At the beginning of our relationships, we all try so hard to be the best possible versions of ourselves in order for the other person to like us as much as they possibly can. But as time passes, we start taking things for granted and we forget to put in the effort that we did before. As we get even more comfortable in a relationship, we start doing some things that are pretty disgusting, and we do them without thinking about our partners or how they feel.
While the pressures of everyday life are sometimes really hard, it is no excuse to stop working on the quality of our relationships. Every relationship needs its own maintenance in order to be successful in the long run. If you just stop putting in effort, it might seem like you don’t care about your partner enough, and your partner will probably resent that, especially if he or she really does put effort into keeping the relationship healthy and fresh. There are some things that every person in a relationship should do, but even more importantly, there are some disgusting things and habits that you should by all means avoid.
15. Talking About Yourself All The Time
If you want to be a part of a successful relationship, you really need to learn how to listen. If you’re not interested in your partner’s life at all, and you keep talking about yourself all the time, your partner will most likely feel sick of it pretty soon. If you show no interest in your partner’s needs, wishes, or problems, and you constantly try to pull focus to yourself, not only is it rude, but it is also a pretty disgusting habit that could ruin almost any relationship. No one likes to feel like the less worthy half of a duo.
To put it as simply as possible, if you want a healthy relationship, don’t act like a self-absorbed narcissist. You might think that you are the most interesting person in the world and that your experiences and problems are more important than those of anybody else, but if you think it, at least don’t show it.
14. Body Hair Going Wild
From time to time, this happens to everybody, and in those cases, it is actually not such a big deal. Sometimes you simply don’t have the time to perfectly shave or trim. If those situations happen now and then, your partner will probably be okay with it. This becomes a problem only if it becomes a habit.
When you share a bed with your partner, it’s important to try to keep the romance alive for as long as possible. If you don’t shave your body hair for the whole winter, not only is it not sexy (except if your partner is into that), but it is also not really good for your self-respect. When you feel attractive and pretty, your partner will see you in that way, too. Great self-esteem can do wonders for your sex life and, ultimately, for the general quality of your relationship.
People do so much crazy stuff when there is no one else around them, but it’s really important to keep some of those things to yourself. Your partner doesn’t need to know every disgusting little detail about you. Farting is one of those things you should really only do when you’re alone. Let’s be honest, it’s not sexy at all. Your partner doesn’t want to smell your farts.
However, sometimes you really have to do it and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s a completely normal and natural process, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. But if you need to do it, just go to the bathroom or choose another appropriate, private place. Farting while watching a romantic movie in the bed with your partner might not be the best idea. If it happens by accident, just laugh about it and forget about it, but try not to do it too often.
12. Bad Breath
Do you remember the time at the very beginning of your relationship when you used to brush your teeth or chew a gum every time you were about to get together with your new partner? Those were the days… For some reason, people simply stop doing that after some time in a relationship.
If you eat a meal full of garlic, onions, or other ingredients that might impact your breath in a similarly bad way, try to do something about it if possible. Bad breath is really disgusting, especially if you plan on kissing your partner. No one wants to be able to recognize every ingredient of the meal you had before just by the smell of your breath. If you don’t have the opportunity to brush your teeth after a meal, try to always have a pack of gum in your pocket or purse. Your partner will be grateful for that and there is a better chance that he or she will do the same for you.
11. Poor Personal Hygiene
It goes without saying that personal hygiene is very important, not only when you’re in a relationship, but also generally in life. However, when you spend a lot of time with someone, especially when you share a bed with that person, personal hygiene is more important than ever. Take regular showers, multiple times a day if necessary. No one wants a smelly partner. With better personal hygiene, not only will you smell nice and fresh, you’ll feel fresher too, and it will help you stay energized.
If you want to spice things up a little bit, take a shower with your partner. Even better, take a long, refreshing bath together and turn it into a romantic experience by throwing some scented candles and dim lighting into the mix. With a bit of imagination, you can turn almost anything into a nice, romantic moment for two.
10. Spending Too Much Time On Your Phone
People, in general, spend so much time with their noses buried in their phones. When you’re spending your time with your partner, you should at least try not to answer every message, email, or call. You should definitely stay away from casually browsing social networks and funny videos. Try to dedicate some time for your partner, and put all your focus on them and on them only. They deserve your full attention from time to time. If you interrupt your partner in the middle of the sentence just to answer a casual text, it might seem like you don’t want to spend time with him or her in the first place. Of course, there will be urgent messages or calls that you’ll have to answer immediately, but try to learn to prioritize. Let your partner know that he or she is your priority and that they are more important to you than anybody else.
9. Being Late
Being late is another horrible habit that drives people crazy. You need to respect your partner’s time by simply showing up on time unless you have a valid reason not to. And by “valid reason”, we don’t mean something like “I forgot.”
If you have a problem with being on time and you’re one of those people that are always late, try to plan ahead. Learn how to make approximate estimations on how long something will take you to do, and then plan your day accordingly. Imagine your partner standing alone somewhere in the middle of the street and doing nothing but waiting for you to show up. Then imagine you show up late and pretend like nothing happened. No apology, no explanation. You even try to make it look like your partner is exaggerating when he or she gets angry over how late you are. If you keep that up, you’ll soon have no partner at all.
8. Trying To Improve Him/Her
Nobody is perfect – everybody knows that, yet sometimes it seems like people are constantly trying to improve their partners to be up to their standards of perfection. The key to a successful relationship is understanding that the person you’re dating is the whole package. That means you need to accept both their good sides, as well as their flaws and all of their little imperfections. If you feel like you need to work so hard on improving someone, maybe you shouldn’t be dating that person in the first place. At the end of the day, acceptance is all that matters. If you’re not willing to accept some parts of the whole puzzle that is your partner, you should express your feelings and try to make the other person understand what bothers you. However, you need to be ready to make some compromises if you want to spend your life with someone.
7. Bringing Up The Past
What is done is done and you need to let go of it. Bringing up the past can’t possibly result in anything good. Things like comparing your current partner to the previous one are very unhealthy for a relationship. Also, talking about your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend all the time can be really bad for your partner’s confidence. It can result in mistrust and suspicions that could lead to extreme jealousy.
It is important to keep your focus on your current partner and on the present. Try to leave the past where it belongs – in the past. If you keep going back, you won’t be able to enjoy your current relationship the way you should. Different partners mean a completely different relationship and completely different feelings. You should be able to explore and go through all of those emotions in order to find out what is it that you ultimately want and need.
6. No Discussion Of Matters
You and your partner need to be able to talk about everything. There is no such thing as a taboo in a healthy relationship, especially when it comes to problems and issues. You need to be able to share your feelings with your partner in order to make things better for both of you. Your partner can’t read your mind or magically know what is bothering you if you don’t tell him or her yourself. Sweeping things under the rug usually leads to greater and greater frustrations, which can result in a very ugly explosion of anger. If you discuss all the stuff bothering you with your partner on time, there is a much better chance he or she will understand where you’re coming from, and you will find a solution together. Sometimes you won’t be able to resolve the issue right away, but at least your partner will know how you feel and what needs improving.
5. Fighting In Public
Arguing in public is not so much disgusting as just extremely awkward, both for the couple and for everybody around them. It can be really embarrassing and it’s just altogether unnecessary. The golden rule that should be applied in situations like those is that the private things should remain private. If you have a bone to pick with your partner, there is no need to involve other people in the fight between the two of you. It is especially wrong to try to get other people actively involved in the argument by asking them to state their opinion on the matter or, even worse, to pick a side. Try to keep your fights behind closed doors if possible. Fighting in public will do more harm than good, and it definitely won’t help you resolve anything. It will just add more tension to an already very tense situation.
4. Keeping Score
The ideal relationship should be about perfectly balanced giving and taking. As Hannibal Lecter said: “Quid pro quo, Clarice.” Something for something. This for that. Always in balance.
Normally, this principle works kind of spontaneously. Sometimes it works better, sometimes worse, but it is always about giving as much as you get. The problem occurs when people try to keep score of this. “I paid for gas three times and you only paid once.” Or “I blew off 5 of my friends to spend time with you so you should stay with me today.” It’s a kind of an emotional blackmail.
Try to think less and just be more spontaneous. When you do things because you really want to, it is always better than doing something out of obligation or some mathematical equality. Don’t forget that every relationship is above all about emotions that two people have for each other.
3. Being Melodramatic
Being a drama queen will occasionally help you achieve what you want, but you will drive people around you crazy. If you want a serious relationship, you need to grow up and act like a responsible and reasonable human being. Don’t create unnecessary drama where there is no need for it. For example, if your partner forgets do the dishes, try not to create a huge scene immediately. Take a few deep breaths and approach him or her calmly. You will achieve much more of what you want by addressing the issues calmly and expressing your feelings without raising your voice. If you’re creating problems where there are none, it will only mean more problems are left for you to solve. Transforming every little thing into a huge catastrophe is no way to address issues. It will only create even more tension both for you and your partner, and eventually it will drive both of you completely crazy.
2. Constant PDA
Public displays of affection, also known as PDA, are another thing that should have been left at home, behind closed doors. While hand holding or the occasional quick kiss is perfectly acceptable, there are couples that really know how to take things a little bit too far. It can be really awkward and it can make bystanders really uncomfortable. It is actually very similar to fighting in public; it’s sort of embarrassing for everyone. Moreover, sometimes this kind of excessive public display of affection actually may be used to compensate for the lack of general communication. Sometimes couples function great together beneath the sheets, but when it comes to the talking part, they have nothing to talk about. Constant PDA is often a symptom of not so great communication between the partners, so they go back to what they’re good at – physical affection – often forgetting that there is a right time and place for things like that.
Spying is actually a symptom of a much bigger problem: the lack of trust in the relationship. Sometimes, there is a reason for the mistrust between the partners, and sometimes it’s just a case of extreme jealousy. In any case, spying is the worst kind of disrespecting another person’s privacy. Snooping through texts, documents, drawers, etc. is simply wrong. Everybody has a right to their privacy and even to a couple of little secrets that, in most cases, aren’t at all harmful. People in relationships need to have a life outside the relationship too. If he or she doesn’t want to spend every second of every day with you, that is not a reason to get paranoid. Actually, it is perfectly normal for a person to want to have some parts of their life that don’t involve their partners, such as certain friends or certain activities.
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