We all have fantasies. Some of them are highly romantic, like spending the night with the man or woman of your dreams on a candlelit rooftop overlooking the city. Others are less PG-13, more rated R for risqué. We don’t always feel comfortable admitting to having these fantasies, women especially, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have them. Would you feel comfortable telling your friends that you fantasize about making love to someone while centipedes crawl across your legs and torso? Let me guess: it just wasn’t the right time to share something so intimate. Perhaps we wouldn’t find our fantasies so unusual if we realized how common they actually are.
Researchers have wondered the same thing. Several research studies have focused on what men fantasize about. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, entitled “What Exactly Is an Unusual Fantasy?”, wanted to determine which erotic fantasies are common among men. The researchers asked men living in Quebec to answer the Wilson’s Sex Fantasy Questionnaire. 717 men completed the questionnaire, of which the majority were heterosexual. The fifteen most common fantasies as reported by these men are listed below. Be warned: you’re about to enter an erotic zone.
15. “Nice to meet you. Want to be pleasured?”
A few naughty thoughts about the neighbour’s wife never hurt anyone, right? I certainly hope not, because roughly 66% of men fantasize about pleasuring an acquaintance. That acquaintance might be a neighbour, a co-worker, or the woman who rings up your groceries every week. Any woman with the slightest relationship to a man might feature in his pleasure palace fantasy. It’s nice to find out that men don’t just fantasize about receiving pleasure, but that the majority of them throw us women a bone from time to time. Of course, it’s nowhere near the number of men who fantasize about being pleasured, as you’ll discover if you read on.
14. The DD effect
To all of the ladies out there: if you’re thinking about getting a boob job, then think big. Nearly 69% of men fantasize about sleeping with a woman with very large breasts. What men consider large is unclear, but my guess is nothing smaller than a DD bra size. Men’s focus on breast size shouldn’t surprise anyone. Breasts hold special evolutionary significance in the game of mating. They’re a cue to youth, which is a cue to greater reproductive success. The larger they are, the more obvious it is when they sag, which gives a man a sense of a woman’s age.
13. Getting their antenna adjusted by their partner
Receiving pleasure is just as arousing as giving it. Ask the 72% of men who fantasize about being pleasured by their partner. Occasionally, men like to let women take the wheel when it comes to experiencing arousal. They don’t always want to be the ones in charge. Sometimes, they just want to sit back, relax, and experience a rush of endorphins with one deft stroke of the antenna. Why use your own hand when you can make use of someone else’s? Sure, men can pleasure themselves whenever they wish. But pleasure is so much more fun when you have someone to share the experience with.
12. Getting freaky with a stranger
It seems that a fairly large percentage of men fantasize about having a romantic encounter with someone they don’t even know. Nearly 73% of men indicated that they fantasize about getting it on with an unknown person. This brings a whole new meaning to the term “stranger danger”. Hooking up with a stranger sounds thrilling, at least in our minds. In reality, men who decide to hook up with a stranger are more likely to end up on an episode of Deadly Women than in the middle of an erotic fantasy. I wonder how many men who fantasize about sleeping with a stranger actually want to live out their fantasy…
11. A feast of women
A good old-fashioned orgy anyone? 75% of men fantasize about hooking up with more than three people at the same time. Predictably, all of the people involved in the fantasy orgy are women. No bi-curiosity for men. It’s easy to see why an orgy might be mentally appealing. In men’s fantasies, they can imagine themselves surrounded by the naked bodies of highly attractive women, giving and receiving pleasure for days. In reality, it can be hard for men to find one woman who’s interested enough to sleep with them, let alone four women or more. And at the same time, no less.
10. Rubbing their partner’s raspberry
Giving pleasure to one’s partner is in itself a pleasurable thing. It certainly appears so, at least, when 76% of men fantasize about pleasuring their partner. It can feel like an accomplishment to know that you can elicit such desire in a romantic partner. It gives a man a sense of power, of control, to be able to arouse a woman. Men, after all, were evolutionarily programmed to be the dominant party in the bedroom. It’s a point of pride for men to make a woman experience pleasure at their hand. Keep on pleasuring us women, men; we don’t mind.
9. Tongue tornado
To men, the female anatomy is a new territory to explore and conquer. And conquer it they will… with their tongues. 78% of men fantasize about giving cunnilingus. It’s so much more glamourous, and less sticky, in our fantasies. Going down on a woman is a challenge not for the faint of heart. Think of brave Kevin in American Pie, studying the ancient art of lovemaking in order to please his girlfriend Vicky. It was the “Tongue Tornado” that won her over, you know. If a man goes down on a woman just right, then he can expect a whole lot of pleasure in return. And possibly a Stage 5 clinger.
8. Set the stage for love
The statistics don’t lie: men are secret romantics at heart. Just look at the numbers. 78% of men fantasize about making love in a romantic location, like on a deserted beach. It seems like all of those romantic movies that women drag their boyfriends and husbands to see are rubbing off on the male species. A romantic setting can really put a man in the mood for a romp in the hay, so to speak. The setting can provide the necessary romance that may be lacking in one’s romantic partner. Soft music can distract a man from a woman’s snoring, for example. I think it’s safe to say that this is one fantasy that men wouldn’t mind coming true.
7. Ready, aim, fire
For men, hooking up equates to target practice. 80% of men fantasize about ejaculating on their romantic partner. I suspect that the fantasy is so popular because many women don’t allow it in real life. I don’t blame them; the image would strike fear in many a germaphobe’s heart. In a man’s fantasy, however, he can fire away without fear of being dumped. He can even make it into a game. I can picture it now. A chest shot is worth fifty points, and a head shot is worth one hundred points. Bonus points if you land one in her mouth!
6. Lesbian voyeurism
I remember when lesbian couples started appearing on every popular network television show on the air, around the same time. Not just any lesbian couples; hot lesbian couples. That’s what happens when you put male writers in charge. Lesbianism becomes the stuff of fantasies and stops reflecting reality. 82% of men fantasize about watching two women make love. They fantasize about it so much that they flooded television with it. They sent the message that every woman is ready to hook up with another woman given the right circumstances, and especially if they’re both attractive. But that reality only lives in men’s fantasies.
5. “You did what where?”
The unfamiliar can certainly be tantalizing. A whopping 82% of men fantasize about hooking up in an unusual place. Examples of such places included in the Sex Fantasy Questionnaire are the office and public toilets. What I’d like to know is when the office became an unusual place to hook up in. Public toilets I get, but the office? Don’t people have workplace affairs all the time? In any case, sensation seeking strikes again. Sometimes, an unusual place is all that a man needs to spice up a sex life that has been fizzling out. Try a hospital bed on for size. Or the showers at your local golf club. That one can even double as a public place. Two fantasies with one strategically chosen location.
4. The cheat code
You’ve all done it, fantasized about another woman while making love to your girlfriends or wives. The proof is in the statistics, because 83% of men fantasize about hooking up with someone that they know who isn’t their spouse. Maybe it’s the young and unassuming intern at the office who brings you your coffee every morning. Or maybe it’s the cleaning lady whose clothes fit just a little too tightly. One thing’s for sure: it isn’t your wife. Affairs are exciting, at least on TV they are. There’s even a whole show dedicated to an affair (aptly titled The Affair). But affairs are tricky in real life, which is why men don’t necessarily want their fantasies to come true.
3. Three’s company
So traditional threesomes trounce orgies in men’s fantasies. About 85% of men fantasize about hooking up with two women at the same time. It’s a daunting task, pleasuring two women simultaneously, but most men are up for it. At least, in their fantasies they are. Women are so much more easy-going in men’s imaginations. In reality, I wonder how many of the 83% of men would actually know what to do in a threesome situation. My guess is that the women would have to steer the ship, so to speak. Suffice it to say that most men have their ideal threesome draft picks in their head. Who would your two lovemaking partners be?
2. Do you do oral?
Pleasuring your partner orally can be a chore, but never in our fantasies. Nearly 88% of men fantasize about taking part in fellatio or cunnilingus. It’s unclear what “taking part in” actually means. Does it mean both giving and receiving oral pleasure? Or is it a one-way street? Either way, pleasure is involved. I tend to assume that men are experiencing oral pleasure in these fantasies, since more men fantasized about this than about giving oral pleasure to a woman. It’s also possible that the 10% difference is accounted for by homosexual men. What I wouldn’t give to ask the men surveyed a few follow-up questions.
1. Public indecency
There’s something titillating about the thought of being caught doing the nasty in public. Many men agree; 66% of them fantasize about making love openly in a public place. If you believe this result, then more than half of men have a secret lust for sensation seeking, whether they act on that lust or not. Hooking up with someone in the vicinity of prying eyes can be daring, exhilarating, and just a tad fetishistic. I’m not sure how many men would leave the safety of their bedrooms to actually risk being caught with their pants down in public, but one can imagine. What would you do if you were sure you wouldn’t get caught?
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