Wax figures have been part of honouring our favorite celebrities for hundreds of years. While the practice of making them can be dated back to the Middle Ages, it was the establishment of London’s Madame Tussauds in the 1800’s that saw the art become a tourist attraction. These days, you know you’ve truly made it if you’re asked to model for a wax work for the famous museum. While some of the likenesses are truly stunning (for example Kylie Jenner’s latest), some of them can be a little…off (to say the least).
This past week has seen Madame Tussaud’s New York museum release a figure that is supposedly Beyonce. However, fans around the world were shocked, saying it looked more like the queen of pop Britney Spears than Queen Bey. With platinum blonde locks and a face that’s unrecognizable, the museum has been plastered over the press and dragged through the mud.
With that in mind, we thought it might be nice to take a look at some of the worst wax works ever made, that look creepy AF. While we’re not sure what museums all of these monstrosities are housed in, it’s probably for the best. You wouldn’t want to take a selfie with this motley looking crue.
15. MILEY CYRUS
There are more things wrong with this waxwork than we can even begin to point out – but I’ll try. The badly cut wig is only the start of Miley’s problems here. Things only go south from there. While this is clearly an attempt to picture Cyrus in her Hannah Montana days, it looks more like a six-year-old child playing dress up in her mom’s old clothes from her college days. The face is contorted in a way that screams more ‘HELP ME, I’M TRAPPED’ than Party in the USA. Madame Tussauds surely couldn’t commit this crime against the pop princess, so I’m guessing this is housed in a run-down establishment owned by a half-blind former artist called Elaine, somewhere in Alabama.
14. MICHEAL JACKSON
Michael Jackson (may he rest in peace) is one of the key figures in any wax museum. After all, he was (and still is albeit posthumously) the King of Pop. His hit-making throughout the decades made him one of the most recognizable celebrities of modern times…That is, until these guys decided to have a crack at a likeness of the Thriller singer – they made it a real horror show. Whoever is responsible for this is surely out of work now, given the fact that Michael looks more like a troubled Fez from That 70’s Show than an international pop star. Better luck next time.
Ah, Oprah. The queen of the talk show and the ultimate success story was anything but a success in this fumbled attempt. While the face does bear a resemblance to Oprah, the make-up artist has been a little heavy handed to say the least. Clearly, they missed the blending lesson – either that, or it’s supposed to look like that for some reason unbeknownst to us normal folk who don’t want to be scared out of our wits. Some museums have sections reserved specifically for scenes that are horrific and shocking. Maybe this is in that part, imagining a world where the audience gets nothing but nightmares for free.
12. ROWAN ATKINSON (AKA MR BEAN)
On a scale of one to a billion (one being not so far off and a billion being catastrophically wrong) this figure rates about a trillion. Mr Bean is played by the famous and esteemed comic, Rowan Atkinson. We’d like to know what he thinks of this snarl-mouthed figure, which looks more like a member of British Conservative parliament than one of TV’s best loved dopes. From the sinister arch of the eyebrow to the badly advised smile, if there was ever a mannequin plotting the demise of its audience, this was it. My advice? Run while you still can. Head for the nearest exit and never look back.
11. TOM CRUISE
We all have our off days. Sometimes we’ll just throw on whatever we have left hanging in the wardrobe, hope for the best and head out. I imagine that was the thought process behind the creator of this Tom Cruise monstrosity. Tom is famous for his boyish 100-kilowatt smile and mane of shiny brown hair… but does it usually look like he’s gone to bed with it wet, woke up and smoked a joint? The artist has managed to give us an insight into what would happen if Tom was exiled from the church of Scientology and instead took up a simple life – presumably behind a dumpster.
10. MIKE MYERS
This one is a little less ‘Groovy baby’ and a little more ‘oh, no!’ It’s not uncommon for waxwork establishments to opt for recreating favorite characters instead of just our favorite actors (see the Mr Bean entry above). In this case, they hoped people would pay good money to see the time travelling spy, Austin Powers. Unfortunately for us, his goofy charm has been replaced with what looks like the buck teeth of a donkey decorated with the hair of the Bride of Chucky. Most likely, Austin is trapped inside the sort of place that attracts a grand total of 5 visitors a week who only buy a ticket so they can use the bathroom.
9. PRINCE WILLIAM
Prince William will most likely be the King of England one day. His first decree as King should definitely be to recall any unflattering likenesses ever created of him – it’s definitely what I would do, wouldn’t you? This unfortunate creation is what happens when the worlds of wax figures and accidental caricature collide. The result is a picture of a royal who looks less like a royal and more like a hamster who has overindulged on his feed. That’s just the wax figure of course, sorry Will – I personally think you’re rather dashing in reality and really, that’s all that matters isn’t it?
8. ELTON JOHN
Up there at the same dizzying heights of fame as Michael Jackson, we have the great pianist and signer, Elton John. Elton made some questionable fashion choices in the 80’s (didn’t we all), but he did absolutely nothing to deserve being insulted in such a dire way. You’d be forgiven for thinking that this isn’t Elton John at all, but the wacky comic Jim Carrey simply posing as him…is it? No, unfortunately it’s not and this is ‘still standing’ in a dingy corner somewhere. Perhaps the artist was working on a figure of Carrey and John at the same time, resulting in this very strange hybrid. Who the hell knows.
7. JULIA ROBERTS
For a star that had a hit with the movie Pretty Woman, it’s ironic that Roberts would end up immortalized in such an ugly way. The narrow bridge of the nose leads to disproportionately enlarged lips and a chin that you could rest your drink on – all framed by greasy looking locks of auburn hair that tumble down any which way. It’s a celebrities worst nightmare, even worse than a dud at the box office that kills your career. After all, if no-one remembers you, at least they won’t remember you looking like a cross between MJ and a shovel.
6. JIM CARREY
This is probably one of the worst offenders on this list (and most likely of all time). Here the severely misguided artist has decided to create a living embodiment of the devil himself – or rather, Jim Carrey as his Ace Venture Pet Detective persona. While it’s true that Carrey has a face that he can distort to his own advantage for his many roles, even he himself would struggle bending his features into this rigor mortis like state. That’s exactly what this looks like, an off-color corpse that died mid-joke at the comedy club on Hawaiian night. There’s not much else to say about this. Alrighty-then.
5. ELLEN DEGENERES
Before The Ellen DeGeneres Show, there was the sitcom, Ellen. Ellen made waves when she came out as gay during the run of the hit show, eventually leading to the shows demise in a time when America’s mainstream audiences just weren’t ready. Let me tell you – no one is ever ready to see this figure. The beautiful Ellen has been done a huge disservice here, looking more like Gonzo from The Muppet Show than anything like one of the world’s best beloved icons. Come on guys, we can do better than this heinous attempt. It’s nothing short of scary, intrusive and just plain WRONG.
4. BRITNEY SPEARS
Ah, early 00’s Britney. Back in the day when Britney and Justin Timberlake were still together and double denim was everywhere, this wax creation was being conceived. It’s a little difficult to imagine a world in which this figure still exists, but this is 2017 and worse things have happened. It’s probably still kicking around somewhere wondering why Justin released Cry Me a River. Note the hands posed disturbingly behind her head…is that an ax she’s holding, ready to wreak havoc on those that dare mock her waxy appearance? Are you sure you want to find out? I’m going to pass.
3. PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON
Say it after me – ‘I did not have sexual relations with that woman!’ Now we’ve got that out of the way, here we have former president of the United States, Bill Clinton. While I’m sure we can all agree that the artist has definitely attempted to get the smug smile of Clinton here, it’s ended up bearing more of a resemblance to Kim Jong Un than Bill Clinton – or, is it Bill Clinton in the midst of a severe allergic reaction? Does anyone have some antihistamines we can feed to the poor thing? Theories abound as to why this likeness is so odd. Could they have left the heat on a little long?
2. SYVLESTER STALLONE (AKA RAMBO)
Every male fancies themselves as somewhat of a Rambo, making this famous character played by Sylvester Stallone a sure fire hit in any museum. Yes, Rambo is butch and manly, a testosterone fuelled embodiment of all that is stereo-typically male. However…there’s not much of an explanation for what on earth is going on with Stallone’s face in this atrocious piece of meltable art. I use the term art very loosely, of course. His hair looks very much like he went to the same haphazard hairdresser as our first entry, Miley. There’s a famous quote from the movie, spoken by Teasle – ‘Whatever possessed God in heaven to make a man like Rambo?’ Indeed, Teasle. Indeed.
1. JENNIFER GARNER
Star of many a rom-com such as Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past and 13 Going on 30, Jennifer Garner deserves to be praised in a fine wax establishment just like her peers. She’s beautiful, talented and one of the most popular leading ladies in Hollywood. Unfortunately for the former Mrs Affleck, the artist assigned to her waxwork clearly wasn’t a fan and decided to get some payback for the two hours they’d never get back after watching The Odd Life of Timothy Green. There are fewer things more deeply unsettling than the stare of this deadened figure, threateningly holding a firearm. I apologize in advance for your sleepless night.
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