There’s Walmart, and then there is the whole ecosystem of endless stories around it that never fail to make one cringe, smile, laugh or be bewildered. This could either be due to the customers, some of whom come from a completely different species, or the employees who serve them. The world’s largest private employer manages to collect an array of staff members who basically tick almost every human trait. The pressure of handling such a huge customer base, human shortcomings or just old plain “I am tired of this crap” attitude has resulted in some embarrassing moments, which due to the outward facing nature of the staff’s work, never fails to be broadcast to the world wide web.
Luckily, we like it when this happens. Not just because most of us are not fans of Walmart, but also because on some level, we know some of the mistakes could be intentional. Or maybe the staff is too unmotivated to put it in much effort. It still doesn’t make them less hilarious. Some of them are too unbelievable to even imagine how they were made. Their missteps, though, are our laughter. Here is a recap of some of our favorites to elevate your mood.
19. The Alternative of Credit is Debit, Or Not
According to some guys over at Walmart, you don’t need a credit card if you have, well, panties. Ladies panties to be specific. A picture shows polka dotted ladies underwear emblazoned with the tag “Who needs credit cards…” at the front, implying a reference to the underwear. Nobody can really tell how drawers can replace credit cards. At least not with a straight face. But the member of the Walmart staff who made the acquisition, and the one who put them on display, thought it is quite normal or cool. With your drawers, you can draw from many things credit cards do.
18. We Sell Ugly Too
The employee is either way too specific, an honest fashion enthusiast, a just plain honest human being with sound judgment and consideration for fellow humans, or just wants to make sure you easily get what you are looking for if you are into ugly clothes. For this particular case, ugly comes at a price of $ 5.50, and it is highly visible. Someone at Walmart tagged a sweater under ugly, right before the price. Clearly, they didn’t have time to sugarcoat or market things. Maybe it was a message to the management, a limitation in vocabulary or perhaps the message just got lost in translation.
17. Grapes Discount
Do you like grapes? Do you want them at a discount? Do not worry, Walmart has your back with an unbeatable grapes discount. Probably in the excitement of announcing a discount on grapes, the employee made the grapes the discount as well. A sign announcing discounted grapes reads grapeless (sic) grapes. As in, selling grapes without grapes. Which makes it no grapes. Probably not what they intended to say. Judging from a picture of the grapes on display, it appears it was meant to say a batch of red seedless grapes. Still, what a discount!
16. Let’s Roll Back Your Bank Account
Language and math do not always go together, especially at higher levels. However, at a basic level, it shouldn’t be too complicated, or should it? In retail, we all know a rollback refers to a reduction in price or a sale. Which is pretty much the same thing. If you are taking it literally, then this employee agrees with you. For him/her, taking the price of something from $168 to $498 is a rollback. And it should be celebrated. However, the only rollback we can see here is that of your account, and nobody, not even Bill Gates, likes those ones.
15. The Tense Applies To Yesterday
Discounts, or an illusion of them, are an almost foolproof way to ensure stock moves. All you need sometimes to imply a sale or discount is to introduce, or change, a few words next to the item. We all like to know what we are saving. Alternatively, you can just change the words. Like the time Walmart used Was and Now to imply a price change but the price remained the same. After all, you still could be technically right. Because of yesterday, the price was as shown. And so it is for today, as much as it is the same price.
14. It Ain’t That Obvious To Many
Now, trying something on before purchasing it is a standard way of making sure whatever you are buying is the right size. Or maybe it’s not size, but feel that you’re concerned with, like when you’re buying a car. However, that doesn’t really extend to the “below the surface” things, like underwear. But Walmart didn’t want to take chances, so they put up a “do not open or try on product” sign in front of some Trojans! You never know. There could be guys who would like to be sure before they leave the store. Accuracy means no lost chances, right? Still, how can you actually try them on without being thrown out?
13. The Thought Counts
First, nothing says “I just picked this up” like a cake with an overly generalized message. However, one can get past that. After all, it is the thought that counts. But a typo in the message is a tad too far, especially if they misspelled probably the word that is most written on cakes; Congratulations!! How can you even trust that it is a cake? The only thing worse than this is someone giving you a cake with another person’s name. At least it was still on the shelves. Customers had better judgment than the stockist, or the QA guy, maybe.
12. Typos Are Part of Education
What is the difference? It still sounds the same when reading aloud. It is just one letter. I bet not all the customers noticed it. You could have made the same mistake. You still understood it, didn’t you? All these are excuses for misspelling words. All these could apply is some scenarios. However, none could justify such a prominently displayed typo on a copy that says they care about education. How about organizing a spelling bee for the guys doing the typing before y’all go out embarrassing yourselves in front of all those folks who care about education?
11. Some Cultural Awareness Is Recommended
Cultures vary, especially the major ones. Some nuances may escape some. After all, there is a lot of one’s own culture that sometimes you cannot keep up with. However, some general awareness is required. That way, you can avoid some facepalm moments. Like stocking ham and promoting it as a Chanukah sale at Walmart. Some awareness could have made one alert to the point that the Jewish people do not eat pork. You know a “rose by any other name” kind of thinking applies here. But it requires one to know all or some pork products and who doesn’t like pork.
10. Boys Love Them Either Way
There is getting it wrong, and then there is getting it wrong. Or one just not caring at all. How else can you explain how one hangs bras under a Boys’ Basics sign. Not only are they not boys’ basics, they’re not for boys. Imagine walking by with your little boy who asks why he doesn’t have a pair. Or why he has never seen daddy with any. Anyway, let’s chalk it up to boys loving them, or rather what’s under them, and hope that is what whoever put them up had in mind. At least we can’t deny the truth in that.
9. A Babe At 50 Cents
Poor spacing? Deliberate? Poorly conceived prank? You may never know. One thing we know is you can get an African American girlfriend at Walmart for half a dollar. They might have run out of stock given it was a clearance sale. Maybe you could still find one at full price. Whatever this was intended to be, it missed the mark by a considerable amount. But it sure was a great package for the interwebs. Who can see that and fail to take a picture with friends to post on every conceivable social network? It sure is a perfect way to elicit some reaction.
8. Numbers Are Different From Words
Numbers have correct corresponding words that denote their meaning. In the pressurized environment of a manufacturing plant, you can print number 12 below the word thirteen. It may make its way to the store, then the shelf. Maybe the staff didn’t look at the words. Alternatively, who cares about the numbers and the words if the garment is in pitch perfect condition? Not the several strangers giving you knowing smiles as you walk down the street. I mean it hadn’t left the shelves before it got attention. Seems like the only people not good at giving attention are Walmart employees.
7. Keep Your Paycheck, Don’t Be a Hero
On any other day, stopping a gunman out to cause harm to innocent people makes one a hero. Seems not at Walmart. Four Walmart employees whose jobs were to protect assets lost their jobs for stopping a shoplifter who turned out to be armed and had outstanding warrants. Police said they did everything right. Nobody was hurt, at least not physically. And everyone thought it was great and courageous. Everyone but their supervisor and probably those above the supervisor. Soon after the incident, they got put on a week’s suspension without pay, and soon after that, rendered jobless for contravening company rules. Wow!
6. Not The Kind Of Love We Know
There is a photo of t-shirt with a message that reads “ Nothing Says I love You Quite Like Fisting” complete with a raised fist that was on display at Walmart. We have tried to imagine a scenario where this is possible, but none comes to mind. Not even as a pun or a joke. The only kinds of fisting we know of are completely the opposite of being expressions of love. Whether you are getting down or extending the laws of grammar to refer to punching yourself, there is an element that is completely removed from expressing love, even the weird kind.
5. Fasteners Are Better Than Our Signs
An unlucky occurrence, yes. But still funny, and full of irony. If it was something else, nothing could have taken away the confidence faster. But hey, it is just a hanging sign that came loose. Unfortunately, above the wrong rack. A sign that announces fasteners at Walmart, wait for it, became unfastened on one side and hung there above the fasteners (awkward). It seems no employee saw it or found that weird. Can you imagine being there, busy selecting your favorite fastener, only for a sign that says fasteners to come unhinged and clang you on the head?
4. Watermelons and Pumpkins
What, they aren’t the same? Not really. Not unless you are a Walmart employee. Oh, there is another difference, you are not supposed to cook one. A carton clearly labeled Watermelons is seen fully stuffed with pumpkins in this photo. Maybe, the employee only knew about watermelons or transferred the task of making the right choice to the customer. If you happen to be a hurry, or just not paying attention as you shop, then you may end up missing a fruit serving during dinner. Because you brought home a pumpkin and not many people eat those raw.
3. These Too Could Be Bras
Seems some people are not that conversant with this ladies’ garment, whether it is classifying bras under “boys’ basics” or inventing a new type of bra altogether. The rest of us know these garments that are classified under bras as t-shirts. A cool suggestion for Walmart, how about you move the t-shirts over to the boys’ basics section and put those bras under the bra section. There would be multiple wins: getting rid of the perception of cluelessness and, in case there are boys who regard bras as basics, they would find them in the right place and avoid looking like weirdos.
2. Some Protection for Mummy
I have heard stories of mothers and condoms in stores but under very different settings. Like that of a shopper who dropped a box of condoms into a shopping basket of a mother whose brood of six was way too much even for her. However, I have never heard of someone giving their mother condoms as a gift for Mother’s Day. You cannot be more insulting. That is why it could be hard for most people to figure out the thinking behind promoting condoms as a Mother’s Day gift at Walmart. Complete with a “for Mom with love” sentence. Aww.
1. As Long You Can Wear It In Water
Swimwear. Not many people can confuse that, or so you’d think. And you would be wrong. Not wrong in the confusing bikinis for swimming gear kind of way. Wrong in the categorization of winter hats as swimwear way. Complete with a Canada tag. It doesn’t make sense unless you are referring to walking in Montreal as it snows as swimming. Interestingly, winter clothing is categorized as swimwear. Even when we are referring to Canada, or whether you own a heated swimming pool, there is no way we see you wearing that and announcing, “I am going for a short swim” and appearing normal.
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