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15 Ways To Get Through Life If You’re A Lazy Piece Of Garbage

15 Ways To Get Through Life If You’re A Lazy Piece Of Garbage

Everyone has those lazy moments when all they want to do is sleep and drag their lazy feet across the house all day. This happens every other alternative weekend, or something close to that. There are those who fight it off, saving the clean-up for another day. There are also the more disciplined, who force themselves to work through the laziness. Then there is the third group of people (insert your name here!), who don’t have ‘bouts of laziness’, but rather, laziness is to them a lifestyle. Adulthood is so hard; it comes with so many chores! The worst part of adulthood is that there’s no one to pick up after you; if you make a mess it will stay that way for as long as it takes you to muster up the effort to clean it! But life doesn’t have to be so hard for you oh dear lazy one, neither does it have to be so messy. Other people just as lazy as you have managed to cheat their way out of these messes! Don’t believe it? Take a look at the hacks we’ve come up with! This is basically your ‘how to live a clean lifestyle with almost zero effort’ guide!

15. When cleaning bathroom Spray a no-wipe cleaner


Well, if you are a lazy piece of garbage, then you know taking a bath or shower comes as a luxury to you! At some point, however, you’ll need to clean up your bathroom. However, cleaning up will mean cleaning up after yourself, and that’s more work for you (we really don’t want that). Lucky enough for you, we have a remedy. Spray a no wipe cleaner on the tiles of your shower walls when you have to clean up. You will not need to touch those grimy tiles anymore. It’s genius because all you have to do is just spritz a few times without any elbow grease whatsoever and voila, you can return to your lazy schedule of Netflix binging.

14. No Dirty Dishes hack


Do you have plastic wrap in your kitchen? If yes, you are already on the right track. If not, get your lazy self out of the couch and go get some! It might save you from a pile of dishes giving you the guilty “wash me” glance. Simply line your dish with plastic wrap, serve, eat, do away with the used plastic wrap, and return the plate to the clean dishes section in your kitchen. It’s all clean and ready to use again. You could also avoid plates by serving tortillas in your kitchen. Serve your meal on it and gobble it all down; including your tortilla ‘plate’. Assuming you are too lazy to make tortillas and find it too tasking to wrap a plate whenever it’s time to eat, there is always the third option of disposable camp dishes. Simply eat and throw the disposable plate away; after all, you can’t have dirty dishes if you have no dishes to begin with!

13. No dirty panties hack


A panty liner a day makes a panty wearable as many times as possible. Provided your “pie” area stays protected and your panty still manages to hold your behind in place, there is any problem with a repeat every once in a while. Panty liners also make the panties easier to wash, they’re literally still clean. Here comes the but: you might need extra panties just in case your partner starts making a fuss of your collection of two panties! Though men are often tagged as absent-minded, this is the one area he will not fail to notice! And if you’re a guy, flip those boxers inside out and enjoy! We just made your life that much easier.

12. Put some shine on it


How long does it take to scrub layers of watermarks/grease/ rust off surfaces? An hour? A couple of days? Don’t sweat it anymore; use some furniture polish to bring every surface to a sparkling level of cleanliness. However do not, in your zeal, use the furniture polish on floors. You’re already lazy, last thing we need is for you to be toothless as well! What if you can’t access furniture polish? Well its simple really, you could use vinegar or bicarbonate of soda to wipe metallic surfaces like the shower rims, sinks, etc. It might not be as instant as the polish, so after you spray the vinegar or mix of bicarbonate soda on the surface, let it settle for a while. You can then commence scrubbing.

11. The freezer food hack


Nobody is too lazy to eat. Too bad the same doesn’t apply to the process right before eating; the preparation. Counter this by freezing leftover food, or even making large quantities of food. You could also buy ready-made foods from the grocery store. Regardless of what option you choose, freeze it all! This is such a perfect lazy-person hack. Whenever you come from work tired, draw out your frozen meal, throw it in the microwave for some thawing and reheating and there you have it! You are good to go. For mothers with young kids, you could pack a whole week’s lunch for your children, easing your mornings. Just be sure to check on the foods frequently. or your refrigerator could end up smelling like something out of a zombie movie!

10. Fridge-cleaning hack


You ever met anyone who was excited to clean the fridge? I think not! Lazy or not, fridge cleaning has to be one of the more dreary housekeeping tasks! Most lazy people own a fridge for simple hacks as explained in the previous point. A stack of food in the refrigerator could mean fluids and food spillovers ones in a while. Nobody likes cleaning that cold box up! To make your work easier, simply line the trays with plastic wrap before stacking the food. When cleaning, unwrap the paper and do some light-duty cleaning; more or less like rinsing. You could also use charcoal to absorb any odour.

9. Kiddo in a Cardboard box


Hallo to all the parents out there! Are your children the type who go about your walls drawing spirals of meaningless shapes? Or are they perhaps the type who throw their toys everywhere, including the little tiny one that pricks your feet every night after you tuck them in bed? With all that you’ve got going on, it’s no surprise that you don’t have the energy to pick up after the tiny toddlers. Well, here is a simple hack, put that cheeky little one in a cardboard box and let them draw in the box all they want to. You could also throw in their toys in there and when playtime is done, pour the toys into the toy box/bag without breaking a sweat. Just be careful they don’t step on the toys while at it. If the box can fit two of them even better, they could entertain themselves for hours. However be sure to check on them once every so often. Have them in the same room as you as you do your other chores.

8. Wipe the make-up off


Gone are the days when washing makeup off before going to bed was a thing. In this era where face wipes of all kinds exist, washing one’s face is not a must-do. Simply go to the store and get an appropriate pack of facial wipes within your stipulated budget. When you’re done looking pretty for the world, wipe the layers of lipstick, mascara, foundation, concealers, powder and other makeup components off your face. Be keen to get a wipe that’s not too strong for your skin type, to avoid suffocating your pores. Facial wipes with cleansers are the best. Now you don’t have to worry about raccoon eyes the next day, or fear an icky and sudden breakout because you were too lazy to wash your face the night before.

7. Let the blender clean itself

You know the worst part about cleaning a blender? The sharp, hidden propeller that keeps leaving scars on your hands. It sounds like a ridiculous idea, but blenders can indeed ‘clean’ themselves. Next time you are done using your blender, add some liquid dishwashing soap and water, cover the blender and switch it on to blend for a while. This helps wash the regions that your clumsy hands can’t squeeze into. Finally, rinse dry and store, ready for the next use. It almost sounds like a fun activity as opposed to a chore! Bet this makes up for all the scars on your hands!

6. Eat from the pot


I guess this could get your butt whooped if you’re staying at your momma’s house. But, if you live alone, you could get to the house, make some quick -fix-meal such as macaroni and eat from the same cooking pot. Now I know this thought makes you feel like Tarzan right about now but just remember, no one’s watching! It might not feel like a classy candle-lit dinner, but you won’t be sorry when you have a dish-free sink! Gotta remember to leave those habits in your house though, last thing you need is to be walking around with a pot during a buffet luncheon!

5. Dress “up” for the video conference.


We all have that one scheduled conference call that we forgot about, or were too hungover to get ready for! Well don’t fret, here’s a quick fix for you, Just wash your face, dress the upper part of your body into a decent official shirt, throw on a dapper coat and a tie, go to your desk and attend to your call. Who cares whether you are half naked? It’s only the top part that shows, right? You will be much more comfortable in your boxers or pyjama bottoms anyway. However, you will have to cross your fingers as far back as they go that you are not asked to stand up!

4. Sketch Your Baby’s Feet Before Buying Shoes


Yeah, you’ve postponed buying that baby shoe long enough. You might have succeeded in convincing yourself that you do not have the time to go to the store, but we all know you are flat-out lazy! Now babies grow at an abnormally fast rate, nobody is blaming you for feeling your baby is too big to carry all around the store. Simply put the baby’s feet on a piece of paper, trace the outline of their foot, and carry the drawing to the shoe store. Ask the salesperson to help you find the perfect fit from the cut-out. Sounds out of this world, but you’d be surprised just how many parents already use this hack!

3. The Peep-toe shoe hack


How neat are your toenails? Don’t have time for a complete pedicure? Or are you the lazy one who can survive unashamedly on chipped nail polish? Well, take a number! I suppose you curse yourself every time a random evening out with the guys at work comes up and you have no time to fix the mess that is your feet? Well, you could consider painting the big toe and the second toe on both feet. You could hide the other ‘horrible’ toes in a peep-toe shoe. You’d be surprised how trusting human beings are! Nobody would question the state of your other toenails for a second! It would be your ‘toe-y little secret’!

2. Buy ready-made meals


Making cake mix from scratch, baking beans, tenderizing meat, grating cheese, making tortillas… the long process of preparing food really isn’t compulsory anymore. Every store has ready-made canned or frozen food that you could grab and make, without a hassle. You could also stop by a fast-food store and order whatever you wanna eat, without doing all the donkey work. Also, when you are done with your food you can just discard the empty containers and completely skip the cleaning dishes part!

It’s good to know the basics though, you’re gonna need to make your act believable during Thanksgiving when your mother in law is around and you’re still waiting on the restaurant-turkey you secretly ordered!

1. Reverse the onesie


As parents, we wanna celebrate our child’s each and every achievement. However it’s really hard to be proud of your baby for learning how to open the bottom of the romper they’re wearing, when that inevitably means you’re gonna keep finding dirty diapers all over the floor because ‘baby got access to them’. That means constantly cleaning the baby, and constantly cleaning the floor. You could try and reverse the onesie, put it on front-side-back. This would be harder for the baby to work around. You’ve got to make sure to change the baby’s diaper regularly though, there’s no hack around that!


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