First dates are full of twisted realities and “alternative facts.” We are all trying to look a little better than we actually are in order to give us a chance at finding love…that is the goal of a first date, for most people. It’s not uncommon to build yourself up a little bit. Perhaps you want to hide your bad habits, or highlight things you’re good at. Whatever the case may be, little white lies crop up on first dates, and it’s important to be aware of how to handle them when you hear them. Even if you are an incredibly honest person that appreciates honesty, there is room for growth if you hear any white lies on that first date, so don’t give up just because you hear one of these lines.
While I’m sure you’ve never told a white lie in your life on a first date (yes, that is dripping with sarcasm) such as “Oh, I love my job,” or “I’ve never had any complaints from past lovers”, there are a few very common ones to look out for on your first date with a woman. Here are the 15 most common white lies women tell on a first date, and how you can interpret them to assess if this girl is worth your time.
15. “Yeah, I Love to Hike”
Generally, if we are on a date with an extremely athletic man, and we aren’t necessarily athletic ourselves, we’ll try to connect with their interests rather than shut down things that you like. If you’re outdoorsy, we will find something we like to do outdoors and tell you that we like it. Hiking is a great fallback, because it is, essentially, walking around outside. It helps head off the different activities (water skiing, white water rafting, other terrible things) that you might invite us to do later.
Now, there are many women out there who actually do like to hike, and love outdoor adventures. To get to the root of this situation, simply ask your date for more details and probably some pictures. If she has pics of her and her friends hitting the trails, she’s not just playing around (but she may not be as active as she lets on).
14. “I’m Not a Big Eater”
The vast majority of the population loves food. It’s why you’re at this restaurant and not at a coffee house. While she may not be a “big eater” in the sense that she can’t take down a lot, she definitely likes to eat… it’s an instinctual thing. So, if she’s picking at the food that you’re paying for, and then says “I’m not a big eater,” she probably ate before she met up with you, or she plans on devouring her dinner after she goes home. Either way, very few women aren’t big eaters… I, for one, will hold myself back on a first date, because guys are usually turned off when their date out-eats them.
13. “I’ve Never Gotten That Drunk”
Or, “I’ve never had so much to drink,” or, “I’m not a big drinker.” If she graduated from college, she has had experience drinking a lot. If she didn’t graduate from college, she has had experience drinking a lot too. Barring religious or personal reasons, it’s rare that an adult woman has never been “that drunk.” When a woman says this to you, simply respect her decision when she turns down a second or third glass of wine. It’s that simple. Not all women who say this are alcoholics by any means, they simply want you to know that they aren’t alcoholics, and a little white lie can ease your mind a bit.
12. “I Don’t Go On Diets Often”
There are women out there who have no interest in their body or their health, but most women pay close attention to their health, if not their weight. It’s not an obsession, but it can be perceived as one very quickly if they start talking about all of the diets they’ve been on and the wonders of coconut oil on the first date. This is a simple case of telling a little white lie to hold back something that we fear you might see as obsessive or crazy. If a woman says this, simply say, “well you don’t need to.” Or you can ask her what she does to stay healthy. This is a great way to keep the conversation going and show that you are interested in her.
11. “It Only Takes Me About 15 Minutes To Get Ready”
Yeah, no it didn’t. Maybe only a 15-minute shower. I’m sorry, gentlemen, but there is nothing more annoying than a guy who has high standards, but nags about the amount of time it takes a woman to meet those standards. And most women will tell this white lie, because they are worried about your judgement, especially on the first date. If your girl is in full makeup with wavy hair, and actually dressed in something that isn’t yoga pants and a sports bra, it took her more than 15 minutes, and you shouldn’t worry about that either way. If you want to keep this conversation going, tell her that she looks beautiful, or that it doesn’t matter to you either way.
10. “It’s Totally Cool That You’re 30 And Live With Your Mom”
Alright, this is one that doesn’t show up as often as it used to. In this economy, many more younger people are living with their parents until marriage (or long-term relationships), and you shouldn’t feel ashamed about it. In general, women will say this to ease any anxieties you might have with this fact. For the most part, they might not care, but there is an odd double standard with women who have their own place and men who still live with their parents. You can engage in this conversation by letting her know your five-year plan or talking about the future. There’s no shame in living with your parents, and she knows that, but having a conversation about it will help ease her mind a little.
9. “I Don’t Date Much”
Oh yeah, then what are you doing right now? This white lie comes from both men and women. First of all, it’s none of your business how much your current date has dated in the past (this goes for men and women), unless of course, the topic of conversation is whether or not the two of you should date exclusively. This white lie also functions as a way for any socially awkward person to excuse herself from a faux pas or two that she lets slip. If she doesn’t get out much, maybe you’ll give her a little bit of wiggle room on how nervous she’s acting. Ultimately, the best way to get past this white lie is to bring up the conversation again during a later date when the two of you know each other a little better.
8. “I Don’t Smoke”
Or… I only smoke a little. Or… I only smoke socially. Smokers are a dying breed, but they still exist. In recent years, smoking cigarettes has become taboo in many social circles. All smokers know that smoking is horrible for their health. They know that it could kill them. Most of them know that they smell terrible and their teeth are yellow. However, smoking is an addiction, and most people don’t want to let out such a taboo addiction as early as the first date, especially if they are on a date with a non-smoker. To “smoke out” the situation, pay attention to how much she fidgets after the meal, and if she pops chewing gum into her mouth. She may just need a cigarette.
7. “My Family Is Totally Normal”
We all know that no one’s family is totally normal. Even the most dysfunctional of families can be super close to each other, but that doesn’t mean that they’re normal. Both men and women tell this little white lie on first dates, if the topic comes up. As far as first date conversations are concerned, no one wants to hear about parents divorcing, the struggles of sibling rivalry, or disputes at large family functions. If you hear this little white lie during a first date, take it with a grain of salt, because not everybody is their family, and the person you’re sitting across could very well be a diamond in the rough.
6. “I Only Have One Bad Habit…Not 1,000”
Everyone has bad habits. Not everyone wants to be open about them, especially on a first date. This is a rare case where a little white lie can become a big problem if the relationship takes off, and you start to learn more and more about the person. Nail biting and speeding through school zones aside, if excessive drinking or hard drugs are a factor, this can be a problem. If you get on the topic of bad habits with your date, pay close attention to her body language, and how she responds when you ask for specifics. Follow your gut in these situations, and make sure you take note of any red flags.
5. “It’s Been a While”
As stated in #9, it’s no one’s business who did what in the past. So long as your partner has been tested, her past sexual experiences shouldn’t matter to you as much as how you feel when you’re with her. The same goes for her; she shouldn’t be worried about your past so long as you’ve been tested. With that said, this little white lie isn’t always a lie. She is with you on a first date, and it really could have been a while since her last experience. If you really want to know if she’s telling the truth or not, feel free to ask her about her previous boyfriends and how she feels about sex, but beware…it’s never good to ask a question if you’re not prepared to hear the answer.
4. “I Love That Movie!”
Or sport… or sports team… or show… or whatever. When it comes to engaging in conversation on a first date, many women will entertain your likes in order to get more involved. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and as long as they have heard about whatever it is you’re talking about, they will give you the benefit of the doubt, and let you talk about it until you’re blue in the face. To figure out if she really does love that show (or whatever it is she says she shares interest in with you), start talking about specifics. Go into the theories behind the show. See how she reacts. The truth comes out pretty quickly once you start doing this.
3. “You Have a Son? I Love Children!”
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with a single dad, and most women really aren’t turned off by it. However, nearly all women will be as truthful as possible when it comes to hearing the news that you have a little one. When a woman isn’t really worried about the fact that you have a child, she’ll usually say “I love children.” She might not actually love children, but this generally means that she isn’t turned off by the fact that you’ve already procreated with another human being. This white lie isn’t a bad one by any means. It simply means that she is open to and accepting of your current life situation.
2. “I Do Yoga Basically Every Day”
Unless she starts showing you pics of her doing yoga on a mountaintop, or she is a yoga instructor, she probably doesn’t do yoga basically every day. Yoga is an easy topic to talk about, and allows men to fantasize about limber women and what they can do in bed. It also shows her as someone who cares about her health and wellness. Now, even if she doesn’t do yoga basically every day, she is probably still interested in her health, she just really wants you to know it. If you hear this on your first date, and you want to get to the root of the topic, ask her how she finds the time. That should bring the truth out pretty quickly.
1. “I Love To Cook!”
I really do love to cook. A lot of women love to cook. However, some women aren’t huge fans of cooking, but somewhere deep down, early in our lives, we hear the saying, “The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” and some of us take that as gospel that is true. This doesn’t necessarily help those looking for love who don’t like to cook. Now, just because it isn’t her favourite past time doesn’t mean she hates it altogether. When you hear a woman tell you that she loves to cook, ask her what her specialty is. She may just be a foodie who loves to talk about food.
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