Men are Mars, women are from Venus. I mean how true is that? Men are different, women are different and they can’t communicate, which is why we have an entirely segregated society like some Ancient Greek myths where the women live in their own communes like amazons and only meet with men once a year… right?
Of course that’s nonsense. The people who think that they can’t communicate are probably the ones who have problems communicating because their own social skills might need a little fine tuning. Or maybe a lot of fine tuning, I don’t know. The Internet has all kinds of people, but the stereotype is still of the highly awkward young man who can’t blurt out that he likes a girl, or get a girl that does like him (initially) to continue being interested in him.
But fear not! On this dime-a-dozen article on the Internet that is designed primarily to entertain you, we will delve deep into the simple, common sense advice of what men should and should not do when trying to strike up a nice conversation with a girl that they like and try to get into a relationship or maintain that relationship.
15. Do: Don’t be afraid to do goofy things in front of her
So our first bit of advice for guys is girls don’t always like a superbly serious guy. There are times to be serious, but there are probably more times in which being funny and playful are what is really needed. You’ve probably seen it happen many times when you’re passing by a couple and the guy starts doing some goofy stuff as a joke. On the Internet, these videos are everywhere, the girls always love a guy who can make them laugh.
Of course the big issue is not taking it too far. Because while being fun and goofy is good, it is only good in short bursts. You don’t want to end up looking like a clown, especially with the movie It reminding people how terrifying clowns are.
14. Don’t do: Never Laugh
On the polar opposite of the first entry, there are men who never laugh or never smile. That’s a massive turn off to any woman. It not only makes a guy dull, but it could turn off a lot of people or even give off an intimidating vibe. When you want to get close to a girl, it is a good idea to show a softer, friendlier version of yourself. Laughing also serves a strong social function. Laughing at a girl’s jokes make her feel included and accepted. So by never laughing or smiling, you are silently pushing her away.
13. Do: Do her friends a favor
One thing that girls love guys doing is when they do them favors that really come from a place of generosity and sincerity. What they love more is when you do these favors to their friends as well. It shows that you are really interested in being close to her and care about the well being of her friends and not just entirely fixated on her. Of course once again, the most important thing here is where the favors come from. Don’t go overboard with these or try to take the focus off of her and more on her friends. The focus point is important because of our next point.
12. Don’t do: Look away when they’re talking
So remember what I said about focus above? Well one of those reasons why is when you are with your girl and talking to her, whether in private or in public, you should always keep the focus on her. Don’t look away while she is talking. What this does should be obvious. It means you’re either ignoring her, or it looks like you think what she has to say is unimportant and not worthy of your concern.
This is obviously not good. When you are with a girl, you need to make her feel that nothing else matters but her. That level of focus and attention would make her feel like the most special girl in the world, which is exactly what you want her to feel, and after you’ve listened to her speak, what you should do next is…
11. Do: Tell her stories from your childhood
After you’ve gained some level of emotional connection, one thing that girls will absolutely notice about you, and what they love to hear, is when you tell her stories about your childhood. Childhood is often a very important part of someone’s life, if not the most important part. Telling stories about your childhood, both the negatives and the positives, can be a great way to make and cement a connection with a girl. This is especially true when she brings up stories about her childhood as well. But remember, just as you must keep your focus on her, you must not let your focus be accidentally distracted by something else…
10. Don’t do: Look at the phone mid-conversation
Remember how you’re not supposed to look away from her when she is talking to you, especially when she is talking about something that is important to her? Well looking away shows you are deliberately disinterested. That’s bad enough, but that mean you are controlling your interest… looking at your phone mid-conversations, even if it is something relatively important (note: This does not apply to actual emergencies or major events texted to you) means you’re uninterested by default. That’s actually even worse, and she will absolutely hate you for it. Make sure that you make her feel like she is not only the center of the conversation, but that she is actually the center of the world when she is talking to you.
9. Do: Tell her how important she is to you
So far, we’ve spoken about making her feel important through indirect or direct body language, but we have not touched upon the fact that you need to make her feel important in a more direct sense. Remember, people love hearing about how great they are. When you’re with her, if she is into you, she will tell you how great you are, and you must reciprocate. Don’t take it for granted that she knows. Tell her how important she is to you. When she does something to you, thank her for it. If you like how she looks, tell her you like how she looks. Girls really do notice and they really love this.
8. Don’t do: Not asking questions about her
Remember, when you are with a girl, you must always make her feel that she is not only the center of attention, but also that she is the center of YOUR attention. Take a moment to ask her about herself: what she likes, what makes her tick, and what she wants to do with her life. Ask her about her own childhood, like what you shared about yours. These things are just as important to her as they are to you. If you’re an awkward guy who never really did think much about talking to girls, remember that they’re people just like you, and that’s exactly what you have to your advantage.
7. Do: Groom to appease her
Do you have a mustache, or a beard? Or maybe you’re a clean shaven type of guy. There are nearly an infinite amount of possibilities for styling facial hair for guys, but one thing that is always true is that girls have different preferences, and your personal styles can always change. Does she like a guy with a well-trimmed Clark Gable mustache? Grow one for her. Does she like a small beard? No harm in keeping one for her. The manly 3 day stubble? Getting a permastubble electric shaver isn’t hard or expensive.
Not just facial hair, but other aspects of you look are a cinch to do. Wear a tie a certain way, or otherwise have some mild modification to your dress that would still let you walk into the most conservative workplace out there. She’ll notice, and she’ll love you for it.
6. Don’t do: Badmouth your ex
You probably realize there is something you need not say. Never, ever, bad mouth your ex to her. Ever. This is a rule that is not to be broken. She knows she is not the first girl you’ve ever been with (unless she IS the first girl you’ve ever been with, then this rule still applies…), but she doesn’t need to know about your past.
Why? Because it shows how angry you still are towards your ex. It shows that she probably still means a lot to you and you’re probably comparing her too much to your current girl. Don’t let that cloud your judgment. See her for what she truly is without looking at another person. She is your girlfriend; your ex is your ex.
5. Do: Give her keys to your apartment
After you wisely refrain from comparing your current girl to your ex and badmouthing your ex to her. You want to establish even more trust between you two. What’s one way of doing that? Well, beyond showing her where you live, actually giving her a spare key to your house is even better. This is a major league sign that you care about her and trust her to a very high level. Imagine you have to spend time away from her, and she has the means to just walk in on you in the middle of the night. That’s some serious trust right there.
4. Don’t do: Not care about your appearance
Have you ever walked down the street and seen a really, really shabby guy? Then you think: this guy probably is rather lonely due to his shabbiness. While there are some girls that really don’t care, the fact that they don’t take care of themselves is a very telling thing. A guy who doesn’t take care of himself because he has let himself go is probably someone who won’t care much about looking after a girl in his life.
3. Do: Tell her you want her to meet your family
So one of the things that girls love, especially when things are going steady between you and her, is being completely accepted by your family. That is actually a big thing to tell her, and an even bigger thing to actually do. After all, if she is a big part of your life, that alone will make a world of difference to her. Assuming, of course, she is as invested in you as you are in her (never forget that). She will absolutely love it if you say you want her to meet your family and that she will be loved by all the people she meets there.
2. Don’t do: Use weird nicknames
So while nicknames for one another are OK (and almost natural at one point), one thing that girls hate is weird nicknames. While a couple is expected to be with one another, this is not a reason to make up something that boils down one aspect of your relationship with her. Don’t use weird nicknames… just don’t. It isn’t respectful, it’s annoying, and it’s really, really uncreative and very crass. That’s all there is to say about it.
1. Don’t do: Show random nudes on social media
So this is the ultimate on the don’t do list. Just don’t do this. Please don’t. It isn’t even something that needs mentioning… but if you think sending random nudes of yourself is a good idea, then please understand that it isn’t, and it especially isn’t when you post it for the entire world to see. It doesn’t matter how ripped you are, or how well built you are, it just isn’t something that needs to be shared.
Remember… Arnold Schwarzenegger once acted in, and has photos of, roles that required nudity, and I guarantee you, the Internet never, EVER forgets. Neither will your girl… or more appropriately, soon to be ex-girl…
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