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16 Smart Products Designed for Dumb People

16 Smart Products Designed for Dumb People

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Do you remember Marty McFly’s self-lacing shoes from Back to the Future? Or his phone glasses that are actually available today in the form of Google Glass? Some of the gadgets we have available today are signs that we are really living in the future. Technology is supposed to make life more convenient and more advanced. Smart gadgets, as we like to call them, are supposed to do the thinking for us. However, sometimes smart gadgets can just make us look like total idiots. Some of the products on the market today make humans look like we’re digressing for the worse. Granted, smartphones have given us so many capabilities that we could have never imagined decades ago. But whoever invented some of these other smart products must have really underestimated human ability.

Take a look at the following sixteen products and you’ll see that some of them were just designed for the worst of us. You have to wonder who would actually buy and of these items or find them useful. It’s a surprise that some of them have actually become pretty successful products. Some barely make the cut as smart products and should probably just be called dumb products.

16. HAPIfork Weight-Loss Fork


For desperate dieters who have exhausted all of their options, here’s a possible solution to try out. It’s HAPIfork, a smart fork that coaches you into healthier eating habits. It literally scolds you when you’re overeating or eating too fast, habits that lead to poor digestion and poor weight control. You can then track your progress on your smart phone and see if your eating habits have improved over time. You can purchase this smart fork for around $80 at Amazon, and it actually has some pretty good reviews. I guess some people have found value in a feedback-giving fork.

15. Eggminder Reminds You to Buy More Eggs


The Eggminder is a smart and quirky egg tray that you can sync with your smart phone. Not only does it tell you how many eggs you have left at home, but it also tells you if your eggs are going bad. If you’re obsessed with eggs, or if they’re your favorite food, then this product might be worth the investment. Otherwise, it can also make a hilarious yet inexpensive gag gift, priced at just $11.99 on Amazon. However, the reviews are somewhat mixed so some might love it and others might just chuck it, or chuckle at the sight of it.

14. my.Flow Tampon Monitor Tells You When It’s Full


The my.Flow tampon monitor takes an innovative, high-tech spin on your average tampon. This product was especially designed for women who have a hard time knowing when their tampon is too full – women who often deal with the burdens of leaks and stains. The way it works is that the my.Flow tampons have an extra long string that are attached to a monitor which you can attach to your belt loops. It sounds awfully uncomfortable, but some women might find it to be a total game-changer. I guess some women aren’t as intuitive with their own bodies as they’d like to be and this device would solve all their problems.

13. BatBand Ear-Free Headphones


Here’s a nifty solution for those of you who don’t like listening to music with your ears. The geniuses at Batband have created the world’s first ear-less headphones for $200. In case you’re puzzled, just imagine a sleek band that wraps around the back of your head with its ends resting near your temples. Who might appreciate a gadget like this? Perhaps someone who wants to keep their music to themselves, yet free up their ears for some multi-tasking. Or maybe someone who finds ear buds and headphones uncomfortable. I’ve never met anyone that has personally dealt with this issue, but if you know someone who has, you might want to recommend these.

12. L’Oreal’s Coaching Hairbrush


This hair brush is especially designed for humans who lack the knowledge and ability to care for their hair. The Kerastase Hair Coach (made by L’Oreal) will literally coach you on how to brush your hair, letting you know if you have too many split ends or if your hair’s a little too dry. And before being too quick to judge anyone who might actually find value in this gadget, the goal of this brush it to take the stress out of combing your hair. Thanks, L’Oreal. You’ve taken a real step towards creating a solution for all of life’s burdens.

11. Starbucks Tumbler Tells You if It’s Too Hot


For those of you who have scorched your tongue one too many times on hot tea or coffee, this smart tumbler was designed for you. The Ember is Starbucks’ smart tumbler that can be programmed to set your drink at preferred temperature of choice. So if you like, you can keep your coffee hot all day long. Also, the Ember will tell you when your drink has cooled enough to drink without burning your tongue. And don’t be too quick to underestimate this unique invention. At $150 a piece, the Ember tumbler has completely sold out and is no longer available for purchase.

10. Denso Vacuum Cleaner Shoes


Japan is known for crafting up some pretty quirky gadgets.  Among them is this pair of vacuum cleaning “Ecology Shoes”. The way it works is that there are small pedals located at the heals that are connected to gears so that it powers on with each step you take.  So to enable the vacuuming action, you’d have to take lots of steps.  Also, the dust box (not dust bag) is no bigger than a box of Tic Tacs.  If you’re thinking that this product sounds terribly impractical, don’t worry – it’s not actually available on the consumer market. Denso created it solely for trade-show display.

9. Oombrella Umbrella That Never Gets Lost


You’ve probably experienced the frustration of walking into a restaurant or theatre on a rainy day and losing your umbrella at the front door.  Or maybe you’ve bought over ten umbrellas within a year because you keep losing them.  Whatever be the case, this smart umbrella was designed by a company called Wezzoo to help you never lose your umbrella ever again.  You can connect it to your smart phone and it’ll beep any time you walk more than eighty feet away from it.  It’s a clingy umbrella that refuses to be forgotten.  Besides the fact that it looks like a pretty standard umbrella, we can also argue that it’s well-made and might be worth the $80… or not.

8. Flosstime Flossing Accountability Partner


Chances are that you’re not one of the thirty percent of Americans who floss on a daily basis.  This Flosstime Automated Floss Dispenser is designed to frown at you when you’ve forgotten to floss your teeth.  Also, it dispenses just the right amount of floss (18 inches), in case you’re prone to wasting valuable floss.  It also has a pretty sleek design (looks similar to a smaller, shorter version of the Alexa Dot) and conveniently sticks to your bathroom mirror.  At just under $30, this product actually has near-perfect Amazon reviews, so we can’t be too quick to dismiss its usefulness.

7. Infinity Pitcher That Reorders Filters


If this product is smart for anyone, it’s gotta be the maker, Brita. Upon activation of Amazon Auto Replenishment, the Brita Infinity Smart Water Pitcher will automatically reorder a replacement Brita filters for you.  And according to Brita, each filter is good for about forty pitchers worth of water.  So depending on how much water you consume, be ready to be auto-billed for filters.  No wonder it’s called the Infinity – you’ll have an infinite supply of filters that’ll last you for life.  Other than the auto-order features, this smart pitcher acts like any other pitcher, so I guess it’s geared to those of you who are super OCD about replacing your filters on time.

6. Dash Button That Reorders Detergent


Now the Tide Dash Button only costs $4.99, but you gotta wonder if it’s really necessary. The whole point of it is that you place it by your detergent supply and push the button when you notice that your Tide pods or detergent are running low. The button emits a signal to Amazon to automatically reorder more detergent for you so that you receive it in the mail before you run out. And you can use a dash button for any product imaginable, not just Tide products. Just place the button near your supply and set up your Amazon account to have that product reordered any time you press the button.

5. Suit That Syncs With Your Smartphone


The Samsung Smart Suit is an average looking suit with one ‘smart’ quality – an NFC tag is sewn into the wrist that can sync with your smartphone.  Just wave the tag over your smartphone to silence your phone, set different modes, and swap business cards digitally. The concept is pretty unique, but a bit impractical. You’d wonder why someone would want to buy an entire smart suit ensemble when they could just wear an Apple watch that could perform almost all of the same functions. And let’s not forget the fact that a suit would be much more expensive compared to a smart watch.

4. Pause Box to Shut Off Your Smartphone


The Pause box is a dull-looking metal box that costs about $40 to perform a pretty useless function. Basically, if you don’t want to be distracted by your phone for a set period of time, you can place it in the box and it’ll block your phone from receiving any wifi or cell signals. So, if you’re watching a good movie and just want to be phone-free, the Pause box might come in handy. Otherwise, you can also just set your phone on silent and call it a day. I guess for someone who’s not so savvy with how to use their phone settings, however, this might be a useful tool.

3. Drowse Buster-E to Keep You Awake


If you’re about to embark on a long road trip or if you need help staying awake in church, you might find the Drowse Buster-E to be a handy gadget – or it might be just a placebo. The device connects to your earlobes and emits acupuncture impulses to send wake frequencies to your brain. The sensation is supposed to be comparable to having a bucket of ice dumped over your head. If acupuncture is your thing, this might be for you. Otherwise, acupuncture hasn’t been proven to be scientifically effective, so this little gadget might just be a huge hoax.

2. Ring Zero Controls Your Lighting


Longbar’s Ring Zero costs $150 and looks like a thick, black metal ring. But it has smart capabilities that allows you to control the lighting in your home. Sound familiar? The Amazon Echo and Google Home can do the exact same thing and much more. Also, the Ring Zero only works about half of the time. Thankfully, many others agree that this product is pretty shitty, and the ring has received a plethora of bad reviews. Not just that, but it’s also pretty ugly, and for $150, you might as well invest that in an authentic piece of fine jewelry.

1. NoPhone Zero Phone That Serves No Purpose


According to the reviews, this is “the best fake phone yet.” What you get with your $10 purchase is a plain black piece of metal (or cardboard) about the same size as your hand-held smartphone that has no buttons and no screen. This no-phone is not a phone. What you do get are real friends and more of your attention. It’s supposed to help phone addicts by acting as a comfort item that feels just like your phone, but you can never text or make any calls on it. If you don’t want to spend $10 on this no-phone, you might be able to make your own version of it for free.

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