Walk the streets of a busy city and you might experience some man-slamming. If you’ve never heard of man-slamming, I’ll give you some brief background on a study that labor organizer Beth Breslaw performed to see how men walk. She noticed that when a man and woman are walking towards one another on a crowded street, it’s usually the woman that has to move out of the way and make room for the oncoming entitled man. In an experiment, she decided that she wasn’t going to move out of the way and see what would happen. As a result, she collided into the majority of the men she walked by. This is where we got the term man-slamming. You can try it on your own, but brace yourself and perhaps try not to collide with a man twice your size or a one who looks like a creeper who might enjoy the collision a bit too much.
Male superiority is deemed medieval concept, but it still exists today in subtle forms because, let’s face it, men were born with a huge ego. Their entitlement factor is embedded in their DNA and affects the rest of their personality along with how they treat women. Here are the top fifteen things that, if they could, women would want to change about men.
15. Lose the Selective Hearing
I’m almost certain that all men have selective hearing. If you talk about something that they’re personally interested in, they’ll be completely engaged. Otherwise, you’ll lose them. Studies have actually proven that men can only listen to a woman ramble for a maximum of six minutes before zoning out, but on the other hand, they can chat with their male friends about sports for up to fifteen minutes. Neither of these statistics are very impressive to me, as I have once spent an entire night chatting with my chick friends during a teenage slumber party about every random thing under the sun.
14. Better Memory
If your man remembers your birthday, anniversary, and Valentine’s Day, then he’s a real keeper. I actually have some female friends who have husbands that are like really like this – oh yeah, they exist but they are a rare species, a dime in a dozen, somewhat like a solar eclipse. You’ve heard of them, but you’re in deep awe when you actually see one in person. Otherwise, this is why therapists recommend women just reminding men in advance to avoid repeated disappointments. Just like selective hearing, most men have selective memory. It’s better not to take it personally… they probably don’t even remember their own birthday when it comes around.
13. Be More Observant
Unless you shave off all your hair, don’t expect men to notice it when you get a haircut or even a complete change of hair color. Men usually don’t even pick up on the fact that their significant other has shed a few pounds, yet they are more prone to notice when she has packed on more weight. Even worse, men are pretty terrible at picking up on social cues and knowing when someone’s feeling down. It’s said that a key element of successful relationships is the ability to read one another. However, this trait is more commonly found in women since they are more emotionally intuitive.
12. More Head Hair, Less Body Hair
If you want to know what a man’s going to look like in 10-20 years, just take a good look at his father. If the men before him are bald with hairy chests, then it’s very likely that your man’s going to end up looking like that as well. I have honestly never met a woman who was “into” body hair. Granted, it’s expected that men should have hairy armpits, crotch, and legs but anything beyond that just becomes overkill. There’s perhaps nothing more annoying than hairy toes. Women prefer well-groomed men who shave and an occasional waxing doesn’t hurt either.
11. Be More Romantic
I’m not talking about the cheesy kind of romance that you see in desperate bachelors trying to impress the lady for that ‘first impression rose’. All it takes to be romantic is a little bit of intention and maybe some planning, although it doesn’t have to require too much time or money. One of the most romantic things I’ve ever seen was a woman finding a simple hand-written note from her husband in the lunch that he’d prepared for her the night before. You don’t have to be a Kanye West and write a song for your lover in order to be romantic. Although, I wouldn’t be complaining if I ever received that either.
10. Be More Adventurous
Once you settle into a comfortable relationship with a guy, one small problem will likely occur… He’ll start to get too comfortable. And by that, I mean lazy. Suddenly he doesn’t want to do anything fun or adventurous anymore and your ideal Friday night is spent on a couch with both of you wasting your lives away on your own individual smart devices. To all of you men who think your woman is completely fine with this, nope – they actually hate it. Women love spontaneity and going on random adventures. You don’t have to plan a daring or dramatic trip, but even simple visit to the new coffee shop in town is better than doing nothing.
9. Better at Heart-to-Heart Conversations
She’s not expecting you to be a substitute for her mom or sister. She just wants to be able to have a good heart-to-heart conversation with you every once in awhile. She wants to connect with you on an emotional level. I know what you’re thinking… men are not emotional beings. But all it takes is a little bit of effort. Try to act like you’re doing a good job at listening and then respond to her by providing some relative feedback. Every woman wants to develop an intimate bond with her life partner. Unfortunately for them, men just aren’t naturally wired this way.
8. Be More of a Leader
Nothing is more attractive than an assertive man who has the qualities of a great leader. And I’m not saying that men like this don’t exist or that women just want to be submissive followers. Some women are also excellent leaders and co-leaders (take Michelle Obama for example), but no woman wants a man who is incapable of stepping up to the plate when duty calls. Instead, women desire men who can handle sitting in the driver’s seat and navigating directions on their own. Men who can take care of themselves are better equipped to lead and take care of others.
7. Be More Involved
Men have an innate ability to mentally check out whenever the hell they want and they get a free pass because they’re men. In retrospect, it’s totally unfair that a man can miss out on the birth of his baby while the mom has absolutely no choice whatsoever. And it’s not like this isn’t an uncommon scenario either these days. Whatever happened to dads and husbands who were super involved in every aspect of the family? In reality, women have always had an incredible longing for their male counterparts to be more involved and interested in her and the things that matter to her.
6. More Passion for Things that Matter
A passion for video-gaming does not count, nor does it matter. Women are attracted to men who are passionate about their health, fitness, business, education, finances, successes, etc. These are the kinds of passions that indicate that a man is emotionally stable, confident, responsible, intelligent, and inspiring. Men who lack a meaningful passion appear to be quite the opposite – bland and boring. If you’re in a relationship with a man who seems to be lacking a sense of drive and ambition, encourage him to pursue his passions and you might be pretty impressed by where it leads him. Men are capable of amazing things when they’re fueled by passion.
5. More Supportive and Encouraging
Very few men are gifted with the ability to empathize and encourage. In fact, many women relate their experiences of talking to one to that of talking to a brick wall. Unless they’re a trained professional (chaplain, clergy, counselor, etc.) or they’re unusually sensitive, men just aren’t good at providing positive reinforcement, support, and encouragement. They’d rather watch other men run around a field chasing a ball into a goal than listen to a woman open up about her painful life experiences. Simply put, men just aren’t naturally wired to care. And if you do happen to engage in this type of conversation with a man, he’s more likely to give you cut-and-dry, get-over-it types of solutions for your problems rather than offer a shoulder to cry on.
4. More Common Ground
Just like how women desire more heart-to-heart, women also wish they could share more common ground with men. This doesn’t just apply to romantic partners, but also to professional colleagues as well. In fact, this is the one aspect that causes a rift between men and women. In the workplace, men naturally gravitate towards other men who they share more common interests with. This often leaves women wishing they could have an equal playing field when it comes to rubbing elbows with upper management. This also explains why men are more quick to earn promotions and share executive-level positions with other males.
3. Better Sense of Humor
They say that laughter is the key to every successful relationship. When you see a hot chick paired with a regular-looking Joe Blow, it’s probably because he’s got an amazing personality or is the life of a party. Especially after they’ve had their share of dating every type of guy in the book, women just want a man who can keep them happy. No one wants to be stuck with in a relationship like Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Desick where Desick is a total scumbag who could really use a major personality adjustment. Sometimes, men just need to lighten up and learn the art of putting a smile on a girl’s face.
2. Nicer in General
Let’s face it… most men just aren’t very sensitive beings. I’ve worked in departments where there were one or two women out of fifty men. Especially in computer-based settings, men just aren’t the most friendliest of people. I recall numerous accounts of asking an IT guy for help with a computer application only to be glared at and condescendingly spoken to like I was the village idiot. Granted, there are plenty of bitchy women out there in the world as well. But hey, we have to deal with PMS and mood swings. Otherwise, at our baseline, we’re pretty sensitive and amicable. Men, on the other hand, have no excuse for being bitchy.
1. Less Ego
How many men have you met in your lifetime who just thought they were the shit? Men just naturally have a big ego in contrast to their female counterparts who more frequently deal with insecurity issues. In fact, one of the top complaints women have about their male spouses or partners is his overwhelming pride. It’s very rare for a man to admit to his weaknesses and shortcomings. Just look at most father figures. It’s uncommon to see a father cry and when he does (at his daughter’s wedding or at a close relative’s funeral), it’s quite a moving sight to see. It’s even possible that men might easily pick up on all of the other traits after first tackling their ego.
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