about it!
Focus now and make a killing at work. Show your boss how productive and efficient you are. Volunteer for some extra work if you feel you can manage the task at hand.
You not only make your boss appreciate you, you also get to distract yourself while being productive at the workplace. Who knows, this messy friends with benefits thing could even help you land that promotion you’ve been waiting for!
3. Save The Friendship
Great! You’ve just told your friend with benefits that you love him and he’s not into you. He lets you down gently and offers to just be friends.
He’s a great guy who’d rather keep you as a friend. He’s willing to let go of the intimate moments you’ve been sharing rather than risk losing you. What do you do?
If you’re up for it, you can accept his offer of being just friends. It might be awkward at first, but things should work out fine if you’re both serious about keeping the friendship.
To the uninitiated, ghosting is done when you suddenly stop all forms of communication with a lover. You may choose to let your “friend” know about your decision or you can just up and leave him hanging.
He’ll probably respect your wishes and leave you alone; which is what you want anyway. Or by some twist of fate, he might suddenly realize that he can’t leave without you and pursue you.
No matter the outcome, not talking to your friend with benefits may help you heal and get over the situation. Just make sure that you really are prepared to stop all communications before you ghost him.
1. Become Stronger
After all that you’ve been through, you should emerge stronger than before. You may still hurt. You’ll also probably feel some anger, but it’s ok.
Remember, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger; there is so much truth in that.
The bottomline here is that you have learned something from this unfortunate incident. Even better if you do not repeat the same mistakes again.
You may regret confessing your love and getting rejected, but at least you won’t live a life full of questions. You had the courage to follow your heart and that, lovely ladies, is what’s important!
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