Dating can be difficult, intimidating, and sometimes embarrassing. You want to make a good impression and you hope that the other person meets your expectations. It usually doesn’t take too long to get a general sense of where you both stand. If she is hanging onto every word you say and is responding positively to you then it’s a good bet that she is into you. If she calls you up the next day after a date just to talk to you then you can also take this as a good sign. Of course, if she invites you back to her place at the end of the evening then you can be fairly certain that she digs you.
Unfortunately, things aren’t always that straightforward. Dating is complicated above all else. More often than not, there is an initial period of feeling each other out and trying to find common ground. You might quickly find that you have a lot in common which makes it a lot easier for both of you. In other cases, two people will find that they are polar opposites. Then there are those times when you really don’t have a clue whether she’s into you or not. As much as you want her to like you, you are sometimes better off giving up. Here are 15 signs that she’s just not into you.
15. Always Refers to You as Her Friend
This is kind of like the old La Cosa Nostra tradition where if you are a “made guy” and you introduce a civilian to your group, you refer to the civilian as “a friend of mine”. If the person that you are introducing is a fellow member then you refer to him as a “friend of ours”. This eliminates any confusion. When a woman constantly refers to you as a “just a friend” then she’s not into you. Even worse is when somebody else accidentally refers to you as her boyfriend and she goes out of her way to correct them. Talk about being friend zoned!! It can actually be a pretty humiliating experience for all involved. Do yourself a favor. Chalk it up as a loss and move on to greener pastures.
14. Avoids Physical Contact
Getting physically closer to the other person is one of the things that comes naturally in a relationship. It usually starts with a subtle touch and then progresses to all out full body contact. Sometimes the process takes a couple of dates and sometimes it happens right away. Maybe she pulled her hand back when you tried to hold it while you were on your first date. She might have backed away as you went to hug her when you dropped her off after your second date. Now you find yourself at the movie theater with her and you casually put your arm around her only to have her remove it. That’s a pretty clear sign that she’s not into you. Save whatever dignity you have left and give up the chase.
13. You’ve Never Met Her Friends or Family
Normally, certainly not always, both men and women want to show off their new catch to their family and friends. If she’s into you then she should be excited about showing her crowd what a great guy you are and how lucky she is. If you’ve been out on a few dates and she hasn’t introduced you to her friends then she might not be into you. It could also be a sign that she’s already in a relationship and wants to keep you out of sight. Of course, don’t discount the possibility that she might not actually have any friends. There are many reasons that she doesn’t want you to mingle with her crowd and most of those reasons mean that it’s time for you to go back to the drawing board.
12. She Only Meets with You in a Group Setting
This is almost the opposite of keeping you hidden from her crowd. When she only agrees to meet with you in a group setting then you should sound the alarm. It’s one thing to occasionally go to a social gathering together but if this is the only platform on which she’ll be seen with you then she’s likely not too interested in you. She’s sending the message that she doesn’t mind your company but she also doesn’t want to be left alone with you. This would be understandable if you are a famous mass murderer out on a day pass but it probably isn’t the case. At least a social gathering gives you the opportunity to go on the hunt for a more suitable dating prospect like her good looking best friend.
11. She’s Bored
Let’s start by saying that if she seems distracted and fidgety, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s bored. She might be into you but she could just be a little nervous. Dating can cause all sorts of anxiety for both parties. However, if you notice a pattern in which she doesn’t seem engaged in your conversations and she’s constantly distracted then you might want to reassess your game plan. Is she texting when you’re trying to tell her your deepest personal secrets? Hey, you might not be the most interesting guy in the world but if she doesn’t pay you the courtesy of at least feigning interest from time to time then you’re just spinning your wheels in the mud. The only way you’re going to regain traction is by forgetting about her and moving on to the next candidate.
10. She’s Not Ready for a Relationship
This one is among the all-time classic cop-outs in the history of dating. She agreed to go out on a date with you and you might even be having a good time but then she delivers a 105-mile per hour fast ball right at your head when she tells you that she’s not looking for a relationship. It’s always prefaced with something like “I think you’re a really nice guy but…” or “I love your company but…”. The last sentence is usually the same and it can feel like a punch to the gut when you hear her say it. This is especially true if she tells you this on your third or fourth date. By now, most guys realize that when she says that she isn’t looking for a relationship it means that she is looking for a relationship… with someone else.
9. Takes Time Returning Calls or Texts
Back in the good old days before everyone had cell phones and instant messaging, it was pretty easy to dodge phone calls. You could call her house and have her roommate or sibling answer and tell you that she wasn’t there. You would leave a message but it was easy for her to ignore and blame her roommate or sibling for not relaying it when you finally saw her two weeks later. With the new technology, this tactic is outdated. We know perfectly well that she is attached to her cell phone 24 hours per day and she doesn’t ever miss a message. All that’s left for her to do is to ignore it and come up with an excuse like “My battery died” or “I left my phone in my car”. How original. Face it. She’s just not into you.
8. She Doesn’t Like Accepting Gifts and She Won’t Let You Pay Her Way
Let’s pretend that you are out on your third or fourth date. You remember how awkward she seemed to be when you gave her flowers on your first date and how uncomfortable she looked when you bought her that book that she’d been looking for on your second date. Now you’ve just finished a nice meal at your favorite restaurant and the bill comes. As you dig into your wallet she reads the bill and pulls out her half of the tab. “I’ve got it” you say but she insists on paying for her own meal. It’s obvious that she’s not going to let you pay her way. She doesn’t want to put herself in a position where she feels like she owes you something. Why? It’s probably because she’s not into you.
7. She Backs Out of Dates at the Last Minute
It’s understandable that people get sick or must suddenly deal with a crisis. We’ve probably all had dates cancel plans at the last minute for one good reason or another but it’s entirely different when this becomes a pattern. Two Fridays ago she canceled your date because she came down with the flu. Last Friday she called it off at the last minute because she got food poisoning and now she’s calling you to let you know that the date’s off because she just remembered about her pre-made plans to go to a Tupperware party. Don’t be a sap, dude!! She’s clearly not into you. Just for kicks, you can always go along with her game. Try to set another date with her just to see what lame excuse she comes up with next Friday night.
6. She Tells You
There is a scene in the movie Dumb and Dumber where Jim Carrey’s character, Lloyd, is told by his love interest that the chances of her ever dating him are one in a million. Lloyd, being the moron that he is, takes this to mean that he still has a chance with her. Now, most guys aren’t quite as dim as Lloyd Christmas. They understand that if their crush tells them this then it’s game over. It couldn’t be any clearer if she tells you straight up that she is not into you. Unfortunately, a lot of women prefer to play games by doing some of the other things on this list. Be thankful that she was honest with you and focus your attention on someone else. She’s doing you a favor.
5. She Never Gets Dressed Nicely for You
If a woman is truly interested in you then she will act like it. On the flip side, if she’s not into you then she will give you signals. They aren’t always obvious indicators but they are there. One sign that she isn’t into you is if she never gets dolled up when you meet. You know that she is smoking hot when she puts on a skirt, some heels, and a bit of makeup but whenever you meet her she looks like she just woke up in a ditch. Who wants to go to a nice restaurant or a dance club when she looks like that? She’s trying to make herself unattractive to you in the hope that you get turned off and stop pursuing her. It’s a very effective ploy.
4. Always Talking About Other Guys
This has got to be one of the biggest buzz kills when you are out on a date. She keeps rambling on about other guys. Be they friends, co-workers, or exes that she is referring to, it is extremely annoying and it makes you feel like a third wheel even if there isn’t anyone else around. “Yea yea yea…” you think to yourself, “if that guy’s so fricking awesome then why aren’t you with him instead of boring me to death?” If she would rather talk about all the great times that she’s had with other guys then she is probably telling you that she’s not into you. That’s OK. At this point, you are probably not too into her either. It’s time to fold your hand and see a new set of cards.
3. No Displays of Affection
This is another clear signal that she isn’t interested in having a relationship with you. Beyond the friend zone that is. It’s true that some people are uncomfortable showing affection in public but even that’s a little messed up. No holding hands? No flirting? No tongue in the ear? Not even a harmless embrace? We’re not talking about an over-the-top groping session in the middle of a crowded street but the occasional gentle touch or seductive glance isn’t asking too much. It is even clearer if she puts you on ice when you are alone in private. Most people that dig each other show it through various displays of affection. If she isn’t showing it then chances are that she’s not feeling it.
2. She Only Calls when She’s in Need
Some guys are just plain dumb. They meet a girl that they really dig but the feelings are obviously not mutual. She might let you buy her dinner or take her out for a movie if you ask her but she would never think of calling you. That is unless she needs a favor. She might want you to help her move or maybe she wants you to fix her car. You would never even garner consideration if she was looking for a quick hookup but when it comes to performing some other hassle of a task she’s got no qualms about calling you first. The funny thing is that a lot of dudes think of it as an opportunity to be her hero. No. It’s just an opportunity for her to take advantage of someone she’s not into.
1. She Never Initiates a Date
This is one of the clearest signs that she’s not into you. It’s one thing for a woman to play hard to get but if you are the one that is always making the plans and calling her then she probably isn’t entertaining thoughts of freeing you from the friend zone. It may have been a little different in past eras when it wasn’t as acceptable for women to ask guys out on dates but this is 2017 and it’s been the norm for decades. If she really was into you then she would be calling and trying to make plans to be with you. If you are the one that is doing all of the heavy lifting while she looks on with indifference then you should admit to yourself that you’re not her type.
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